<?xml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'?><?xml-stylesheet href="http://www.blogger.com/styles/atom.css" type="text/css"?><feed xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom' xmlns:openSearch='http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/' xmlns:georss='http://www.georss.org/georss' xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218</id><updated>2012-01-27T09:20:23.358Z</updated><category term='Light Unto the Nations Award'/><title type='text'>Rusty's Skewed News Views</title><subtitle type='html'>LIBEL LAWYERS BE ADVISED: 
Rusty's Skewed News Views is a spoof publication, fired by the ironies of human nature and tempered with elements of misanthropy, satire and parody, and should not, therefore, be taken too fucking seriously. All libel writs issued on behalf of offended humourless ego's and/or those suffering from unqualified arrogance may be addressed to: Rusty the Boddington's Badger, Igloo 69, Pasquinade Gardens, Penguin Parade, Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica.</subtitle><link rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default?max-results=100'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/'/><link rel='hub' href='http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/'/><link rel='next' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default?start-index=101&amp;max-results=100'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><generator version='7.00' uri='http://www.blogger.com'>Blogger</generator><openSearch:totalResults>1888</openSearch:totalResults><openSearch:startIndex>1</openSearch:startIndex><openSearch:itemsPerPage>100</openSearch:itemsPerPage><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-4745481469708257088</id><published>2012-01-27T08:43:00.004Z</published><updated>2012-01-27T09:20:23.368Z</updated><title type='text'>ZioNazi Mafia Funding Gingrich Campaign</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, the Republican candidate squabble for the GOP Presidential bid continues, albeit with a depleted line up of contestants willing to keep up the fantasy ‘war on terror’, further demonise Islam and bomb Iran back to the Stone Age - if they can only get their arses into the coveted Oval Office slot.&lt;br /&gt;Apart from the only upright – and sane – bloke amongst the shower of shits – Ron Paul - what a bunch of dog wankers and tosspots they are – and all suffering from the ego surpasses intellect syndrome. 300 million Yanks to choose from and this is the best they can do? &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh well, it’s all the Rothshite crime syndicate need to implement and discharge their Israel First and New World Order agendas – with Tel Aviv deciding US foreign policy to suit their advantage. &lt;br /&gt;Any doubts, just think back to the last clot – Dubya Bush – now you couldn’t find a more stupid prick to be President if you tried – although he did have a genuine US birth certificate – and a Texan social security number – unlike the Kenyan cuckoo squatting in the White House right now – Mista Hope n Change. The Teleprompter Man&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, while Ron Paul’s chances are stricken by the fact he comes across as an honest bloke – the only one capable of intelligence, independent thinking and possessed with common sense out of the septic bunch - hence has as much chance of being selected as of Obama admitting he’s an impostor - at least the more lunatic fringe have now been eliminated. Specifically the batshit bonkers Michelle Bachmann; the equally dingbat Herman Cain; Rick Perry; Jon Huntsman and Cruddy Roemer.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thus we’re left with the three likely lads: Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, and the graft and corruption-ridden witless wonder from Pennsylvania - ‘Rabid Rick’ Santorum - all stigmatised by AIPAC’s Four B’s Doctrine: Bribery, Blackmail, Bludgeons and Bodybags. Ah well, any one of them is up to doing the job – obeying the Rothshite crime syndicate’s orders – with a spot of ego-massaging and a few dollars thrown in. A Nobel Peace Prize, perhaps.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But a peek behind the polls, with the kikesters in control of the primaries’ vote count, indicates that ‘The Grinch’ is the boy the Ashkenazi Jews of convenience want in the White House.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Newton Leroy Gingrich - the type of person who intuitively prompts you to count your fingers after shaking hands with him. Another of the good ole US of A’s jukebox politicians – and they’ve got a Senate and Congress full of them - stick a few coins in and Newt will play any tune his Masters want – such as “What Palestinian question? The Palestinians don’t exist – they’re just a figment of some fucker’s warped imagination. God bless Israel. Israel forever.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Yep, Newt’s the guy to push the implementation of the ‘Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act’  and the ‘National Defence Authorization Act’ to fruition – and clear out the Occupy 99% scum from their anti-capitalist squats and fill the FEMA camps like Auschwitz Birkenau and Bergen-Belsen. &lt;br /&gt;If the Israeli psychos want to attack Iran then Newt’s just the man to have in the Oval Office to okay US support – and pre-emptive strike participation.  &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But Newt’s high on family values too – as evidenced recently by using the daughters from his first marriage to Jackie Battley to convince the media - and thus the public - that Marianne Githner, his wife from the second fubar marriage, is lying about the third wife - Callista ‘Blonde Moment’ Bisek.&lt;br /&gt;Let’s not forget the character of this scumbag that AIPAC are pushing for the top job – who visited first spouse Jackie in hospital following her cancer surgery – to inform her he was shacking up with Marianne and wanted a divorce. Nice bloke.&lt;br /&gt;No shit, Newt might as well be a shifty Shylock himself, doling out chutzpah of that audacious calibre.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, who’s just bunged a big wad into the funding kitty for the Grinch’s campaign, might we ask? None other than the zillionaire kikester Sheldon ‘Monkey Boy’ Adelson – Nevada’s notorious kiddie fiddling poison dwarf cum Las Vegas casino owner cum Rothshite crime syndicate gopher.&lt;br /&gt;Shifty Sheldon’s in tight with Israeli PM Bobo Nuttyahoo, and reputed to be a faithful ‘sayan’ and paymaster for Mossad’s US ‘Kidon’ hit squads, A sponsor of Israeli art students. Thick as thieves (sic) with WTC owner Larry Silverslime – and a founding member of Las Vegas’ St Shylock’s Synagogue for Latter Day Hi-Fivers.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Doubtless the Grinch and Shorty Adelson have a lot in common, as if either of them dropped dead there would be no need to dig a grave due the fact both are so bent the undertakers could simply wind them into the cemetery sod like a couple of corkscrews.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;For the record, following in the footsteps of fellow kikester Meyer Lansky, Adelson purchased the Sands Hotel &amp; Casino in Las Vegas (the former hangout of Frank Sinatra and the notorious Twat Pack) as the main vehicle of choice for laundering their crime syndicate earnings – and now, with his Chinese Black Dragon Society partner Stan Ho, owns the Cotai Landfill Casino Resort in Macau – an artificial island constructed entirely out of cast-off betting slips, knotted condoms, chewed beer mats, aborted foetuses and the mutilated bodies of no-pay losers snuffed by the Big Nose Tong.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh yes, just like Tel Aviv, if Beijing has a problem with US foreign policy, Adelson is the man they call – who is straight on the phone to his stooges in Congress – such as convicted criminal Tom DeLay. So if Newt gets into the White House, the US of A will be run by the Knesset – even more so than it is already.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Within the Oxford English Dictionary’s indexed lexicon of 750,000-plus words there is none that accurately describes Newt Gingrich or his pathetic human condition - however it has been unanimously agreed by a conclave / synod of Democrats that the word CUNT comes pretty close.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a ZioNazi-infested area and may contain traces of apartheid, lunacy and galloping racism.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-4745481469708257088?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/4745481469708257088/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=4745481469708257088' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4745481469708257088'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4745481469708257088'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/zionazi-mafia-funding-gingrich-campaign.html' title='ZioNazi Mafia Funding Gingrich Campaign'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-5905034435070252881</id><published>2012-01-27T08:37:00.003Z</published><updated>2012-01-27T09:08:43.822Z</updated><title type='text'>Spurs Boss Pleads ‘Maybe Guilty’</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Southwark Crown Court tax evasion trial of Tottenham Hotspur soccer club manager Harry ‘Bungo’ Redneck took a bizarre turn today when his defence counsel, Sue Fleecem QC, entered an ‘about-turn’ prevaricating ‘maybe a bit guilty’ plea of ‘extenuating circumstances’ concerning her client’s motivation and purpose in stashing hundreds of thousands of pounds in offshore tax havens and concealing cash bungs and bonuses via investments in racehorses and artworks.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Throwing embarrassment to the wind four winds in favour of self-preservation and making a blatant attempt to elicit the court’s empathy and compassion, Redneck now claims his ‘Rosie 47’ Happy Savers account in Monaco was set up covertly in his dog’s name not so much to blind-side HMRC out of taxable income levies but as a spot of ‘quantitative easing’ to finance a life-enhancing face lift cosmetic surgery procedure following the rupture of his PIP ‘Chubby Cheeks’ facial inserts, which resulted in seepage of a toxic cocktail of tyre inflator, silicon and Botox leaving him looking like Golem after a heavy night on the booze.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Presenting medical evidence to the court on behalf of the defence, Harley Street cosmetic surgery consultant Dr Fellattia van der Gamm confirmed the factual veracity of Redneck’s PIP inserts rupturing which apparently occurred through a self-harm habit of banging his head against the stands every time his team lost a match.&lt;br /&gt;The Spurs manager was initially advised to undergo the facial poly prosthese implant procedure following his 2003 eyebag prolapse – a sub-dermal collagen deficiency syndrome condition manifested and aggravated due his addiction to the traditional Cockney diet of suet puddings and jellied eels.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Taking the stand to speak in his own defence, Redneck informed the court “Look at me kisser an’ these bloodhound jowls. It’s so embarassin’ when I go down me local boozer an’ all the lads are callin’ me ‘old chipmunk features’ an’ sayin’ I’ve got eyes like pissholes in the snow. It’s me own fault fer havin’ the implants done on the cheap at Achmed’s Botox Clinic in Brighton – so that’s why I woz stashin’ a few bob in the Rosie 47 account in Monaco – ter pay fer a proper facelift job at Dr. Fellattia’s clinic.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely, the Crown Prosecution Service legal team, headed by Sir Dinsdale Spatchcock QC, later proceeded to raise the issue of why a string of ‘bungs’ paid to Redneck by the-then Pompey Poofters FC owner - Serbian zillionaire Milan Mangosteen – whose fortune was founded on the ever-popular bar snack – Pikey Pete’s Roast Swan Scratchings – were invested in collections of pre-Columbian and Ming dynasty Tupperware – and the premier works of such modern day art masters Andy Wormhole and Jackson Pillock – plus the clandestine ownership of championship racehorses ‘Limping Larry’ and ‘Tosspot’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The trial continues.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Are you of a mind to cheat HMRC at every opportunity? Does your dog have any secret offshore bank accounts? How about your cat? Is your art collection composed of old Masters or Poundland prints? How about racehorses – do you own shares in any dodgy donkeys?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Send your confession using the online reply form below and you could win one of HMRC’s Get Out of Jail Free cards – after our Renta-Thug collection bailiffs have paid you a visit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-5905034435070252881?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/5905034435070252881/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=5905034435070252881' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/5905034435070252881'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/5905034435070252881'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/spurs-boss-pleads-maybe-guilty.html' title='Spurs Boss Pleads ‘Maybe Guilty’'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-6022229964887563241</id><published>2012-01-26T07:41:00.004Z</published><updated>2012-01-26T07:59:13.459Z</updated><title type='text'>US Military Okays Murder of Civilians</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Justifiable Homicide’ enhanced bullshit edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The good ole US of A yesterday sent the Red Cross, Amnesty International and the Ox-Rat human rights and wrongs watchdogs into a collective state of convulsive apoplexy when a military court in California set the most scandalous and immoral precedent of the century concerning non-combatant Muslims in the Mid-East war zones - by sanctioning their gung-ho, trigger-happy psycho troops with the judicially-approved right to shoot first - then make excuses later – and all covered by a get out of jail free card.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The highly controversial decision by a Military Tribunal at Camp Bonkers stated that the US Marine, who admitted charges to his part in the cold-blooded slaughter of 24 unarmed Iraqi civilians in 2005, should face no time in detention for ‘spur-of-the-moment’ mistakes made during the heat of battle was, post-hearing, approved by General Billy Bob Warthog, CIC of the Marine Corps Forces Central Command.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The atrocious events that occurred in Iraq’s Haditha have been the subject of several official whitewash attempts and cover-ups, which unfortunately resulted in criminal charges eventually being filed against members of Psycho Company, 3rd Body Bag Battalion, 1st Marine Cannon Fodder Regiment – who were alleged to have gone on a homicidal rampage and carried out the killings as they were bored with watching porno on Sky’s Filth channel and guarding the Haditha Dam. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Marine Sgt Genghis ‘Pitbull’ McGnasher faced a maximum of three months imprisonment after admitting dereliction of duty and perjuriously claiming the civilian deaths occurred in the Operation Kill Every Fucker crackdown on the cottage industry IED factories in the area – which resulted in the massacre of women, children and elderly people - including a man in a wheelchair who was later identified as Old Achmed, a retired goat herder and not the notorious Al Qaeda bomber ‘Semtex’ Shaheed bin Ka-Boom.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;McGnasher was one of eight marines arrested over the killings, with the charges against five of the group being dropped or dismissed, and one acquitted on the grounds of diminished responsibility due suffering from pre-menstrual tension – with Sgt Sanick Dela Ratfink granted immunity in exchange for snitching on his fellow psychopaths and giving evidence to the court. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Military judge Lt Col Sheldon Scumberger informed one press hack from the Ethnic Cleansing Gazette that “My hands had been tied by the terms of the plea agreement that were ratified by the Pentagon - as everyone had grassed each other up – apart from Sgt McGnasher. But, Goddamn, what do these heathens expect when they go hiding their weapons of mass distraction so we can't find them and making us look dumb - - of course we’re gonna play rough.”&lt;br /&gt;“Hellfire, I don’t know what the big deal is all about - the victims would have all been dead six months down the road anyways from all the toxic depleted uranium dust poisoning them.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;One survivor of Operation Kill Every Fucker was Awis ibn Himar, a former wheelbarrow mechanic, who suffered minor bullet wounds and opined to a reporter from the Flimflam Gazette "I was expecting that the American judiciary would sentence these murderers to life in prison so they might be sodomised by their macho cellmates and suck cock until they choked and descended into Jahannum (Hell) to be the catamites of Iblis (the Devil) for all eternity.”&lt;br /&gt;“We expected the Kenyan Obama to appear on the telly to confess in front of the whole world the guilt of their soldiers in committing these crimes – and then the Great Satan America would show itself as democratic and fair."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, some chance of that happening. Ah well, Awis - that’s what Dante’s Ninth Circle of Hell is reserved for – real class-act scumbags.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Fuck the Great Satan and their ZioNazi New World Order.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-6022229964887563241?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/6022229964887563241/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=6022229964887563241' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6022229964887563241'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6022229964887563241'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/us-military-okays-murder-of-civilians.html' title='US Military Okays Murder of Civilians'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-190862256489215026</id><published>2012-01-25T07:29:00.003Z</published><updated>2012-01-25T07:36:41.700Z</updated><title type='text'>Zulu King Disses Darkie Fudgers</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ms Mingeeter Dildodo, the director of South Africa's Human Rights &amp; Wrongs Commission, today informed one press hack from the Homophobes Gazette they were investigating reports that the Zulu monarch of Bongawongaland, King Goodbye Chuckabutty, had breached diplomatic etiquette and the established rules of political correctness during one of his recent hate speeches by referring to male gays as a bunch of ‘shit-stabbing sodomites’ – and the worshippers of Sappho as lesbo rug-munchers who needed of a spot of corrective rape.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Zulu King was speaking to an audience of thousands of his perma-sun-tanned subjects at the 133rd anniversary of the Battle of Isandlwana - a famous 19th Century Zulu victory over British troops – stating for the media record “In de spirit of Shaka, we sure did kick some honky white ass dat day” – a comment dismissed by the British Foreign Office as simply “Oh well, one can’t educate pork – hence the best we can expect from a pig is a grunt.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;While South Africa's constitution specifically forbids discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation - homophobia is widespread, and next to jaywalking, shop-lifting and identity theft – a major national pastime – with members of the gay community often found gutted and strangled with their own intestines – and a large cassava root jammed up their back passage.  &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Western-educated monarch fittingly attended Oxford University’s 'Kings College' where he graduated summa cum laude in Assegai Chucking and earned a coveted ‘Blue’ for Crocodile Wrestling and won the coveted Golden Coconut Award – before returning to rule South Africa’s Bongawongaland with a homophobic iron fist – copy-catting his role models Robert Rhubarbie in the Marxist Utopia of Zimbabwe and Katgotchatongue Musaveni, the batshit bonkers president of Uganda – both of whom have declared playing the beast with two backs a capital offence – along with the dingbat rulers of Malawi, Wormhole Jaffacake - and Kenya’s Twatcha N’kunta.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As to the Zulu King’s homophobic remarks, he rebuked media reporters with his stock response of “Dese people dey am an abomination – dat’s wot de Bible tells us when it condemns men stickin’ dere willy up de bum of another man. St Paul of Tarsus, he done rebuke de unnatural relations of de ‘arsenokoitēs’. Jest ya read de Leviticus 18 an’ 20 wot puts a blanket prohibition on men shaggin’ each other.”&lt;br /&gt;“What is wrong wid dese guys dat dey don’t like pussy? Den ya got de problem wid de lesbians wot is possessed wid dese shameful lusts an’ seems ta like pussy too much when dey meant ta be lookin’ after cock – cos lookin’ after pussy is de man’s job.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;King Chuckabutty, a devout Roman Catholic since being converted away from the evils of pagan worship and cannibalism last year, has been the target of severe censure from foreign human rights and feminist groups around the globe due his predilection for paedophilia in maintaining a polygamous harem of hundreds of pubescent ‘wives and concubines’ - criticism of which in the past has met with the caustic and vulgar rejoinder of “Hey, if dey is old enough ta bleed den dey is old enough ta butcher!”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-190862256489215026?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/190862256489215026/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=190862256489215026' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/190862256489215026'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/190862256489215026'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/zulu-king-disses-darkie-fudgers.html' title='Zulu King Disses Darkie Fudgers'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-2455845699525806569</id><published>2012-01-25T07:20:00.004Z</published><updated>2012-01-25T09:47:03.338Z</updated><title type='text'>UK Debt Passes 1 Zillion Quid Mark</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ms Candida Mingerot, the UK Treasury’s media secretary, yesterday announced to a gaggle of highly amused press hacks that the UK’s national debt has now passed the one trillion pounds 'beyond a joke' mark – a figure referred to by banksters as ‘lots and lots of money’ – but that in her unqualified opinion this factor simply served to emphasise the incompetence of New Labour’s successive dynamic duo of ‘Scottish’ Chancellors of the Exchequer - Gordon Brown and Alastair Darling – and the unsustainable level of spending they racked up during 13 years of playing Russian roulette with the national economy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely, this horrifying debt figure besides, the incumbent Tory Chancellor George Osborne claims financial initiatives are still on course to hit his borrowing target for the financial year of a mere £127 billion quid. Que? WTF!? How fucking much? No wonder Britain’s ‘Broken’ with a large capital B - and we’re worried about a bit of personal credit card debt from the Christmas spend or running up a £50 nicker overdraft at the bank.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Why the fuck does Osborne need to borrow £127 billion quid, we’d like to know, considering every expense and outgoing in the country’s been slashed – apart from his jugular - yet.&lt;br /&gt;So we’re bollocks deep in a Debtocracy quagmire. No problems - all too easy to solve if we’re determined to get jingoistic about this. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;First off we need to stop kissing the Great Satan’s arse and letting the Rothshite crime syndicate and Tel Aviv set the UK’s foreign policy agenda – and hence defer from getting involved in further overseas military misadventures.&lt;br /&gt;Next on the list, call a halt to handing out the taxpayers’ cash to scrounging Third World dumps – especially those whose ruling scumbag oligarchs have more money than Croesus. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;If Alex ‘Three Chins’ Salmond and his Scottish SNP-dominated Parliament want independence, it’s all easy-peasy, no referendum required – just fuck off and shut the gates on Hadrian’s Wall as you pass Go. Bye-bye British Navy bases and shipyard orders – and the BBC – and the NHS – and the Royal Mail. Plus stick the Arbroath ‘smokies’ and the bagpipes.&lt;br /&gt;Oh, and don’t forget the multi-billions your Royal Bank of Scumland owes the ‘English’ taxpayers’ purse.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Then put a stop to paying welfare payments out to EUSSR migrant scroungers – and call a referendum – not a repeat of Posh Dave Scameron’s disingenuous promised ‘Never-Endum’ - on continued EUSSR membership and let’s shitcan our connections with the kleptocracy in Brussels immediately – if not sooner – and hoof out all the European minimum wage donkeys, pseudo-plumbers and swan-roasting Albanian pikeys - and free up the UK’s job market again. Hmmm, keeping Brussels’ sticky fingers out of the taxpayers’ coffers will soon up the ante.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As Posh Dave Scameron’s ‘Big Society’ volunteer project has as much chance of success as shoving butter up a porcupine’s arse with a red hot knitting needle as it doesn’t pay anything – and the Department of Works and Pensions scheme to make it mandatory for all unemployed peasants cursed with the Jobcentre’s Stage 4 stigmata to take an NVQ1 Chartered Skip Scavvy course is likewise doomed to failure – why the fuck don’t we toss political correctness to the four winds and hoof out all the European minimum wage donkeys and pseudo-plumbers and swan-roasting Albanian pikeys with their forged qualifications from the University of Make Believe - and free up the UK’s job market again.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Next on this drastic agenda – re-industrialise and start self-financing British skills and manufacturing. Outlaw ‘outsourcing’; railroad a bill through Parliament disenfranchising all ‘Quangos’ – then present the House of Conmans MPs with a salary cut. If the unemployed are supposed to survive on £60-odd quid a week and pensioners on £102 quid then they can take a cut in their £64,766 nicker per annum – plus expenses.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, how about those for a set of instant fiscal reforms? And all without a qualification in economics - much the same as the clots who got Britain into this mess in the first place – Thatcher, Major, Bliar and Scameron.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Well at least Britain’s not as fucked up as the good ole U.S. of A with its $16 trillion dollar overdraft. Who fancies paying the interest on that one? Jesus, God rest His soul, had the right idea with the usurious money lenders – shut the shifty Shylocks’ operations right down.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-2455845699525806569?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/2455845699525806569/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=2455845699525806569' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2455845699525806569'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2455845699525806569'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/uk-debt-passes-1-zillion-quid-mark.html' title='UK Debt Passes 1 Zillion Quid Mark'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-192401559713791583</id><published>2012-01-24T07:23:00.008Z</published><updated>2012-01-24T11:03:24.196Z</updated><title type='text'>Iran Set Up for False Flag Patsy Scam</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Leon ‘Noser’ Vendetta, the US Secretary of Defence, yesterday announced to White House press hacks that the oldest and most decrepit aircraft carrier in the known Universe, the USS Enterprise CVA(N)-65 – which also has the dubious distinction of being the first of the US 24/7 war-ready nuclear-powered carrier fleet ever to be launched - a very long time ago - is now heading for the Persian Gulf on a final voyage - to send a hostile and provocative ‘Mexican stand-off’ message to Tehran.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Secretary Vendetta informed the media “The reason we’re dispatching the Enterprise hinges on the fact that it’s due to be scrapped next year, so if Iran’s Republican Guard crazies go off half-cocked and sink it with one of their Soviet Sunburst ASCM missiles and block the Straits of Hormuz, then the Pentagon and Tel Aviv will have an excuse to bomb the shit outa the heathen-infested dump and install a Christian government that don’t object to eating pork scratchings and hot dogs. Plus it’ll save us all the expense of decommissioning the eight on-board reactors – and we’ll be able to claim the insurance money.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ouch! Anybody smell a potential US PNAC / Foreign Policy Initiative ‘New Pearl Harbour’ replay? Another 9/11? Another USS Maine getting scuttled in Havana harbour in 1898 with an explosive charge in the bilges to kick start the war against the Spanish? Another USS Cole / Port of Aden style suicide attack to demonise all Muslims as Jolly Jihad terrorist fanatics? Yet another Gulf of Tonkin Incident? Or another FBI-orchestrated Alfred P. Murrah Building bombing, perhaps? Another JFK magic bullet assassination? Another Mossad-planted micro-nuke in the drain outside the Sari Club in Bali to flash-fry a bunch of Aussie tourists and give Canberra an excuse to join the war on terror?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;These people are so transparent with their sore thumb pantomime fiascos – they’re all dead give-aways due the loose-lipped, boastacious Bilderberg Group - and US and Israeli intelligence services - having more fucking leaks than Mother O’Reilly’s colander. They’d be better off with Wiley T. Coyote in charge of their false flag operations – or Wallace and Gromit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Well, any fucker and their dog with a couple of brain cells still capable of telemetry can see that the Great Satan and Israel – along with their European Rothshite crime syndicate stooges Sarkozy, Merkel and Scameron - are going flat out like a lizard drinking to force the Tehran government into a corner and instigate a violent response. Frozen bank accounts and sanctions on anything and everything – plus the EUSSR and US oil embargo – all destined to have little effect.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Do these New World Order think tank beardies and anoraks, all kitted out with more degrees than a thermometer – and less common sense than a tortoise - burning the midnight oil while dreaming this bullshit up never consider the fact that their target nations aren’t exactly stupid and have foreseen – and hence prepared – to deal with such eventualities?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hence little wonder that Flatbrokes, Broken Britain’s ubiquitous High Street betting shop chain, are giving top odds that the shit’s going to hit the fan before Easter – with either the US and Israel opting for a ‘who gives a fuck’ pre-emptive first strike on Iran’s nuclear facilities – or - and this being the odd-on favourite – the same pair of ZioNazi war-mongering psychos pulling another of their false flag attacks on themselves and then pointing the fickle finger of fate straight back at Tehran as the fall guy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Anyone want to guess at how many subs the Israelis have in the Arabian Sea / Gulf of Oman / Persian Gulf right now? Three Type 800 Dolphin class diesel-electric units supplied by their good friends at Howaldtswerke-Deutsche Werft AG in Krautland – specifically the Dolphin, Leviathan and Tekumah.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Each sub’ is armed with 6 x 533 mm tubes designed for torpedoes or Harpoon missiles, and 4 x 650 mm torpedo tubes which can deploy mines, nuclear tipped cruise missiles, or swimmer delivery vehicles.&lt;br /&gt;The Atlas Elektronik DM2A3 torpedoes are wire-guided active homing and deliver a 260 kilo warhead at a speed of 35 knots to a target over 13 klicks away – ideal for work in the Persian Gulf and hitting a barn door-sized 94,000 ton carrier broadsides. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, bearing in mind that the Israelis have an infamous notoriety as a belligerent mongrel race with a genetic predisposition to hostility - (just read the Bible's Old Testament record) - and a well-known facility as being a bunch of greedy Khazar bastards given to stealing the lands of others (Palestine) – and the motto of their sneaky bastard Mossad is ‘By stealth we do War’ – (then, just like 9/11 blame some other hapless hi-fiving cunt – so typical of their entire history) – who’s up for a few bucks wager that old Admiral Billy Bob Redneck commanding the star-crossed USS Enterprise cops a salvo of Klingon torpedoes or a sneak Harpoon missile attack one dark moonless night soon – launched by the dreaded Mohammed al Patsy and Shaheed al Ka-Boom from their terrorist base on the Planet Q’onos?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh yes, right on – and a pity the matelots on board haven’t realised their intended fate yet – reluctant martyrs to the cause of a false flag op’ to be broadcast and promulgated out of all proportion by a compliant Zionist-owned media barrage of black propaganda – just like Saddam Hussein’s weapons of mass distraction - otherwise they’d rename the obsolete carrier the ‘USS Sacrificial Lamb’ – then do the right thing - and mutiny. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And what for Iran? Nada – unlike the Great Satan and Israel, she’s comfortable and satisfied within her own sovereign, territorial boundaries – while the aggressors – the Western warmongers - thirst for her natural resources and strategic global positioning.&lt;br /&gt;Alas, even gifted with the facility of 20/20 hindsight to reflect on the empires of history and their eventual self-consuming failures, this insane neo-colonial ZioNazi expansionism knows no limits – yet! &lt;br /&gt;As the Cheshire Cat confided to Alice “We’re all mad here”.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To wit, let the lunacy run its fatally flawed course, for a grand naval engagement is always a sure boost for the undertaker and prosthetics industries – plus serves to keep the fish fed and fat.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Hmmm, USS Enterprise besides, what else in the US / Israeli / European-NATO naval ensemble might be in line for a false flag hit?&lt;br /&gt;We have the USS Carl Vinson (carrier), USS Bunker Hill (cruiser) and the USS Halsey (destroyer) – all three going round in ever-decreasing circles out in the Gulf of Oman. &lt;br /&gt;Moored in Bahrain, from the US Fifth Fleet we have the USS Abe Lincoln (carrier), USS Cape St George (cruiser), plus the USS Sterett and USS Momset (both destroyers). &lt;br /&gt;From Broken Britain’s ‘Senior Service’ we have sailing round the Gulf, courtesy of Posh Dave Scameron, the HMS Argyll and HMS Somerset (both frigates), HMS Ramsey (mine hunter), HMS Lyme Bay (landing vessel) and HMS Echo (an aptly-named survey ship).&lt;br /&gt;Last but not least the French navy’s contribution – a newly launched Godermiche class frigate named in honour of the diminutive President Sarkozy – the ‘La Petit Merde’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Question is – how efficiently are the Coalition of the Aggressors naval Phalanx and Aegis BMD interceptor systems going to cope against Iranian Sunburn and Sunburst missiles? All bets are off on that one. Ah well, sunken ships make great foundations for coral reefs – one thing the Gulf can always do with a few more of.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-192401559713791583?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/192401559713791583/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=192401559713791583' title='1 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/192401559713791583'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/192401559713791583'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/iran-set-up-for-false-flag-patsy-scam.html' title='Iran Set Up for False Flag Patsy Scam'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-1564536768692562527</id><published>2012-01-23T07:29:00.011Z</published><updated>2012-01-23T09:55:15.706Z</updated><title type='text'>UK Plod Squad Target Anarchists</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The City of Westminster Plod Squad’s ‘risk averse’ Counter Terrorist Focus team is on the lookout for further recruits to join their battalion-strength crew of low life grassers and snitches for Project Griffin – the undercover operation currently tasked to spy and report on the activities of suspected socio-political discontent members of Broken Britain’s disadvantaged demographic.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The scope of Project Griffin has its parameters set to include any fucker or their dog suspected to be labouring away with diligence and malice aforethought across the length and breadth of our once-sceptred isle, to undermine the establishe Monarchical elitist order and herald in an age of unparalleled anarchy – as instanced last summer during the Tottenham riots – a phenomenon being further manifested at a geometric rate by the burgeoning ranks of the 99% - Occupy groups affected by this current pandemic outbreak of Oppositional Defiance Disorder that owes its origins to the UK’s economic woes, the ‘recession’ and decades of government ineptitude. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Project Griffin’s published fliers bear the dire warning message that "Anarchism is a political philosophy which considers the state undesirable, unnecessary, and harmful, and instead promotes a non-conformist society bent on acts of civil disobedience. All information relating to noxious anarchists should be reported to the nearest Plod Squad station or any of your local neighbourhood Community Enforcement Officers at the Renta-Moron Agency."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Well, what to do indeed when Posh Dave Scameron’s Libservative Coalition and his Millionaire’s Cabinet are out to stereotype anyone who disagrees with their appalling record of mismanagement – or dares mention broken election manifesto pledges promising a one-off ‘in or out’ EUSSR membership referendum - or questions the integrity of the Tory Friends of Israel Club’s intentions by modifying our International Arrest Warrant rulings to allow kikester war criminals to visit Britain without fear of being apprehended for their sins of human rights abuse against the Palestinian populations of the Gaza Strip - or simply has the audacity to complain over the epidemic of potholes infesting our road system – or the fact economic migrants can claim welfare benefits and steal the jobs of the UK’s born and bred unemployed peasant classes.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To wit, any and all who fall under into the above categories will henceforth be branded as a budding anti-Christ preaching the gospel of insidious Anarchy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely, when our nation’s affairs have been, and continue to be, run so badly we’ve devolved from being the founders of the Industrial Revolution ruling an Empire on which the sun never set to become a Debtocracy under the thumb of the IMF’s usurious Shylock banksters and the EUSSR kleptocrats in Brussels - and the Tory-dominated coalition government’s poll figures have plummeted following the calamitous rupture of PM Scameron’s PIP 'credibility' implant - then it’s little wonder the common herd get pissed off. Plus the ruling elites know it too – hence their justified paranoia that such depressed socio-economic conditions might just kick start rebellious, head-rolling repeats of 1789 and 1917 before 2012 is over and done with.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The circulation of the Counter Terrorist Focus team’s briefing missive has righteously pissed off a legion of the country’s leading patriots, loyal to the statutes of Magna Carta, who consider themselves unfairly criminalised for holding a set of perfectly valid political beliefs – that the government sucks – even if they unfortunately don’t quite gel with Tory Party policy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Bazzer ‘Pitbull’ McGnasher, editor of the Anarchy Gazette, complained “Wot the fuck they at, eh – warnin’ people that we’re a bunch of nutters on the same flyer wot’s about Muslim terrorists wiv explodin’ shoes and jockey shorts?”&lt;br /&gt;“This is typical of the effin’ Tories getting’ their elitist arses back inter Downin’ Street – the place where the bullshit never sleeps – wiv their New World Order scam the primary item on the agenda. Don’t forget, the jackboot’s first steps on the path ter fascism are always tip-toe soft.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“But wot can we expect in this economic environment when the whole country’s goin’ tits up in a grand spectacular Busby Berkeley fashion an’ the government’s usin’ Kafkaesque an’ Orwellian Big Brother ‘Thought Crime’  brandin’ ter criminalise ideas it deems ter be dangerous ter its own effin’ survival.” &lt;br /&gt;“We’ve already got these stop an’ search orders under Section 60 of the Criminal Justice Order Act of 1994 wot allows searches wivout reasonable suspicion.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Then yer got the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act – on top of the effin’ Police Reform &amp; Social Responsibility Act 2011 – wot’s all backed up wiv Section 19 of the Police and Criminal Evidence Act wot allows the plods ter seize any item they reckon might contains evidence in relation to an offence – like yer ‘Scameron Sucks’ protest poster.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“So wot’s gonna be next on the list, I asks yer? Are they gonna copy wot the Yanks have done an’ class us all as domestic terrorists? Are the Tories gonna push through an Enemy Expatriation Act – an’ a Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act – an’ a  National Defense Authorization Act – wot is actually an ‘Indefinite Detention Act’?”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“It’s all a crock of shit cos the Plods are supposed ter work under the convention on human rights wot disallows discrimination against people cos their political beliefs are at odds wiv the government’s deluded ideas. Yeah, I know, an’ pigs might fly too.”&lt;br /&gt;“Now Scameron’s coalition are boostin’ the ranks of these Community Enforcement Officers wot’s just a bunch of uniformed fetishists wiv an officious bent fer intimidatin’ them lesser mortals wot comprises the ranks of the peasant classes an’ piss on our self-esteem an’ personal dignity – an’ that’s us poor fuckers – the lowly drawers of water an’ hewers of firewood.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Trust me, these PCSO an’ CEO scumbags, devoid of any realistic Plod Squad trainin’, are all limited by their moronic cultural prejudices cos of bein’ reared on a diet of red top gutter press tabloids an’ TV media propaganda.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Do you live in an anarchist-infested community? Are there any anarchists operating in your area? How about black Muslim anarchists with dreadlocks and a nihilistic bent? What kind of anti-establishment graffiti gets sprayed in bus shelters and on walls in your neighbourhood? &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Send your comments to the Counter Terrorist Focus team using the online Snitch &amp; Grassers form below and you could win a year’s membership of the all-new Libservative Coalition Party.&lt;br /&gt;A selection of your comments may be published, displaying your name and location, so some feral Bolshie anarchist types can come round and lob a petrol bomb through your front window.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day: So, the hypocrisy of Posh Dave Scameron’s ‘Big Society’ concept besides, obviously Project Griffin stands as testament that there will be no magnanimous embrace for members of the national community who disagree with government policy or have the temerity to think for themselves and express outrage at being shafted by their own elected Parliament. To wit, fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-1564536768692562527?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/1564536768692562527/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=1564536768692562527' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1564536768692562527'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1564536768692562527'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/uk-plod-squad-target-anarchists.html' title='UK Plod Squad Target Anarchists'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-4518554500855208104</id><published>2012-01-22T09:09:00.005Z</published><updated>2012-01-22T11:25:40.570Z</updated><title type='text'>Israeli ZioNazis Redefine ‘Apartheid’</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The gospel according to a report just released by the international human rights and wrongs monitor Kunt-Watch has, with righteous damnation aforethought, dealt a crippling blow to Israel’s pretence of being the Mid-East’s ‘showcase of democracy’ by condemning Bobo Nuttyahoo’s Knesset government and the IDF military for their despicable treatment of the usurped and marginalised Palestinian populations of the rapidly diminishing occupied West Bank and isolated Gaza Strip – jointly besieged behind 30-foot high Great Apartheid Walls inside the biggest Nazi style racist concentration camps on the planet that while their insidious checkpoints are manned by the ranks of the IDF’s homicidal storm troopers only lack the customary Arbeit Macht Frei signs over the gates. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The director of the Vienna-based Kunt-Watch charity, Herr Genghis Yidstamper, informed one press hack from the War Crimes Gazette that “Not only are the Palestinians in the occupied West Bank harassed at every turn and discriminated against via government regulations enforced with a crude manner and violence by the IDF troops and corrupt police but also by the illegal kikester settlers who are cutting down their orchards and poisoning wells and stealing their lands – under the protection of the military.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Perhaps the Germans taught them too well, for all the crimes they claim were visited on them by Hitler’s thugs during what their propaganda – their fantasy ‘hasbara’ - terms the Holohoax, and with the unqualified arrogance so typical of the kikesters they are now inflicting on the dispossessed Palestinians a slow-cook genocide and tip-toe ethnic cleansing policy.” &lt;br /&gt;“They have amnesia and a total absence of moral conscience that will one day soon come back and bite them squarely in the arse for their ignoring UN resolutions and treating the rules of polite society and statutes of international law like a doormat – like a toilet in fact. Their brazen hubris – this ‘chutzpah’ of their culture – it is despicable this contempt they have for those they brand as ‘goyim’.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“The kikester-dominated media continually promote this rhetoric versus reality flawed narrative – this lie that their people are more cultured and smarter than the Gentiles – the unwashed masses – ‘the goyim’ as these racist scumbags refer to non-Jews – and even the likes of Moroccan and Ethiopian Jews – these Khazar-Ashkenazi impostor shifty Shylocks of convenience – the scum of the Rothshite-Baboon crime syndicate.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“We are faced with their disingenuous propaganda dynamic - spouted in the face of fact - that alludes to their purported ‘Perfect Society’ of Israel. Alas, what hope is there for any peaceful resolution and the stolen lands ever being returned to the Palestinians who lost all in the 1948 Yawm an-Nakbah – the Day of the Catastrophe – the start of the Palestinian Holocaust – when the Israeli terrorists – the Haganah and Stern Gang and Irgun – drove them out in a mad dog Manifest Destiny massacre and established the rogue apartheid state of Israel on stolen land.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“So these yidsters or kikesters – these yid and kike gangsters - maintain their ideological and cultural programming – the delusion that they are God’s Chosen People – the Children of the Covenant – and ignore the fact that the Palestinians are the true Semite owners of the Holy Land – Palestine – not these Khazar-Ashkenazi impostors – these Jews of convenience installed and financed by the Rothshite-Sassoon crime syndicate – and the hapless goyim taxpayers of the Great Satan.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Now the world is starting to scrutinise the human rights abuses committed by a belligerent Israel - and the privations of the Palestinians under their fascist jackboot. People are aware that the Israeli government have imposed on the Palestinians a harsher regime of apartheid than ever the Boer whites did upon the blacks of South Africa – and this is evidenced by the success of the global Boycotts, Divestment and Sanctions campaign against Israeli goods.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The plight of the Palestinian peoples – in both the occupied West Bank and Gaza Strip enclave is bringing their dispossessed situation to a critical mass state of being at a geometric rate - ready to erupt in a cataclysmic chain reaction proportionate to the sum total of past privations and sufferings under the dictatorial misrule of the nutty Knesset’s despots and their trigger-happy tosspot IDF military goons. Roll on the Third Intifada.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. To misquote the French ‘Age of Enlightenment’ philosopher Diderot: There exists now a maxim agreed between Christians and Muslims, and too Jews of conscience, that there will never be any form of peace for the dispossessed Palestinians or the Holy Land until the final Zionist usurper is strangled with the disembowelled entrails of the last Rothshite-Baboon bankster crime syndicate’s military-industrial scumbag.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a ZioNazi-infested area and may contain traces of apartheid, lunacy and galloping racism.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-4518554500855208104?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/4518554500855208104/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=4518554500855208104' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4518554500855208104'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4518554500855208104'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/israeli-zionazis-redefine-apartheid.html' title='Israeli ZioNazis Redefine ‘Apartheid’'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-6543644290193385411</id><published>2012-01-21T08:50:00.005Z</published><updated>2012-01-21T09:50:08.268Z</updated><title type='text'>UK: Benefit Scrounger’s Vacation Choice</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A joint report just released by the Ministry for Wasting Time &amp; Money, researched and compiled in collusion with Parliament’s fact finding Duck Egg Commission, finally reveals officially what the common herd have known for years - that Broken Britain is the number one destination of choice for the entire global spectrum of Empire’s Day-qualified socio-economic refugees, penniless political asylum seekers, migrant scroungers, foreign rip-off gangs and a generalised bunch of vacationing benefit tourists from the other poverty-stricken 26 EUSSR member states.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;According to the report’s damning gospel, droves of swan roasting pikeys and a legion of other manky migrants who are unable to draw sod all in the way of welfare payments in their own Third World shitholes can turn up in the UK and - thanks to the past New Labour government policy and stupid EUSSR legislation - start claiming unemployment, housing and incapacity benefit from day one – plus sign up for free NHS medical treatment – get a nice fresh kidney transplant then sod off back home to ‘Cadgerstan’ and resell it for a few thousand bucks.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Through the analysis of actuarial data the detailed demographic report lays bare the appalling facts that as of December 2011 there are 371,000 foreign-born claimants raking in Jobseekers Allowance and other unemployment-related benefits out of a total 5.5 million recipients. Of these, 258,000 were from outside the European Economic Area – with over 72,000 from Somalia alone – all registered on the Jobcentre’s central data banks as actively searching for work in the ‘Piracy-Shipping’ / ‘Hostage Ransom’ industries. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In-depth analysis shows that the highest number of migrants on benefits originally came from Pakiland and India - with Iraq also featuring prominently after Tony Bliar sanctioned the illegal invasion and destruction of the nation’s infrastructure in 2003. Additionally, EUSSR member states were among the Top 20 scroungers – which included Poland, Ireland, France, Italy – and grotty Greece – all of whom submitted claims for the £200 quid Winter Fuel Allowance last December on behalf of their grandmothers – along with state pension and child benefit – and any other handouts that might be going.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Section 15A-03 of the controversial 36,000 page report exposes an entire smorgasbord of shady practices being undertaken by dodgy claimants to ‘up the ante’ of their benefit entitlements.&lt;br /&gt;While Jobseekers’ Allowance is currently paid at a top rate of £67.50 quid a week, incapacity benefit is worth up to £94.25 – hence one gang of Polacks in Leeds who had no great commercial success with impersonating plumbers and electricians resorted to smashing each others knee caps with a claw hammer to qualify for the £94 nicker rate disability payments – plus a free pair of NHS crutches. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Further to the afore-mentioned abuses and the impact on the welfare system caused by legions of foreign scroungers in the UK on their personalised ‘do or die’ mooching missions, ministers are concerned with the number of jobs being snatched up by unqualified migrants. &lt;br /&gt;Official figures show that up to 90 percent of new jobs created in Britain over the past two years have gone to foreign workers while levels of unemployment for redundancy-hit native born Anglo-Saxon Brit’s rose at a disproportionate, geometric rate. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely the Libservative Coalition government believes that improving the education and training of Britons, particularly the younger generation, is the key to ensuring that they can compete for jobs against the influx of begging gits and migrants kitted out with sheaves of forged skill proficiency certificates and university degrees – if an employment climate ever so manifests where jobs once again grow on trees.&lt;br /&gt;However, with the Bank of England mandated interest rate bogged down at a paltry 0:5% and this depression stretching its reach far over the future’s horizon then don’t hold your breath for too long.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Are you British-born and unemployed, over 16 years of age but under 65? Sign up now for a free Department of Works &amp; Pensions NVQ1 course on Advanced Welfare Benefit Fraud and put yourself in a better position to compete with the hordes of foreign scroungers already milking the system dry. Like the Lotto advert says - "You've got to be in to win!"&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-6543644290193385411?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/6543644290193385411/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=6543644290193385411' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6543644290193385411'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6543644290193385411'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/uk-benefit-scroungers-vacation-choice.html' title='UK: Benefit Scrounger’s Vacation Choice'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-1189507410521078865</id><published>2012-01-21T08:10:00.002Z</published><updated>2012-01-21T08:20:11.222Z</updated><title type='text'>Lib-Dum MEP Gives ‘Nepotism’ a Bad Name</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Diana Wallis, the power-hungry Librarian-Dummercrat MEP for Yorkshire and the Bumber is currently copping for shedloads of criticism from all quarters of the socio-political spectrum following the bombshell announcement of her resignation from the Brussels-based EUSSR post – and the improbity of her simoniacal ‘let’s keep it in the family’ intention of automatically sliding her husband, Stewie ‘Knobhead’ Arnold, into the vacated position with nary a vote of public confidence nor approval being cast.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Apparently Wallis – described by friends and political associates alike as a person whose ego far surpasses her limited intellect - spit the dummy in true ‘nobody loves me’ tantrum fashion following her failed bid earlier this week to win the presidency of the European Parliament - losing out to the popular German Pancake Tuesday Adventist Party candidate Fellattia van der Gamm.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Former EUSSR minister and Rotherham Labour MP Denis McScrote opined to one press hack from the Simony Gazette "By any standard of nepotism it is unacceptable that as one Lib-Dum MEP flounces out of the European Parliament because she got a huff on with this failed ego trip bid to get her pathetic arse elected to the Presidency of the European Parliament that she is automatically replaced by her own tosspot of a husband.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Alas, it always presents a problem when others fail to regard you with the same level of fawning worship as does the vanity mirror – but this ‘his and hers’ seats for lucrative MEP slots makes a mockery of Yorkshire's right to elect an MEP of their own choice – and the ball’s now in the court of the Lib-Dum leader – the incumbent Deputy Prime Minister Mick Clogg - to clear up this shameful mess of nepotistic pottage.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Speaking in her own defence on Sky One’s ‘Fiddling Twats Hour’ - and denying rumours she had redefined the meaning of Nepotism with a large capital N - Wallis related that her bid for the EUSSR Presidency had been for reasons she deeply believed in – specifically the opportunity for self-aggrandisement and ego-massaging – plus the chance to feather her own retirement nest – but now her nose had been pushed out of joint she was stepping down to seek treatment for her chronic halitosis which she personally blamed for rejection in the Presidential post bid.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dinsdale Spatchcock, the UK Independence Party MEP for Yorkshire and the Bumber, interviewed by the Daily Shitraker, stated that “Wallis is yet another example of menopausal maniacs in a position of political power – just like Angela Merkel. The very concept of her useless husband taking over her MEP seat is a working definition of nepotism – and further, the whole arrangement stinks of graft and corruption.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“It’s bad enough she employs hubby - who’s a right bellend to start with - as a Parliamentary Assistant – yet another cushy ‘jobs for the boys’ position as her official gopher - running errands, going to the chippy and put the lotto on – and all paid for out of the public purse. Stewie was a former pothole inspector with the Bumber Council Highways Department until he was forced to resign and seek treatment due his self-destructive addiction to asphalt patch sniffing - and now Diana claims he can assume her seat in the European Parliament via succession by cognation or hereditary right. That’s a dodgy equation we don’t need – representation by a bloke that mainlines on Tarmac. Really, something definitely stinks in Denmark, and it isn’t Hamlet’s socks.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“So, we’re left to speculate on what the egocentric bitch’s next move will be – take a page out of the Roman Catholic Church’s moral turpitude handbook and get into the simony market – and start flogging off benefices and indulgences on Amazon and e-Bay?”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Within the Oxford English Dictionary’s indexed lexicon of 750,000-plus words there is none that accurately describes Diana Wallis - however it has been unanimously agreed by a conclave of Lib-Dum Party members and MEPs that the word CUNT comes pretty close.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-1189507410521078865?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/1189507410521078865/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=1189507410521078865' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1189507410521078865'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1189507410521078865'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/lib-dum-mep-gives-nepotism-bad-name.html' title='Lib-Dum MEP Gives ‘Nepotism’ a Bad Name'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-420722564736178883</id><published>2012-01-20T07:08:00.004Z</published><updated>2012-01-20T07:22:54.234Z</updated><title type='text'>UK Government Kibosh Torture Inquiry</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A controversial high octane inquiry into allegations of wrongdoing by the UK's security services is to be shit-canned due the increasing exposure of the government and the MI5 / MI6 I-Spy institutions to international condemnation and prosecution for their collective sins and destined to be replaced with a decaffeinated review undertaken by the Met’s Plod Squad Authority under the chairmanship of Commissioner Genghis ‘Pitbull’ McGnasher.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Justice Secretary Ken ‘Flipper’ Clarke, founder of the pro-Conservative Rushcliffe Halitosis Society, informed one press hack from the Coverups Gazette that the inquiry into the alleged ‘mistreatment’ of political prisoners and suspected terrorist detainees (a euphemistic term for ‘human rights abuses’ and ‘torture’) could not continue as the evidence of culpability was unfairly stacked against the guilty parties involved.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Detainee Inquiry, composed of retired High Court judge the Rt. Hon. Armitage Shanks, Sir Dinsdale Spatchcock QC, and Mrs Chlamydia Ffinch-Gargoyle was launched by PM Posh Dave Scameron in July 2010 to investigate allegations that MI5 and MI6 had been up to their usual brand of mischief by aiding and abetting the CIA with the rendition and ill-treatment of Muslim terrorism suspects - specifically Mohammed bin Patsy and his cohorts - in the wake of Mossad’s infamous false flag attacks on the World Trade Centre towers and the Pentagon on September 11th 2001. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;When Scameron announced to the House of Conmans assembly that he intended to launch a fully independent inquiry into the top secret shenanigans of MI5 / MI6 – raising bouts of raucous laughter and hoots of disbelief from amused MPs - he stated for the Hansard record at the time that to ignore the claims of wrongdoing would simply serve to confirm the security services’ reputation of being fast, cheap and out of control as actual fact.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In response to Ken Clarke’s announcement that the Detainee Inquiry was to be scrapped and a Met Plod Squad Authority investigation take over the work, Amnesty International’s director Norma Duckfat yesterday opined to the media&lt;br /&gt;“Fer fuck’s sake, here we go again. Scotland Yard took three effin’ years over lookin’ into the cases of Guantanamo Bay detainees – so how long is it gonna take them to fabricate a convincin’ cover-up of Vauxhall Cross’s litany of crimes against humanity?”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“The one toppin’ their list should be the case of Abdel Hakim Bellendi, a Turkish wheelbarrow mechanic and practicing Coptic Christian who was mistaken for Al Qaeda’s chief bomb maker, Shaheed al Ka-Boom and got his sad arse snatched off the street in Bangkok while he was on his holidays an’ shoved on an extraordinary rendition flight to Tripoli by a joint CIA and MI6 operation.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Now that incident should definitely get a mention in the big black Naughty Book as they were helpin’ Colonel Gaddafi round up his enemies – before he ended up in the number one spot of the Hit Parade himself.”&lt;br /&gt;“Mr Bellendi claims British intelligence operatives in Libya usually called in to see him twice a week – normally just  flying visits to rip a couple of his fingernails out and give him a good kicking while demanding to know the whereabouts of the Al Qaeda hierarchy.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Bellendi was held for a year-and-a-half in a cell with no room service, no internet access or facilities to order a take-out, and the only time he was able to have a bath and get a cold drink of water was during the daily water boarding sessions. Yes, eighteen months he was there getting the shit kicked out of him before some bright spark from the ‘intelligence’ services cottoned on to the fact he wasn’t an Arab or an Afghan – or a Muslim – or a muhijadeen terrorist.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Things could have turned out a lot worse for Mr Bellendi – especially if he’d been mistaken for a Brazilian electrician.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-420722564736178883?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/420722564736178883/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=420722564736178883' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/420722564736178883'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/420722564736178883'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/uk-government-kibosh-torture-inquiry.html' title='UK Government Kibosh Torture Inquiry'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-2557397590673732343</id><published>2012-01-19T07:09:00.005Z</published><updated>2012-01-19T08:31:44.050Z</updated><title type='text'>Manky Mossad Targets Boycott Campaigners</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A volunteer organizer with the pro-Palestinian ‘Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions’ (BDS) campaign’s French wing, Mlle. Sapphie Godermiche, was sorting the mail last week in their Paris office and opened one envelope containing a sheaf of death threats written in both gutter Arabic and schoolboy French – and coated with a noxious white powder.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Being alarmed by the incident, especially the fact that the powder glowed in the dark, Mlle Godermiche immediately proceeded to a neighbouring medical clinic. The duty doctor – on noticing his patient was bleeding profusely from her ears, nose and gums – and weeping tears of blood as she watched her hair fall out in clumps while listening to the hospital’s Geiger counter clicking away at a ‘Flight of the Bumblebee’ tempo - ordered her immediate quarantine – in one of the facility’s lead-lined X-Ray rooms.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;After being dutifully alerted by hospital staff the Groupe d'Intervention de la Gendarmerie Nationale (anti-terrorist unit) and other specialist police brigades, plus inspectors from the Paris offices of the IAEA – descended on the BDS offices in bio-rad hazard suits and seized the contaminated correspondence and envelope – which, following forensic examination, was found to contain enriched weapons-grade U-235 uranium in a pulverised, 37 micron form. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Inspector Pierre le Mott, chief of the GIGN team, informed one press hack from Le Merde that “These threats – and now too actual attacks - are the latest in a series of unpunished acts by pro-Israel militias involving the display of racist graffiti and posters at the Centre International de la Culture Populaire – which serves as the headquarters of several associations in the Palestine solidarity movement – including the affected BDS group personnel.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Looking at the evidence of today’s attack these anti-Islamist shits have now gone viral and intend to start a wave of physical assaults on the pro-Palestinian activists by using radioactive materials – so we can only speculate that their next offensive might involve a false flag strike like 9/11 by detonating a dirty bomb – and doubtless blaming it on Iranian terrorists and the fictitious Mohammed al Patsy.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“But what can we expect when this little arsehole of a President of ours, the ZioNazi ‘sayan’ prick Sarkozy, gets his orders from Tel Aviv and the Rothshite crime syndicate and has given the go-ahead to prosecutors to falsely and outrageously charge the BDS campaign activists with inciting racial hatred, anti-Semitism – and also Holohoax denial.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Fortunately our courts have resisted the pressure applied by that poison dwarf Sarkozy and the Israeli embassy – and too a plethora of like Zionist groups out to suppress the boycott of Israeli apartheid by legal means. However, it now appears that the psychopathic supporters of the rogue state of Israel’s policy of Manifest Destiny colonialism - stealing every tiny bit of land the dispossessed Palestinians are left with – have decided to turn to violent actions.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Meanwhile, back at the GIGN HQ forensics lab, it was determined that the envelope used to package and deliver the contaminated threat letter bore an Iranian postage stamp – one unfortunately bearing the 1975 issue image of His Royal Ruthlessness, Shah Reza Palaver – but with a Royal Mail franking mark indicating the letter was posted in Luton, UK earlier that week.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Applying the technique of the Doctrine of Signatures in the analysis of the offending U-235 it was determined to have originated in the reactor of Israel’s Dimona nuclear weapons plant in the Negev Desert. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The GIGN’s Inspector le Mott took up the story again “This envelope was posted in Broken Britain, not Iran – and some moron had pasted on a stamp with the overthrown Shah’s portrait on it – obviously filched from a stamp album. Then we have this threatening letter – written in fractured Arabic with back-to-front grammar as though cobbled together from a phrase book or dictionary – which is a dead give away that it didn’t originate in Iran as they’re Farsi speakers – not Arabic. Thus this concocted intrigue to throw the blame onto the agents of Iran by implying the U-235 came from their Bushehr 1 reactor or the Natanz nuclear enrichment facility has fallen flat on its arse.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Our compadres in MI5 have determined the envelope came from a branch of WH Smith in Luton, which coincidentally happens to be the base for the pro-Israeli English Defence League – who are completely funded by the Rothshite banksters and whose sole purpose for existence is to promote and spread the disease of Islamophobia. They are a racist organisation whose main activity was pro-hatred street demonstrations against the Muslim community – and now appears that they are going nuclear in their ambitions with the help of their Mossad controllers.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“You know what their political credo is? - Peacefully Protesting Against Anyone Who Dares Criticise Israel. So I ask you, what has defending England got to do with launching terrorist attacks on people who criticise the neo-Nazi state of Israel for the litany of war crimes and human rights and wrongs abuses they visit on the poor Palestinian people – besieged behind their Great Apartheid Walls in the biggest concentration camps on the planet?”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“The British intelligence service and police are now investigating links connecting the EDL to this radioactive threat letter posted from Luton to the BDS office in Paris. Already they have discovered a recent wire transfer from Israel’s Ministry for the Expropriation of Palestinian Lands to the EDL’s bank account in Luton – so we know that the PM Bobo Nuttyahoo and his Knesset kikesters are involved.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely the English Defence League’s head honcho – career hooligan and self-styled ‘hardman’ Tommy ‘Tourettes’ Robinson, (aka Stephen Yaxley-Lennon) a former landfill warden and seagull strangler and now owner / operator of the Luton-based Tammy Tumour’s Tanning Parlour - was interviewed by the media at the EDL’s Luton HQ in Scumborough Hamlets, where he informed one press hack from the Xenophobes Gazette that “It’s all a pile of effin’ bollocks tryin’ ter blame us cos some French slut got snuffed wiv some radioactive shite. So, where’s she bin fer her fuckin’ holidays, I’d like ter know – lyin’ on the beach at effin’ Chernobyl?”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Are you supporting the pro-Palestinian Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions campaign that targets goods marketed by the illegal state of Israel? Is your ‘boycott’ effort confined to Uzi sub-machine guns and Galil assault rifles or does it also include a determined refusal to buy Jaffa oranges and kosher matzo or send out Hanukkah cards?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-2557397590673732343?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/2557397590673732343/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=2557397590673732343' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2557397590673732343'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2557397590673732343'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/manky-mossad-targets-boycott.html' title='Manky Mossad Targets Boycott Campaigners'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-4090769650664025738</id><published>2012-01-18T09:47:00.010Z</published><updated>2012-01-18T10:08:30.307Z</updated><title type='text'>Ofsted Grade of ‘Fair’ Revised to ‘Utter Crap’</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sir Rigby Ratstamper, the head honcho of the UK’s education watchdog Ofsted, yesterday informed press hacks he had tasked the inspectorate’s career jobsworths with totally revising the outmoded semantic content used to classify the grading of Broken Britain’s schools following an inspection – with the aim of substituting such ambiguous and euphemistic terms as a ‘requires improvement’ rating to ‘pile of shite – fire head teacher’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ratstamper is determined to exorcise Ofsted’s modus operandi of the redundant system of school performance classifications and send a message that what was once rated as ‘satisfactory" will henceforth be graded as ‘NFG’ (No Fucking Good).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;While the National Union of Teachers has in the past criticised such labels as insulting when applied to schools viewed by Ofsted inspectors as ‘coasting’ – they have now gone into gob-smacked, shell-shocked mode, claiming this latest move by Sir Rigby to galvanise slack-arsed school principals and teaching staff into action breaches every concept of political correctness.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely, Prime Minister Posh Dave Scameron threw his support behind Ratstamper’s plans, telling media reporters "This policy shift is intended to initiate a massive sea change in attitude towards the motivation of teachers. While inspection ratings of ‘satisfactory’ and 'just good enough' might be quite permissible for the performance of NHS doctors and investment banksters – and too cabinet ministers and MPs in the House of Conmans - they’re no longer to be accepted within our education system as the country already has more duffers and duck eggs than it can cope with.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sir Rigby’s announcement pre-empts a Downing Street summit scheduled for later this week to discuss the Cabinet Office Behavioural Insight Team’s (aka the Nudge Unit) conjured Big Society battle strategies for turning coasting schools into military-administered academies where the principal will be a Drill Sergeant or RSM – with corporal punishment the order of the day for transgressors of the institution’s regulations – and a seven-day bread and water detention regime, hanging by the thumbs in the school mortuary, the mandated punishment for stubborn truants. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;At present, Ofsted inspectors have the scope to judge schools as being ‘inadequate’, ‘satisfactory’, ‘good’ or ‘outstanding’ – a grading system that will henceforth undergo radical revisions as Sir Rigby’s new rating classifications take effect and under-performing establishments are banished from the Department of Education’s books and their status reclassified to a pariah level ‘academy’ – with their management coming under the aegis of private defence contractors Slackwater / XE. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ms Bev Titwank, head of the NASTWAT teachers' union, attacked the proposals as “Yet another crude ruse to enable that chinless wonder of an Education Minister Michael Gove to push more schools into the hands of profit making, private companies staffed to the gills with ex-military psychos.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“What worries us most is the 3,000-odd schools that are currently doing their best to educate a million children and have been rated as 'satisfactory' for two inspections in a row. If these schools get downgraded and turned over to the likes of Slackwater / XE then they’re going to end up on a similar footing to Iraq’s Abu Ghraib Prison - generating a culture of vicious management practices which will in turn have a profoundly negative psychological effect on the pupils."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“We've had a perfect example of this with 14-year old Genghis McTwatt at the St Asbo’s Academy for Latter Day Scrotes last year when he was subjected to a water boarding session for not turning in his homework assignment on schedule, then went AWOL by pulling a week-long truant stunt and walked nonchalantly into the school hall during assembly the following Monday morning with a bagful of pipe bombs and an AK47 he’d picked up at Pikey Pete’s car boot sale that weekend - and killed everyone old enough to bleed.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-4090769650664025738?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/4090769650664025738/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=4090769650664025738' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4090769650664025738'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4090769650664025738'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/ofsted-grade-of-fair-revised-to-utter.html' title='Ofsted Grade of ‘Fair’ Revised to ‘Utter Crap’'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-453170925994223666</id><published>2012-01-18T08:11:00.005Z</published><updated>2012-01-18T08:25:46.788Z</updated><title type='text'>Bonkers Boris Takes Over Met Plod Squad</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As part of the Libservative Coalition government’s on-going efforts to turn Broken Britain’s fatally-flawed multi-cultural society into an even bigger dysfunctional shambles than it already is - via the application of the tried and tested ‘order into chaos’ doctrine - London's Mayor, the Right Honourable Pasha, Bonkers Boris de Piffle Nonsense, has been, since midnight on Sunday, solely responsible for the Metropolitan Plod Squad's priorities and performance.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To wit, in a move fraught with the spectre of unintended consequences  – such as mayhem and utter disaster - the Metropolitan Police Authority has now been disbanded and replaced by the Mayor's Office for Plodding and Crime (MOP-C). &lt;br /&gt;The change is part of the police reform and social responsibility bill which aims to give the nation’s voters – criminals included - a say in how they are policed.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Just to confuse matters further and postpone the inevitable destiny of a legion of bureaucratic jobsworths from joining the burgeoning unemployment queues at the dole office, the MOP-C, in turn, will be monitored by the London Assembly's Police and Crime Panel – and headed by Met Plod Squad Commissioner Bernard ‘Hulk’ Hogan – a man, who in a previous incarnation, earned the legend of ‘The Scourge of Scouseland’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Bonkers Boris - the type of person you can take anywhere twice (the second time to apologise) and whose Utopian ambitions unfortunately far exceed the scope and powers of his limited intellectual capabilities – met with press hacks on Monday to give an informal talk on his favourite subject – himself – before detailing the delusional plans to turn London into a Crime-Free Comfort Zone – divested of oicks, scrotes and generalised scallies - prior to the Diamond Jubilee / Wimbledon / 2012 Olympic Games events scheduled for Britain's summer season (2nd weekend in July).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Mayor Nonsense rationalised to one reporter from the Megalomania Gazette that “Henceforth I’m going to be putting my ‘policing’ foot down with a firm hand. No more extra-judicial snuffing of yobsters around Tottenham and kick starting a wave of sodding riots up and down the country. No more snuffing Brazilian electricians either and bringing about a state of affairs where every ex-pat sparky’s buggered off back to Poland or Venezuela before the Met’s psycho CO19 Armed response Unit mistake them for a Jolly Jihad Muslim terrorist and make a total bollocks of their otherwise ‘good day’.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“What’s more I’m going to be putting a stop to the Met’s TSA Renta-Thug Squad punching non-confrontational split-arsed protesters in the face at G20 demo’s and claiming they mistook an orange juice carton for an AK47 assault rifle.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Further, whether the Met like it or not, there’ll be no more ‘live footage’ incidents of beating passer-by news vendors to death with a steel baton while getting video’d by a bunch of G20 protest witnesses – and that rule’s going to apply to tipping gimps out of their wheelchairs and dragging them across the road by the scruff of the neck – for their own protection. Really, are these uniformed clots insane or what?”&lt;br /&gt;“Plus I’m not going to tolerate any member of the Met’s force assisting MI5 with suiciding government weapons inspectors again either – that’s a job for Dignitas over in cuckoo-clock land. And if Mossad and Co pull another 7/7 false flag terrorist attack on my TfL Underground this summer and I find out the Met’s involved and not Mohammed al Patsy, then the shit’s really going to hit the fan.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Mind you, on the positive side, I do intend to get tough on youth violence and knife crime – and set up a task force to tackle gangs, robbery, burglary - plus slash re-offending rates by getting more uniformed plods off their arses and out on the streets – overtime galore - either burning shoe leather or riding around on my fleet of Boris Bikes.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely the thatched-haired Bonkers came in for a barrage of criticism from political opponents, and none more venomous than ex-Mayor Red Ken Livingroom, who took time out from his ‘bird-watching’ activities down at Doggers Wood to chat with the media - confiding to one press hack from the Duffers Gazette that “Boris might well be ready to read the riot act over street thugs and instances of pissed-up vandalism but he’s overlooking the gross hypocrisy regarding the inebriated vandalism statement - if memory were to recall his university days and the Tory-infested Bullingdon Club laying waste to the entire Oxfordshire region every time they went on a bender and got shit-faced.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-453170925994223666?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/453170925994223666/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=453170925994223666' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/453170925994223666'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/453170925994223666'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/bonkers-boris-takes-over-met-plod-squad.html' title='Bonkers Boris Takes Over Met Plod Squad'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-5578899490577495457</id><published>2012-01-17T10:33:00.003Z</published><updated>2012-01-17T10:51:32.070Z</updated><title type='text'>Is D of E Gove’s Stupidity ‘Contagious’?</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Libservative Coalition’s Education Secretary Michael Gove, a former Pob impersonator and incumbent Tory MP for the Barking Mad constituency, has suggested that Broken Britain's economic problems be tossed to the capricious moods of the wind and proposes the taxpayer’s public purse gets further shafted up the back passage for a sum of £60 zilion quid to buy a new royal yacht for the shameless Wicked Windsor family - as a fitting gesture of servile obeisance by the peasant classes of our once-sceptred isle to mark Queen Lizzie’s diamond jubilee celebrations.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Excuse me, please pass the barf bags. WTF are we buying her a boat for when Mrs Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg (nee Lizzie Saxe-Coburg-Gotha) has more money stashed away in tax-dodging offshore accounts than Baron Ja’ackoff Rothshite and his ZioNazi crime syndicate?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In a letter to culture secretary Jeremy Crunt, the minister tasked with overseeing the jubilee’s arrangement, also copied to Deputy Prime Minister Mick Clogg, the cretinous Gove claims that the UK’s dire economic climate needs a large-scale Lucculan extravaganza to distract and boost the nation’s downcast spirits with some Busby Berkeley diversion on the scale of the Roman Games – or Animal House’s ‘Toga Party’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Defending his suggestion before the House of Conmans assembly on Monday, Gove stated for the Hansard record that the Queen's ‘highly significant contribution’ of milking the economies of Britain and the Commonwealth should be recognised with a lasting legacy – which received a barrage of cat calls that she and her obnoxious, work-shy Greek spouse - His Royal Rudeness Prince Philip - already have that in the form of several castles and palaces funded from the public purse via housing benefits - and all unencumbered of council taxes.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;New Labour’s shadow education secretary Fellattia van der Gamm opined to one press hack from the Duck Egg Gazette that “It’s my belief that this proposal has been fielded by the cabinet’s Nudge Unit in Downing Street – the place where the bullshit never sleeps – and they’ve got Gove to stick his neck out and pretend to have come up with the idea so there’s no comeback on Posh Dave Scameron.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Okay, Gove’s an archetype stooge and ideal Parliamentary patsy who’s simply never cottoned on to the fact that it’s bad enough to be thought a total moron without opening his mouth and confirming the fact. He’s been led up the garden path that suggesting the new royal yacht concept’s going to get himself a mention in the Birthday Honours list – perhaps a title of Sir – or Lord Gove of Barking Mad.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Unfortunately for Gove, while he’s gone into arse-creeping mode and mooching after a knighthood by trying to sell the new yacht idea to Jeremy Crunt, he’s totally overlooked the damning fact his ministry has just slashed the UK’s schools’ budget to ribbons like one of Freddy Kruger’s Elm Street victims - and now wants to squander more public money on these elitist privileged German-Greek parasites lording it over the peasantry from their housing benefit subsidised Buckingham Palace.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ms Bev Titwank, the director of Kunt-Watch, a privately-funded charity tasked with monitoring government abuses, informed media hacks “Gove’s a right tosser wot needs ter keep his effin’ eye on the D of E ball an’ not start fiddlin’ around wiv things wot don’t concern him – such as buyin’ the scumbag royals presents fer this profligate extravaganza of a diamond jubilee celebration. He’s a dribblin’, chinless wonder an’ a fuckwit wot doesn’t have the nuance ter qualify fer the classification of an effin’ half-wit. How the fuck he ever got inter the cabinet’s beyond me – he’d be better off wiv a job on the council at Camberwick Green or Trumpton.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Just look at wot the clot’s done wiv his thick-as-pigshit plans ter create a ‘bully’s charter’ fer schools so they can sack unsatisfactory teachin’ staff – an’ any poor sod an’ their dog whose face doesn’t fit - within one term instead of the current academic year rulin’.”&lt;br /&gt;“Then ter add insult to bloody injury the moron’s goin’ ter mandate that head teachers an’ their vindictive staff subscribe ter his snitchers scheme an’ grass up anyone under investigation in an attempt ter stop the recyclin’ of staff wot’s sufferin’ from crotch itch scratchin’ spasms or involuntary meteorism, halitosis or galloping acne – or an annoyin' habit of speakin' their effin’ minds an’ refusin’ ter tow the government’s D of E brainwashin’ syllabus line.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, Diamond Jubilee be damned - after 60 years Lizzie’s well past her sell-by date anyways, hence why not get rid of the old baggage?&lt;br /&gt;However, if Downing Street changes its mind, which is often the case with this bunch of career procrastinators, there’s a decent sized boat going cheap right now off the west coast of Italy – the Costa Concordia.&lt;br /&gt;All it needs is a couple of weeks in dry dock, a 30 meter patch welding on the hull - and hire a skipper who can read a fucking chart - and a side scan sonar display. Then ‘voila!’ – a new Royal Yacht all ready to set sail for Lizzie’s Jubilee celebrations – and no snide remarks about hoping the maiden voyage follows the same course as last weekend’s and flounders yet again in the Tyrrhenian Sea off the island of Gigolo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Alas for the Tory Party, the imbecilic Gove’s latest faux pas has served to focus yet again the proletariat’s attentions on the class war paradox of the ‘haves’, the ‘have nots’ - and the ‘have yachts’.&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, if you follow the trail of wool from the garden gate it will no longer lead back to Pob’s sweater but shall rather loop over the bough of a tree and form a noose around Michael Gove’s scrawny neck.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-5578899490577495457?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/5578899490577495457/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=5578899490577495457' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/5578899490577495457'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/5578899490577495457'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/is-d-of-e-goves-stupidity-contagious.html' title='Is D of E Gove’s Stupidity ‘Contagious’?'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-320857788561732115</id><published>2012-01-17T07:13:00.008Z</published><updated>2012-01-17T07:32:49.408Z</updated><title type='text'>Tories Kiss Ass for Saudi Arms Sales</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Broken Britain’s Tory Prime Minister, Posh Dave Scameron, sneaked quietly off on a junket to Saudi Arabia last week to boost the UK’s export trade during meetings with a score of kleptocrats charged with running the kingdom’s window-dressing government - plus holding in-camera talks with the 96-year old despotic ruler of the Third World shithole – (a lard-arsed slob hovering two steps away from a massive heart attack or a stroke) - His Absolute Ruthlessness, King Abdullah bin Fat Git –- along with his heir apparent, 79-year old fanatical Wahhabist Crown Prince Naff al Twatt.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The top secret talks were held at the opulent Palace of One Thousand Catamite Delights in Riyadh, which Downing Street hopes will broaden and deepen the UK-Saudi relationship regarding arms sales and support for the pro-Zionist West’s regime change push throughout the region.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;One of the main aims of the trip, organized by the City of London’s Rothshite crime syndicate and BAE Weapons Systems, was to establish a closer, personal relationship between PM Scameron and Crown Prince Naff on the basis that they have so much in common – starting with their absurd, exaggerated sense of entitlement and self-importance – and too an inherent abuse of privilege.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Both men, in their own right, have benefited from a classical Ripping Yarns style English public school education, where they were indoctrinated into the rituals of junior Freemasonry and gained their first experiences of ‘pitch &amp; catch’ cottaging – hence ensuring a vulnerable spot for blackmail and bribery in their future adult, political careers. &lt;br /&gt;Diplomatic service insiders are of unanimous accord that Posh Dave and Prince Naff have egos far larger than their collective IQs – and are jointly possessed with ambitions far beyond the reach of their limited intellects – a prerequisite for their manipulation in the roles of prime minister and future monarch.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Saudi Arabia is the UK's largest trading partner in the Middle East and, being a bunch of hopeless slobs too lazy to wipe their own arses, dependent on the import of BAE’s advanced precision kill weapon systems with their built-in DASALs active laser seekers - plus an assortment of other low and high-tech arms ranging from cattle prods and thumb screws to automatic testicle crushers, computerized water-boarding kits and electric knee-cappers worth in excess of £45 zillion quid per annum.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hence this supply chain contract is one the Tory-dominated Libservative Coalition government views as vital to advancing Britain's interests in the conflict-torn Mid-East Gulf region and being the raison de etre to persuading the Saudis to march to the beat of the Great Satan’s ‘Foreign Policy Initiative’ drumbeat in stirring up negative sentiments towards Syria’s beleaguered Assad regime, denouncing Hezbollah and Hamas - and backing the US-Israeli planned first strike attacks and invasion of the Islamic Republic of Iran.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely, speaking to one press hack from the Warmongers Gazette, New Labour MP Chlamydia Mingerot, chairwoman of the Parliamentary committee on arms export controls, commented that Saudi Arabia had an appalling human rights and wrongs record that surpassed both those of Hitler’s Nazi Germany and the rogue state of Israel’s criminal treatment of the marginalised populations of the occupied West Bank and besieged Gaza Strip - which the prime minister could not ignore – unless he no longer gave a shit about his credibility and reputation for gross hypocrisy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Really, Cabbage Patch Dave’s there flogging all kinds of nasty arms to these barbarians who don’t even believe in God or have any churches – and we want to know what they’re going to be used for. The suppression of women and the further torture and murder of pro-democracy protesters in Bahrain by the Saudi military’s 21st Renta-Thug Battalion – and too their own Shia nationals supporting the popular Arab Spring pro-democracy uprisings in the Ash Sharqiyah region and Ghawar oil fields.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“What’s more to the point we’ve even got the Royal Family in on the act now and they obviously don’t give a shit about human rights abuses or war crimes when that cloth-eared clot Prince Edward and his piranha-faced missus Sophie stopped over in Bahrain last week on a mooching mission after being on some taxpayer-funded junket or other – and go cosying up to that scumbag murdering bastard King Hamad bin Psycho - then accepting a wheelbarrow full of jewels off him – doubtless now on the other side of some pawnshop counter knowing the habits of that money-grubbing slapper Sophie.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In response to this diatribe, due Scameron’s absence, Foreign Secretary Willy ‘Closet Case’ Vague – exhibiting his customary disturbing economy concerning matters involving ‘the truth’ - informed a reporter from the Daily Shitraker “Sod that silly bitch Chlamydia, she’s just out to stir up trouble, as per bloody usual. Saudi Arabia is the UK’s largest trading partner in the Middle East – and also has unique influence on the Arab League due its dispensation of monetary largess in coercing them to put pressure on Assad’s repressive regime in Syrian and get them prepared for the NATO ‘humanitarian intervention’ military invasion.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Hey, okay, so it’s a cliché, but if we didn’t supply them with weapons and interrogation equipment, then someone else would. And I do wish you media types would stop saying we’re participating in the torture of these Arab Spring protester criminals. We don’t call it torture anymore – the practice is now referred to with the politically correct term of ‘enhanced interrogation techniques’. Same as MI6’s part in helping Mossad knock off the Iranian nuclear boffins – it’s only classed as ‘terrorism’ when they do it. When we stick a bomb on the side of some sod’s car it’s classed as ‘covert warfare’.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"Oh, I know we have lots of bleeding heart do-gooders and critics going on about how we shouldn't be friends with King Abdullah bin Fat Git and his gang of Neanderthals - or that Posh Dave aught not to be drumming up business with a bunch of despotic philistines and savages who treat their women worse than battery hens.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“But what these oicks are forgetting is the fact that Saudi Arabia – its appalling human rights record besides - is such an important ally with having all that oil – and lots of money to spend on British arms. Really, if we didn’t have the Saudi military as our best customer then where would Chancellor Osborne be, I ask you? His piggy bank would be rattling with just a couple of worthless euros in it – and then the local authority budget cuts and austerity measures would really kick in.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Britain, waving aloft the banner of human rights, is once again seeking to provide a despotic pro-Western / Zionist regime with the latest killing technologies to repress the protesters calling for peace and democracy in their own countries, and here we have the likes of FS Willy Vague juggling rhetoric over hypocrisy in an attempt to put an acceptable face on the unacceptable – akin to adding a touch of gloss to a pile of shit – so it smells nice - a misguided policy fraught with the spectre of unintended consequences.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, the jackboot’s first steps on the path to fascism are always tip-toe soft.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Alas, Cabbage Patch Dave and his Tory cohorts are so institutionally-corrupt and bent that if any of their number dropped down dead from a stifled conscience attack (doubtful) then there’d be no need to dig a grave but simply wind them into the ground like a corkscrew.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To misquote the French ‘Age of Enlightenment’ philosopher Denis Diderot: “There will never be peace and harmony in the greater Middle East region until the last of the Rothshite crime syndicate’s ZioNazis is strangled with the gutted intestines of the final corrupt Western politician”. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-320857788561732115?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/320857788561732115/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=320857788561732115' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/320857788561732115'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/320857788561732115'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/tories-kiss-ass-for-saudi-arms-sales.html' title='Tories Kiss Ass for Saudi Arms Sales'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-4744075116648165163</id><published>2012-01-16T07:40:00.005Z</published><updated>2012-01-16T11:32:28.050Z</updated><title type='text'>An Invocation for Martyrs of Conscience</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The multi-denominational ‘God Save Robert Green’ 24/7 Prayer-a-Thon is scheduled to begin at 10:00 am GMT today - Monday 16/01/2012 - as the Sheriff’s Court convenes in Stonehaven to finally adjudicate on this contrived Breach of the Peace 'vendetta' case filed against ‘the accused’ for his exposure of the Scaberdeen establishment crime syndicate mafia and their Masonic paedophile cabal - guilty of the abuse of disabled and special needs children over the past two decades - and beyond - at the Beechwood 'Special School' – at private houses in the Ferryhill Road and Ferryhill Place areas of AB11 - at Binghill Road West in Milltimber AB13 - and addresses various in Biedleside AB15 - to name but a sampling.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The above ‘prosecution’ (read ‘persecution’) is a travesty of justice to silence Robert Green - to make him 'disappear' from the public landscape - that has its festering origins with the 'globally-viral' burgeoning scandal known across the internet and Universal cyberspace as the Hollie Greig Sexual Abuse &amp; Serial Rape Case.&lt;br /&gt;A litany of wickedness has been concealed by perverted Freemasons belonging to this cabal of pederasts and their fawning Brotherhood minions infesting the once-hallowed halls of the Holyrood Parliament - and too Scotland's Crown Office &amp; Procurator Fiscal Service officialdom - now corruption-ridden due this prevalent culture of vile dishonesty that ranges from lies to bribery to blackmail to shameless breaches of the Ninth Commandment - to conspiracy - and, with thoughts on Roy Greig - to downright murder.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hence as the Scottish legal system is a graft and corruption-ridden farce then perhaps this entreaty via prayer for ‘Divine Intervention’ might well be the final solution to pursuing justice viz the conspiratorial concealment of ranking establishment officials involved the kiddie fiddling ring – and the contrived Breach of the Peace (Jury Denied) vendetta case filed against Robert – and at last achieve satisfaction and closure for Hollie and her Mum, Anne.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A renegade junta of the Brotherhood of Scottish Rite Freemasonry dominates officialdom and the legal profession in and around Grampian’s crime and paedophilia capital of Scaberdeen – with Masonic clique links to influential individuals in the Crown Office, judiciary and at the highest ranks of the Holyrood Parliament, able to obstruct and pervert the course of justice – going so far as to coerce Robert’s successive legal teams into states of self-preservation / career suicide procrastination - with one brief from Upshot, Bagrot &amp; Shitpot, Ms Sue Fleecem, pressured into advising her client to plead guilty to anything the Sheriff suggested.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This insidious cabal constitute an ongoing threat to public safety and have by their criminal acts relating to the Hollie Greig child rape case - and Roy Greig’s murder - stigmatised the wider public perception of Freemasonry by alluding to its becoming synonymous to the ritual sexual abuse of disabled children and a catalogue of illegal conduct to suppress and avoid exposure – ranging from lies to blackmail to threats of violence to illegal sectioning – to outright murder provided with an official verdict of ‘suicide’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;While various religious groups from around the world have e-mailed and stated their interest in hosting the Prayer-a-Thon for the dismissal of the concocted Breach of the Peace charges filed against Robert Green – and too their intention of calling upon a ‘Higher Power’ to smite and lay waste to the tents and tribes of the ‘ungodly’ minions of Satan manning the halls of Holyrood and the COPFS - the actual benediction and mass will, after careful considerations, be led from the Vatican by Pope Benny, the German built to last Mark XVI Papal model - due the Roman Catholic Church’s traditional culture of personal involvement with the evils – and costs – of kiddie fiddling. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Simultaneous mass prayer meetings will take place upon hallowed ground from Western Samoa to the Church of What’s Happening Now in Wallamaroo, Australia – and to Saudi Arabia's Mecca – where Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer, the Grand Imam of the Kess Emakk ibn Himar Mosque, will direct the haji faithful to jog seven times around the Kaaba while reciting a mantra of ‘Elish Angiolini Sucks’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rabbi Sheldon Weaselberg has promised to be on the ball in Jerusalem with his cadre of devout followers, and take a break from taunting the hapless Palestinians for a couple of hours as they set to banging their foreheads against the Wailing Wall and invoke He who has no name (Yahweh) to vent his wrath upon the Stonehaven prosecution team and Scaberdeen’s ungodly pederast hordes.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Archbishop of Canterbury did kindly offer to have a chat with ‘the Boss’ and put in a good word for Robert Green, but unfortunately his Monday schedule conflicts with the Prayer-a-Thon due a BBC interview on the subject of the corrupting influences of Wi-Fi phones and the texting culture on the youth of today – obviously considered of greater importance than the corrupting influence of child sex abuse and establishment-sanctioned paedophilia.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pastor Hiram T. Redneck, the Supreme Revelator at the Church of Latter Day Morons in Utah, a devout polygamist, declined his services in this particular instance as he believes child sex is one of the divine bounties bestowed upon man by the good Lord – as per the fruits of Eden.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely, down in Haiti, the Very Reverend Wormhole Jaffacake, a chartered Juju-man, has conjured up a stream of Dahomean voodoo-generated Stuxnet computer viruses specially for the occasion - to be e-mailed to Masonic lodges globally – and through to Holyrood, the COPFS and Stonehaven Court at 10:00 am precisely - to shut down the entire corrupt Scottish legal system.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, with reflection on the above, that’s what this nefarious renegade junta of Scaberdeen’s kiddie fiddling criminals have done to the once noble Brotherhood of Scottish Rite Freemasonry – diminished its stellar mystique, dignity and honour to the stuff of scandal found within the pages of the red top gutter press tabloids – and shamed the memory of the Widow’s son.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"Yes, The Freemasons – a ‘secret society’ specifically conceived for people with guilty ‘secrets’ to hide. &lt;br /&gt;So if you’ve something nasty to keep under wraps, like Caledonia’s pederast fraternity, then the Brotherhood of Scottish Rite Freemasonry might just be the place for you".&lt;br /&gt;Apply now – send your CV, along with a photocopy of your criminal record and latest probation report – plus your Sex Offenders Register entry number to: jamesnoble@grandlodgescotland.org – and get your free Boy’s Own copy of ‘Secret Handshakes for Dummies’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To quote Ben Johnson: "Much may be made of a Scotchman, if he be caught so young."&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, Dr Johnson’s delusional view besides, the eyes of the world are on Stonehaven Sheriff's Court and ready for the next immoral and unscrupulous acts of injustice in this rigged 'No Jury Allowed' pantomime staged against Robert Green.&lt;br /&gt;Too, what industry the misanthropic Diogenes would make of this kangaroo court charade as he ceases to scowl at the world from his barrel and ventures out in the noonday sun, wielding aloft a lighted lamp – in search of an honest man.  &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day: Fuck the Freemasons and the entire crooked Grampian-Scaberdeen establishment – and their bent Holyrood / COPFS cohorts.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a Freemason-infested area and may contain traces of elitist abuse of privilege and an exaggerated sense of entitlement&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-4744075116648165163?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/4744075116648165163/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=4744075116648165163' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4744075116648165163'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4744075116648165163'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/invocation-for-martyrs-of-conscience.html' title='An Invocation for Martyrs of Conscience'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-555025800352685870</id><published>2012-01-15T07:49:00.001Z</published><updated>2012-01-15T07:59:17.977Z</updated><title type='text'>Dutch Monarch Branded ‘Burka Bitch’</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands today publicly dismissed as ‘a right old pile of bullshit’ the burgeoning domestic political row concerning her wearing a burka-style dress and a headscarf while on a trip to the Persian Gulf states this past week.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Monarch was reacting to a stream of stupid questions in Parliament tabled by Geert Wilderbeest's Totally Bonkers Islamophobia Party which claimed that by donning traditional Islamic garb she was legitimising the oppression of Muslim women and kowtowing to the barbaric precepts of draconic Sharia law.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Beatrix first wore the controversial gown and head covering during a visit to Abu Dhabi where she enjoyed a tour of the Emirate’s oil-slicked and sewage-ridden beaches before spending the afternoon at a petting zoo, stroking dwarf camels and goats trained to blow raspberries.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Queen fronted up in the same outfit again on Thursday during a stop-over in Oman to deliver several bulging buff envelopes stuffed with ‘baksheesh’ on behalf of the Netherlands’ arms manufacturer Artillerie Inrichtingen – which prompted snide foreign news correspondents to comment she resembled a sack of shit tied in the middle as she dispensed her largess of ‘facilitation fees (aka ‘bribes’) to a salivating queue of corrupt government and military officials.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Designed especially for the trip by Bev Titwank, founder of Paris’s prestigious Troll-Wear fashion house, so the Queen might dress according to the region’s Arabic cultural mores and out of respect for Islamic tradition, the ‘Mourning Black’ gown and ‘Whorehouse Red’ headscarf were - juxtaposed to the biased opinions of news hacks - an instant hit with subjugated women throughout the Gulf states who were quick to Twitter or post Facebook comments of slavish adoration.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;During her visit to the Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer Grand Mosque in the Omani capital of Muscat, Beatrix wore the Aphrodisian red scarf over her hat while Latina daughter-in-law Princess Maxima followed local custom and shoved a brown paper bag over her head – with both women later treated to a tour of the local souk where they received rounds of cat-calls from the moronic masses of unwashed fellaheen of “Yankee Go Home!” and “Let’s see yer tits, Maxi babes” – the latter directed at the blonde bombshell Argentinean princess.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-555025800352685870?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/555025800352685870/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=555025800352685870' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/555025800352685870'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/555025800352685870'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/dutch-monarch-branded-burka-bitch.html' title='Dutch Monarch Branded ‘Burka Bitch’'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-8087027472126289918</id><published>2012-01-14T07:21:00.004Z</published><updated>2012-01-14T13:19:01.340Z</updated><title type='text'>Scotland’s Referendum: Tories Shit Kittens</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Well, the Tories have gone into panic mode, with PM Posh Dave Scameron running around like the proverbial headless chicken a performance complete with a hysterical display of arm-waving semaphore and frenzied semantic blather over the prospect of the United Kingdom fast becoming ‘un-united’ and Westminster losing control over the only piece of the UK that’s actually worth anything in the way of oil and grouse shoots.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, what the fuck has brought about this looming calamity, one might ask? The reasons would lie with the intention of the fiercely chauvinist Scottish National Party under the corrupt leadership of former Toby Jug impersonator Alex ‘Three Chins’ Salmond to initiate a constitutional dispute by cutting loose from England and Welsh Wales to go it alone – with rumours abounding that they intend to rebuild Hadrian’s Wall to a height of three meters to keep Southern Sassenach scumbags out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It has thus come to pass that our Caledonian cousins’ intransigence on this issue, to hold a referendum on their independence move, has provided cause for Scameron to join with the New Labour opposition’s wunderkind leader Ed Millipede in condemning the scheme to reduce Westminster’s fiefdom by a goodly third in land alone – regardless of income from north of the border – whereas the ruling Coalition’s Librarian-Dummercrat leader Mick Clogg opined to press hacks “Bollocks to them if they want independence – and good riddance too.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;While ignoring the Lib-Dum leader’s customary cancer-of-the-personality awkwardness, Scameron informed the House of Conmans that he believed passionately in the historic Union, with Millipede getting his two-penneth in and claiming any break up would do irrevocable damage to the UK's national flag - with all the St Andrew’s ‘Saltire’ blue bits missing. “Really, it simply won’t be the Union Jack anymore, now will it, eh – more like the Union Joke.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;According to Scabby Bertin, the Downing Street spokeswoman, Posh Dave - a man who by his very own Tory indoctrination and elitist public school / establishment upbringing has been conditioned to maintain the traditional ‘Them and Us’ status quo against all odds - apparently took a funny turn and became violently ill at Salmond’s initial mention of that foul ten-letter word ‘Referendum’ – a thing of derision that he is vehemently opposed to holding on any subject – especially so Broken Britain’s continued second class membership of the fatally-flawed EUSSR community – and now the prospect of the SNP demanding one to decide their future and discontinue being a part of the United Kingdom.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Speaking to one press hack from the Mutineers Gazette, Scameron related “It’s the 1746 Jacobite Rebellion all over again - with Bonny Prince Alex Salmond leading the bloody charge. We know precisely what’s behind this treachery - that piggy-eyed greedy oick doesn’t want to share his North Sea oil with us anymore.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“I’m well aware that Alex hasn’t been too well after his sense of humour transplant rejected him last November and he’s stricken with some very serious lack of credibility issues, so I got straight on the blower to him up at Holyrood this afternoon and tried my best to work it out and offer a few concessions to get him to call the referendum thingy off.” &lt;br /&gt;“I told him, honestly, Alex, if you blokes north of the border are dead set on independence then Britain’s really going to end up ‘broken’ now isn’t it – and all the Queen’s horses and men won’t be able to put it back together again.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Really, we can get legislation before Parliament this coming week and push it through on the tails of the Domestic Terrorism Bill – to stop people making jokes about Jocks in Frocks and Bonny Prince Charlie being gay - and taking the mick out of Robert the Bruce, calling him an Aussie bloke that beat the English with an army of spiders at Bannockburn.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“I’m serious here, the Scots – including my very good Masonic brother Alex – have feeling too, and are culturally sensitive about our jibes concerning bagpipes and haggis and sporrans – and referring to them as a bunch of caber-tossing sheep-shaggers.”&lt;br /&gt;“I kid you not, if Westminster and Holyrood fail to resolve the constitutional and legal issues on this one it could well end up being a re-enactment of the Battle of Culodden.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, politics aside, how the fuck do we trust the moronic Alex Salmond – a man whose ego and ambitions far surpass the scope of his limited intellect - with running Scotland without guidance and oversight from Westminster when he can’t even direct his Minister of Justice Kenny ‘Watch yer Pockets’ MacAskill and corruption-ridden Crown Office &amp; Prosecution Procurator Fiscal Service to investigate the burgeoning sexual abuse and serial rape of special needs children scandal surrounding the country’s crime and kiddie fiddling capital of Scaberdeen, involving a cabal of Masonic paedophiles – all ranking officials comprising the Grampian area’s local authority establishment?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The truth be know – we can’t.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-8087027472126289918?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/8087027472126289918/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=8087027472126289918' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/8087027472126289918'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/8087027472126289918'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/scotlands-referendum-tories-shit.html' title='Scotland’s Referendum: Tories Shit Kittens'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-2542581219907396184</id><published>2012-01-13T11:54:00.005Z</published><updated>2012-01-13T21:12:24.542Z</updated><title type='text'>US Marines ‘Piss Off’ Afghans</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Afghan President Hamid Kami-Karzai and the cabinet of his Kleptocracy Party government have unanimously spit the proverbial dummy big-time and condemned a YouTube video that shows a group of gung-ho US Marines desecrating the bloodied corpses of several Taliban fighters by standing in a semi-circle and urinating on them as another member of their unit filmed the shameful acts of disrespect and gross profanity committed against the muhijadeen corpses. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt;While the origin of the video remains unknown, nor has it yet been established who is responsible for posting it online, the Pentagon had ordered an investigation into the authenticity of the controversial recording – with General Billy Bob Redneck, the Marine Corps commander at Camp Dogwanker, informing one press hack from the Warmongers Gazette that the ‘water sports’ actions displayed in the video were not consistent with a Marine’s core values – which are apparently to simply kill every fucker old enough to bleed.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The footage shows four Marines in military fatigues urinating on a pile of apparently lifeless, brown skinned, bearded men with bare feet and dressed in the Taliban’s customary loose-fitting jumble sale / Oxfam shop outfits – all of whom appear to be covered in blood – and urine. &lt;br /&gt;One Marine's voice is heard taunting "Have a great day, buddy” as he pisses in the man’s ear – while a second says “Semper Fidelis this Mohammed” and empties his bladder over the bodies.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Interviewed on Kabul TV’s Scumbags Hour programme, the US muppet President Kami-Karzai opined “What is next with the Great Satan’s Yankee barbarians? Will these infidel scumbags start cutting off ears and taking scalps as war trophies? The sooner they invade Iran and get their arses kicked – and have to pull their troops out of our country - the better. Then, Insha’Allah, we shall be shut of them and they can no longer keep stealing our opium crops.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Shaheed al Ka-Boom, the Taliban commander of the 21st Semtex Suicide Vest Battalion based in Bellend Province, opined to a reporter from War Zone Weekly “How would it be if the Taliban fighters went to the Great Satan’s much vaunted Arlington Military Cemetery and stood around pissing on the graves of dead troopers – and then posted a video recording of this disgusting act on YouTube and Facebook? What then would be the reaction of the Pentagon and White House?”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Since 2001 they have been screwing the Afghan people up the arse, now they publicly demonstrate their contempt for the valiant Taliban resistance by pissing on the bodies of our fallen comrades.”&lt;br /&gt;“The precepts of the Sharia besides, under Islamic law these troops have committed the great sins of Moharebeh (waging war against God) and Fesad fel Arz (spreading corruption on the Earth) by their foul and inhuman acts.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Taliban spokesman Ghaban ibn Himar informed the Mossad-controlled Al Jazeera news network that this was not the first time Americans had carried out such depraved acts and that perhaps now similar atrocities would be, in return, visited on the troops of the Great Satan and then posted on YouTube also.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“It was only last week our Taliban high command had decided to set up a political office, possibly in the Gulf state of Qatar – or anywhere with roads and a decent bus service – and running water – and a decent phone system – and a couple of KFC chew n spew outlets - in an attempt to jump-start peace talks with Hamid Kami-Karzai’s running dog stooge government.”&lt;br /&gt;“But now, we do not know how reconciliation can ever take place. As of this moment the offending YouTube video has not yet circulated widely here in Afghanistan but there are fears of a Biblical scale backlash against the foreign devils’ presence in the country once it does – then, as they say in the infidel West, ‘the shit will hit the fan’.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The offending troopers, identified by the US Navy's criminal investigation branch, belong to the 3rd Battalion, 2nd Marine Cannon Fodder Regiment that served in Bellend Province and were originally based at Camp Atrocity in North Carolina.&lt;br /&gt;The 3rd Battalion has had a range of deployments, which include pissing on prisoners and enemy combatant corpses not only in Afghanistan, but also at Guantanamo Bay and in Iraq and Libya – plus a deployment in 2011, peeing on wildfires in the US state of Idaho.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-2542581219907396184?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/2542581219907396184/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=2542581219907396184' title='1 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2542581219907396184'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2542581219907396184'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/us-marines-piss-off-afghans.html' title='US Marines ‘Piss Off’ Afghans'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-6712106008045226330</id><published>2012-01-12T08:50:00.003Z</published><updated>2012-01-12T08:59:32.365Z</updated><title type='text'>Polack Cabinet Snuff Plot Thickens</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;If anyone thinks that the Israeli Mossad / Great Satan’s CIA military-industrial cabal’s false flag Islamic terrorist op’ on 9/11 was an amateurish sore thumb ‘smoke &amp; mirrors’ conspiracy to stick the blame on Al Qaeda and Mohammed al Patsy and justify the illegal invasion of Afghanistan, then take a look at this dog and pony show – the blatant audacity has defied both common sense and comprehension of what the New World Order elitist scum conceive the common herd will believe and swallow since its execution on April 10th 2010.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;PM Putin’s psycho Russian crime syndicate, unhappy with the state of things in Poland since the fall of their good old totalitarian junta buddy General Wojciech Jaruzelski to the democratic likes of shipyard sparkie Lech Walesa and his Solidarity union / political party back in the 1980’s, decided they’d had quite enough of President Kaczynski and his naïve political view of fair play all round and ‘Poland First’ doctrine – especially so his negative stance on the proposed Russia to Germany zillion mile-long Gulag Gaz pipeline and claims it constituted a threat to Poland’s energy security.&lt;br /&gt;Hence in Moscow’s view it was time for a spot of radical ‘regime change’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Now here the Russkies differ from their Western counterparts and simply don’t fuck around like the Yanks, Frogs and Brits when it comes to regime change - petitioning the UN Security Council for piss-ant resolutions as occurred with Gaddafi and Libya and the contrived ‘humanitarian intervention’ excuse – they decided to just snuff the whole caboodle in one overnight covert coup - and staged the fatal Smolensk air crash to cover up the murders. Just let CSI’s Dr Gil Grissom sort that fucker out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, the shit hit the fan when the more cognisant members of Poland’s elite started asking what the fuck were 90-odd of the nation’s top brass – politicos and senior civil service bureaucrats – plus the Central Bank bosses, and military chiefs all doing on the same plane? On the very first page of the Risk Aversion for Dummies handbook it states quite clearly that such a scenario should never occur – and in the real world such things don’t happen – apart from in Russian – Polish fairy tales, of course. And here the plot starts to thicken. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Polish military officer Colonel Mikolaj Przybyl was holding a news conference last Monday at his office in potty Poznan at which he railed against government-controlled media and their incessant attacks on military prosecutors and their probe into leaks of an investigation into the contrived plane crash that was staged to appear as the cause of the deaths of Polish President Lech Kaczynski and 95 other VIP passengers and crew of the Polish Air Force Tupolev Tu-154M in 2010.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The pedantic Colonel stated for the public record that his office was determined to get to the bottom of the deaths of the government and military top brass even in the face of President Bronislaw Komorowski’s now-incumbent government objections - and expose this conspiracy claiming they all died in the rigged plane crash when they were assassinated by teams of rogue Polish GPB loose cannons in cahoots with Russian FSB agents the previous night.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;After comparing this task to the paired fighting goats butting heads atop the Poznan City Hall tower clock each noon, in a surprise turn Colonel Przybyl requested the journalists vacate his office for a coffee break, then as soon as they were out of the room a shot was heard – and upon rushing back into the office found Przybyl lying on the floor in a pool of blood – which upon closer inspection was discovered to be his own.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;One aide, Pte. Pavel Scummsky, related that the Colonel was a known self-harmer and suffering from depression stemming from a paranoid fixated phobia over having no vowels in his surname – apparently a common malady with Cyrillic alphabet users.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Further, the Poznan Plod Squad have put out an appeal to anyone finding the handgun that was used in Colonel Przybyl’s assisted suicide to please hand it in at their Stary Rynek headquarters.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Unconfirmed rumours circulating the Military Prosecutors Club claim that the deceased Colonel Przybyl has, for his efforts, been posthumously awarded a full five Anglicised vowels to add to his surname, which will appear on his gravestone as PAREZIBOYUL&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-6712106008045226330?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/6712106008045226330/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=6712106008045226330' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6712106008045226330'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6712106008045226330'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/polack-cabinet-snuff-plot-thickens.html' title='Polack Cabinet Snuff Plot Thickens'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-5450349402017915407</id><published>2012-01-11T07:20:00.004Z</published><updated>2012-01-11T07:43:29.603Z</updated><title type='text'>2012 Olympics Orwellian Security ‘Scary’</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Okay, any fucker and their dog who can read or use the cyberweb will have heard that 2012 marks the End of Days – that’s when ‘time runs out’ - if for some odd reason you’re stuck in a trans-dimensional space warp due living near a black hole - or still using the souvenir Mayan office schedule calendar some well-meaning twat brought you back from their vacation in Mexico.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;However, the gospel according to the Mayan Apocalypse prophecy states that it all goes tits up on the 21st December of this fateful year – (just in time to make a total fuck of Christmas – so bollocks to sending greeting cards and gift vouchers) - and most definitely not during the summer months fortnight of the 27th July to 12th August, during the staging of the Games of the XXX Olympiad.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thus we ponder on the ridiculous over the top and out of proportion security measures being set up for the Olympics – from an original figure of 10,000 Cro-Magnon gorillas from the Renta-Thug Agency, the current – and rising - count is now 23,7000 - with 12,000 extra trigger-happy morons from the Met’s Plod Squad and 7,500 squaddies checking visitors to Olympic venues – all to be supplemented by legions of the good ole US of A’s FBI agents and their career kiddie fiddling perv’ TSA gropers to help protect the American competitors.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A further 5,000 military from the 18th Cannon Fodder Regiment, including their vaunted special operations 1,000-strong ‘Slow Reaction Force’ will assist the Met police operation – and an extra 1,000 military from the 25th Body Bag Brigade assigned to be on the streets providing logistic support and help guard us from Jolly Jihadi Islamic terrorists out to lay waste to our democratic freedoms. &lt;br /&gt;So, little wonder the bill for fielding a total security force of 41,700 personnel has knocked a hole the size of Croydon in the budget as it soars past £1 billion quid.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;No shit, Sherlock – plus there’ll also be a fleet of Raytheon’s Reaper MQ-9 hunter-killer UAV drones stacked with pods of Shitehawk missiles cluttering up London’s skies and keeping a watchful remote eye out for manky Muslim flying carpets loaded with peroxide and black pepper bombs – ‘and’ a Royal Navy battleship anchored in the Thames at Greenwich ready to deploy Marines and SBS troopers into action if al Qaeda decide to send in an armada of scuba-rigged Semtex suicide vest mujihadeen with their sights set on blasting the fuck out of our iconic Mean Time or the sacred Meridian.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Really, let’s get back to common sense here - what the fuck are these people expecting – a rehash of the Battle of the Somme? A coordinated attack by the likes of the Jamaat Shariat, Abu Sayyaf, Al Qaeda, the Muslim Brotherhood, Lashkar-e-Taiba, Jaish-e-Mohammed and the Umayyad Revolutionary Council – or Saladin’s Saracen hordes resurrected by Allah’s vengeful hand and descending on Marshgate Lane’s Olympic Stadium riding a fleet of purloined Boris Bikes?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Doubtless all the hype and systematic propagation of lies and exaggerations will be focused on Iranian-backed Jolly Jihadi terrorists from Hezbollah and Hamas and their infernal ability to launch a devastating barrage of anxiety attacks and dirty bomb propaganda warheads on the Christian infidel West within 45 minutes – for the sole reason they hate our democratic freedoms – and have no chance of winning an athletics gold medal themselves – unless it’s in the freestyle Bomb-Chucking event.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And if the Islamic crazies don’t feel up to staging a terrorist attack on the Olympic venue, MI6 and Mossad’s psychos won’t be too far away and most certainly have another 7/7 style false flag attack planned and ready to scare the shit out of the Metropolitan population and tourists alike – with the fickle finger of fate pointing straight back to Tehran – and providing the raison d'être for declaring yet another illegal war.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-5450349402017915407?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/5450349402017915407/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=5450349402017915407' title='1 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/5450349402017915407'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/5450349402017915407'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/2012-olympics-orwellian-security-scary.html' title='2012 Olympics Orwellian Security ‘Scary’'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-1487733060475452828</id><published>2012-01-10T07:23:00.011Z</published><updated>2012-01-13T18:11:54.532Z</updated><title type='text'>Scotland Shames the Ancient &amp; Noble Craft</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Unless the COPFS’s vendetta schedule is revised and once more delayed due defence counsel excusing themselves on grounds of self-preservation versus career suicide, then on the 16th January 2012 (a Monday) several zillion scrutinising web-savvy eyes around the globe will be focused on Stonehaven Sheriff’s Court as Scotland’s Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service, along with the entire corruption-ridden judicial system, top the charts of criminal infamy and notoriety as they pursue their contrived mega-bucks expenditure pantomime of a ‘no jury allowed’ Breach of the Peace case against the Sassenach Cheshire stalwart do-gooder Robert Green.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Alas the chivalrous Mr Green transgressed the unwritten rule by up-ending a very nasty can of worms and this forthcoming 17th - or 18th - appearance (everyone’s lost count) before the Stonehaven Sheriff’s Court is in fact payback for his noble crusading efforts in exposing the dirty deeds of a cabal of establishment paedophiles that comprise Scaberdeen’s elitist ranks of officialdom - and focusing the public’s condemning glare on their decades-long ritualised sexual abuse and rape of pre-pubescent special needs children – as first laid bare and revealed by child victim Hollie Greig and her mother Anne in 2000.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Stonehaven? Que - why not centralised Scaberdeen? One might well inquire as they scan Google Earth for the landfill-sized septic dump and its backwater Sheriff’s Court. But come the 16th January the hibernating sheep and game fowl will be evicted and the courtroom staffed with a corps de esprit of vendetta-bent COPFS officers who should, in the name of justice and fair play, all recuse themselves from the case and be in the dock for perjury – or on the defence witness list – and definitely not prosecuting this now ‘cause célèbre’ case of a concocted Breach of the Peace against Mr Green.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;However these busy bee judicial system drones have been tasked from ‘On High’ by Holyrood’s panjandrums and the COPFS - and too Grampian Sheriff Genghis McVomit’s junta of corrupt elements from the Duthie Park Masonic Cottagers Club – plus the festering pederast cesspits of Ferryhill, Bieldside and Binghill Road West – with abusing the ‘Brotherhood’ bond of Scottish Rite Freemasonry to achieve their nefarious ends – of convicting the honourable Robert Green by fair means or ‘foul’ – with the latter four-letter word in evidence since his shameful arrest in February 2010 while campaigning for public office on the streets of Scotland’s crime and kiddie fiddling capital of Scaberdeen.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;With reference to the corruption of the Masonic ‘Brotherhood’ principles by the Scaberdeen hierarchy to achieve personal goals, conceal acts of gross criminality - and further coerce and pervert the path of justice, the following points are based on actual facts versus biased opinions or speculation.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To wit, let's not forget that the inquiry into the Dunblane massacre - committed by Freemason paedo’ pimp to Scotland’s beau monde and founder of the Highlands Halitosis Society - one Thomas Hamilton (Masonic Lodge Garrowhill, Lanarkshire Middle Ward) - was a massive cover-up expedited by Lord Willy Cullen of Shitekirk – and shamefully capped with a 100-year ‘Closure Order’ to protect the guilty elitists from exposure.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Former Scottish Masonic Grand Master, Lord Michael Burton, one of that rare breed possessed of Christian morals and a social conscience, publicly revealed in 2003 that Lord Cullen's official inquiry (read ‘cover-ups commission’) suppressed crucial information to protect high-profile legal figures and members of the nobility belonging to the secretive super-Mason cabal of Satanists, pederasts and sodomites known as The Speculative Society. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There are direct links connecting Thomas Hamilton, Willy Cullen and Lord George Robertson back to Dunblane's MoD-funded Queen Victoria School (a dodgy educational institute for the boarding children of military personnel - patron HRH Prince Philip aka the Duke of Edinburgh – aka Virus Man) - where Hamilton was for some obscure reason allowed the run of the place prior to the 1996 Dunblane Primary School atrocity. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Further, Lord Burton (aka Michael Baillie) revealed that he was bullied and threatened by other House of Lords peers when he tried to raise his concerns - stating for the record "There's no escaping the fact that there exists something sinister about the whole affair as pupils at QVS were regularly taken away and subjected to sessions of ritual sexual abuse.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The halls of Scotland’s Brahmin ruling establishment – the private law offices, the Holyrood Parliament and the COPFS - are infested with Masons. Membership of the ‘Brotherhood’ is a perquisite to career advancement in the traditional professions north of Hadrian’s sadly diminished Caledonian apartheid wall.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thus, any male who would hold his masculinity up to the threat of ridicule by wearing a tartan skirt will doubtless have no compunction in exposing one of his ‘man tits’ to secure the right to dress up in an apron like his Granny’s and engage in a series of ritualistic ‘Famous Five’ secret handshakes – and hence harbour nary a qualm of perjuring himself or abusing the vested powers of government office to protect a Brother Mason from legal retribution for his criminal sins – and the ‘Craft’s’ vaunted Christian ethos of honesty and justice for all be damned.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This ‘Brotherhood’ factor is so perfectly exemplified in a legion of ‘justice obfuscated and denied’ cases past. Ref the Victoriana Jack the Ripper debacle - and the stage set ‘disappearance’ of nobility’s favourite nanny-basher, Lord ‘Lucky’ Lucan. Too, reference the Vatican’s golden boy Roberto Calvi’s (aka God’s Banker) sins and demise - and his corrupt, criminal links to the P2 Masonic Lodge.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Anyone recall the horrific case of Marc Gervais Dutroux, the bonkers Belgian serial killer – arrested in 1996 for kidnapping, torturing, sexually abusing and then murdering a stream of girls ranging in ages from 18 down to 8?&lt;br /&gt;Dutroux was Belgium’s psycho’ equivalent of Scotland’s Thomas Watt Hamilton – yet another low-ranking Freemason wannabe and paedo’ pimp catering to the perverse tastes of Europe’s pederast corps de elite while fulfilling his own sadistic fantasies. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dutroux was protected from on high, with both corrupt police and social care workers providing information on vulnerable children that fitted the bill for his establishment client’s Satanic ritual requirements in the Black Mass chapel of their Château des Amerois cellars at Bouillon in the Walloon region – or the Château du Sautou in the Ardennes – owned by the equally-evil French serial killer and 33rd Degree Master Mason Michel Fourniret.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dutroux, to all intents and purposes, was an outwardly seeming insignificant electrician from Charleroi - with a psycho bent for kiddie fiddling and generalised homicide – which belied the fact he was an intregal part of a EU-based Masonic membership pedophile ring with accomplices among police officers, businessmen, doctors, high-level Belgian politicians and European nobility.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Through these links with officialdom and to ensure that ranking establishment figures were not exposed, during the investigation into Dutroux’s crimes contracts were put out on the presiding judge Jean-Marc Connerotte, who later testified that the investigation was seriously hampered by government officials protecting suspects – which eventually resulted in the forced resignations of the Minister of Justice Stefaan De Clerck, the Minister of the Interior Johan Vande Lanotte, and Police Chief Pierre Sarkozy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To quote Connerotte, who was later dismissed as head of the investigation for getting too close to the truth: "Rarely has so much energy been spent opposing an inquiry.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In a rare move, the jury sitting at Dutroux’s eventual trial in 2004 - (eight years after Dutroux’s initial arrest and the commencement of the investigation into the paedophile ring) - publicly protested over the presiding judge Stéphane Goux's handling of the debates and the victims' testimonies claiming he was supressing the core value of vital evidence and perverting the course of justice.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, sounds just like Scotland’s Holyrood Parliament, the COPFS, the Scaberdeen paedo’ Mafia and the Stonehaven Sheriff’s Court’s conspiratorial dealings with the concocted Breach of the Peace case against Robert Green.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In 2003 Tony ‘Charles Lynton’ Bliar - (the Masonic ex-New Labour PM, public lavatory loiterer and notorious international war criminal) - shit kittens and imposed a media gag order on the further release of a bevy of the 3,774 names identified by Scotland Yard’s Operation Ore four-year duration kiddie fiddling investigation (in coordination with the FBI’s Operation Avalanche) following the arrest of his bent Masonic Parliamentary aide Philip Lyon on paedophilia-related charges – to prevent his shirt-lifting Cabinet and half the Masons in the House of Conmans ending up wearing handcuffs.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Operation Ore led to 7,250 suspects being identified, 4,283 homes searched, 3,744 arrests, 1,848 charged, 1,451 convictions, 493 cautioned and 140 children removed from suspected dangerous situations and a 39 suicides among charged suspects. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Anyone who has further doubts concerning the character flaws that demean and corrupt government establishment integrity, then Google up the Waterhouse Report, circa 2000 AD and the sordid tale of Bryn Estyn Children's Home where Police Chief Superintendent Gordon Anglesea and a legion of other perverted plods staged Satanic black mass rituals and sexually abused children in the company of ranking Freemason kiddie fiddlers – including bigwig scumbag Lord Alistair McAlpine, one of the many high-level Masonic paedo’s in power who escaped prosecution following Sir Ronald Waterhouse’s 3-year / £13 million quid investigation and ensuing whitewash / cover-up.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Now Scaberdeen’s Ferryhill, and too Milltimber’s Binghill Road West paedo’ mafiosa, have entered the annals of infamy with the same notoriety due assigning the Beechwood ‘Special’ School the cybernet designation of a ‘pederast’s bordello’ – with its ‘M.A.S.C. After School Club’ - catering to the perverted sexual fetishes of the area’s establishment elitists and local worthies – and Scaberdeen’s Chief Constable Colin McKrackers refusing to investigate the dirty deeds.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Kiddie fiddling aside, let’s not forget the ‘assisted suicide’ illegal killing of Dr David Kelly in the Grassy Knoll Woods in 2003 – a black bag job given the TVP Tactical Support Major Incident Policy Book file designation of ‘Operation Mason’ (the ritual murder of one of the Ancient &amp; Noble Craft’s own) by the Thames Valley Plod Squad a full hour before the good Doctor left home for his fatal walk and an unscheduled appointment with a cruel and untimely Destiny – and several hours prior to him being reported missing.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Alas, the above examples are but a very minor sample of the wrong-doings committed by members of the Brotherhood who have corrupted their core principles in pursuit of personal – and criminal – gain to the detriment of others.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Let us not lose sight of the fact that Robert Green, in his crusade to seek justice for Hollie Greig and expose the paedophile cabal responsible for acts of serial rape against her and scores of other prepubescent bairns, is being prosecuted by a legal system infested with evil people who not only have no compunction about sexually abusing and torturing children but would stoop to murder those that dare expose and shame them.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Scottish political and legal system is one habitually infested with criminals and perverts and run on the Three B’s Doctrine: Bribery, Blackmail &amp; Bludgeons - and hence to this day is so riddled with graft and corruption that our Caledonian cousins of moral conscience have actually formed an active political party to combat this pestilent bane (with little success): specifically Scotland Against Crooked Lawyers.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This is the stacked deck that Robert Green is playing against – wherein the rules of the game change with every hand (read ‘court hearing’) to ensure the odds remain in their favour. While Robert needs our moral support in this contest between right and wrong against a conspiratorial faction of criminal plotters, perhaps ‘Divine Intervention’ – and 'a Jury' - should be the order of the day. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Yes, The Freemasons – a ‘secret society’ specifically conceived for people with guilty ‘secrets’ to hide. &lt;br /&gt;So if you’ve something nasty to keep under wraps, like Caledonia’s criminal kiddie fiddling fraternity, then the Brotherhood of Scottish Rite Freemasonry might just be the place for you.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;http://holliedemandsjustice-robertgreensblog.blogspot.com/&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;http://holliedemandsjustice-robertgreensblog.blogspot.com/2011/12/freemasons-and-hollie-greig-case.html#comment-form&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;http://holliedemandsjustice-robertgreensblog.blogspot.com/2012/01/coming-trial-monday-16th-january.html#comment-form&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;http://www.sacl.org.uk/&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;http://scottishlaw.blogspot.com/2012/01/record-12million-breach-of-peace.html&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-1487733060475452828?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/1487733060475452828/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=1487733060475452828' title='2 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1487733060475452828'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1487733060475452828'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/scotland-shames-ancient-noble-craft_10.html' title='Scotland Shames the Ancient &amp; Noble Craft'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>2</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-6461368238801487125</id><published>2012-01-10T07:08:00.005Z</published><updated>2012-01-10T07:22:57.746Z</updated><title type='text'>TV Celebrity Chef now ‘Celebrity Shoplifter’</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;TV’s smallest celebrity chef, Antony Worrall Thompson, confided to a press hack from the Ripoffs Gazette today that his arrest by the Henley-on-Thames Plod Squad last Friday, after being caught shoplifting at his local Pestco Greedy Grocer supermarket branch, was ‘a fair cop’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;According to medical reports submitted to the magistrate’s court in Thompson’s defence, the chef has been suffering from intermittent bouts of kleptomania since his flagship Chelsea restaurant ‘The Dog’s Bollocks’ went into administration last year after being sued by patrons suffering attacks of coronary thrombosis while feasting on the pièce de résistance house special dessert - Snickers Pie.&lt;br /&gt;This gastronomical abomination was once nominated by the Food Commission independent culinary watchdog as the most unhealthy dessert recipe in the history of unhealthy dessert recipes – with a single slice estimated to contain 110,250 calories and enough cholestrol to block a six inch sewer pipe, let alone a person’s cardiovascular system.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Worrall is a past master of the televised faux pas and ad-lib fuck ups - such as cremating the roast on live TV in the Great British Menu competition – then going on to moronically recommend the poisonous plant Henbane as a "tasty addition to salads" in mistake for the non-toxic herb Fat Hen in his Ploughman’s Lunch culinary recipes section of the August 2008 issue of the Gravediggers Monthly magazine – which resulted in the hospitalisation of scores of healthy eating New Age hedgerow scavengers. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The 96-year old Hobbit-sized chef has appeared on a variety of television shows including the BBC 2's iconic ‘Food and Drunk’; Ready-Steady-Steal; Fraggle Rock; Trumpton - and the ever popular ‘Flog It!’ – plus since being cautioned by police over his light-fingered bad habits is rumoured to have been offered a cameo appearance part in the new series of Porridge.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thompson admitted he felt like a right knobhead after being caught by the plods for stealing a couple of packs of Pestco’s Finest microwave-ready Cottage Pies and then claiming he thought they were free due the ‘Every Little Helps’ stickers – saying he intends to seek help to improve his amateurish petty larceny techniques and how to avoid the scrutiny of the in-store CCTV cameras – and had ordered a copy of Shoplifting for Dummies from Amazon.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;WPC Bev Titwank of Henley-on-Thames police opined to the media “It’s fucking lucky he wasn’t caught nicking shit in Saudi Arabia – cos he would have got his right hand chopped off for shoplifting there – and then he’d have a problem whisking up eggs for one of them fancy omelettes.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-6461368238801487125?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/6461368238801487125/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=6461368238801487125' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6461368238801487125'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6461368238801487125'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/tv-celebrity-chef-now-celebrity.html' title='TV Celebrity Chef now ‘Celebrity Shoplifter’'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-6534189407090282575</id><published>2012-01-09T07:34:00.002Z</published><updated>2012-01-09T12:39:31.568Z</updated><title type='text'>Neo-Cons Ramp Up Anti-Iran Propaganda</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Okay, since the ZioNazi military juggernaut started rolling towards its star-crossed morally-bankrupt fate in September of 2001, every fucker and their dog’s since been made acutely aware that one of the principle up-coming 2012 ‘conquests’ on the Great Satan’s regime change ‘wish list’ agenda is the Islamic Republic of Iran – a very handy piece of real estate that not only has lots of tasty natural resources – including zillions of barrels of oil and mega-therms of natural gas – but also borders the old Soviet bloc states and the north coast of the Persian Gulf -‘and’ dominates the strategic Straits of Hormuz bottleneck leading out into the Gulf of Oman and the Arabian Sea.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Added benefits of the desired regime change would result in a Western-compliant stooge / puppet leadership in Tehran (as per the Kermit Roosevelt CIA-plot of 1953 in ousting the ultra-patriotic Prime Minister Mohammad Mosadegh and planting the corrupt Reza Pahlavi stooge on the Peacock Throne) and re-secure Israel’s threatened Mid-East military hegemony - then once Syria’s been trounced back to the Stone Age like Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya – provide a land bridge military control corridor from the Mediterranean to Afghanistan.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This will see the US’s belligerent psychopaths ready and set for the Mexican stand-off and Third World War scenario with the Peoples Marxist Utopia of China as they start to ‘flex their muscles’ in the Asian-Pacific region in a blatant containment strategy designed to curtail the Middle Kingdom's growing military power.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hence the boosted black propaganda campaign by Tel Aviv’s kikesters and wicked Washington’s war-mongering neo-con Zionists - focusing on the more scent than substance fairy tale that Iran’s Republican Guard are pursuing a clandestine nuclear arsenal objective via the route of uranium enrichment behind a smokescreen of medical isotope research and electrical power generation - and have the scaremongering capacity to launch a democracy-devastating anxiety attack on Western civilisation within 45 minutes – that could prompt a massive rush on pharmacies for Xanax and a host of like Benzodiazepine medications.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thus, to forward the US’s Project for a New American Century / Foreign Policy Initiative schedule – all based on the Rothshite crime syndicate’s Israeli Manifest Destiny - Chosen People fantasy (‘chosen’ for what, exactly?) – this continued existential threat narrative has to be spun anew and the plot thickened – and any other Coalition of the Willing dupes (Brits, Frogs, Krauts and the wannabe Qataris) dragged in to give their felonious schemes a modest veneer of legitimacy on the world stage.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, now we have Cabbage Patch Dave Scameron sabre-rattling to the drumbeat of the latest warmongering misadventures stage managed by the Rothshite kikesters, with the UK’s Mid-East foreign policy decisions being outsourced to Israel – a practice adopted by Tony Bliar and his New Labour criminals in 2001 and a mantle now assumed by the Tory-dominated coalition – that will eventually prove to be Broken Britain’s undoing.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The ‘humanitarian intervention’ demolition of Libya was politically and morally wrong – Syria will prove the same – and any belligerent move towards Iran is festooned with geo-political tripwires – and fraught with omens of failure of Brobdingnagian proportions. Alas, Britain has stood up to be counted amongst the ranks of the top rated global pariahs who every fucker and their dog love to hate – the good ole US of A ‘Great Satan’ and the ZioNazi Israeli terrorist barbarians.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Here we have the shit-for-brains Tory stooges waving the banner of human rights in the face of the now-extinct Gaddafi regime – and currently at Syria’s Assad, whom they condemn for human rights and wrongs violations yet support even bigger despots in Saudi Arabia, Qatar and Bahrain – providing King Hamad bin Isa al Khalifa’s pro-Western Sunni-side up regime with latest killing technologies to repress the marginalised and disaffected majority population of Shite protesters calling for peace and democracy in their own country. Hmmm, and who said there’s no profit in hypocrisy?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;What would throw an iconic spanner into the Zionist’s entire false flag op’s and black propaganda works is if the Tehran leadership turned around and said “Okay, we’re gonna shut the Bushehr 1 atomic reactor down and then dismantle all our nuclear research facilities – including the uranium enrichment centrifuges - under the aegis of the IAEA – all in the interests of world peace.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Then the shit would hit the fan with the US and Israeli fascists turning round and screaming “Foul – it’s all a big trick - they've got the Bomb already!”- and still push for regime change and a first strike invasion.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Fuck the Rothshite bankster syndicate – and their sovereign state crime capital of Israel – founded on the stolen land of Palestine – and fuck the Great Satan too – and all the trans-national military-industrial warmongers – and Big Pharma – and the Monsanto GMO Frankenfoods conglomerates – and the kiddie-fiddling Vatican’s moral-preaching den of hypocrisy.&lt;br /&gt;Missed anyone out? &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-6534189407090282575?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/6534189407090282575/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=6534189407090282575' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6534189407090282575'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6534189407090282575'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/neo-cons-ramp-up-anti-iran-propaganda.html' title='Neo-Cons Ramp Up Anti-Iran Propaganda'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-9084539171973186787</id><published>2012-01-09T07:20:00.002Z</published><updated>2012-01-09T07:34:00.850Z</updated><title type='text'>New Labour to Reinvent ‘Crapitalism’</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Well, after 13 unlucky-for-some years of making a total fuck of the UK economy - (kick-started by Thatcher’s Tory mismanagement of our once-sceptred isle’s affairs in the 1980’s when she saw fit, in the manic throes of her menopausal madness, to de-industrialise Britain while simultaneously venting her belligerent spleen on the hapless Argies over who owns the Falklands) – the New Labour Party’s resurrected ship of state - whose helm is now under the dubious captaincy of one Ed Milipede (the Boy Wonder from the Planet Fuckwit) - have declared for the public record they’ve augured the solution to healing the nation’s festering economic woes.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hence following a mere nineteen months exiled into that political purdah reserved for losers, failures and generalised pariahs, New Labour – via the medium of business secretary designate Chuckabutty Ummanahh – the only person in Milipede’s shadow cabinet to boast the distinction of having passed his 11-plus in the ‘Bean Counting’ discipline of Arithmetic – have come up with a hare-brained scheme to re-invent Crapitalism by purging or reforming the crooked system of all it’s inherent banes.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;However this panacea of all ills will not involve putting their foot down and stamping out the bankster’s practices of fractional reserve lending to the Nth degree and charging usurious interest rates – but rather legislating censorship policies to tackle excessive corporate executive pay, which while generating no end of ill-feeling in boardrooms across the City towards corporate dispensation of political party donorship. might appeal to Broken Britain’s jobless and vindictive masses - and perhaps earn Labour the odd swing vote. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, we have Mr Chuckabutty Ummanahh, a former wheelbarrow mechanic who read up on the gospels of Adam Smith and Maynard Keynes at his local library – before budget austerity measures closed it for good - and intends to put Albion’s economy to rights by turning the floor of the House of Conmans into a debating battleground arguing over the pro’s and con’s of the bloated salaries and mega-bonus packages awarded to FTSE 100 executives through blatant cronyism and the prevalent boardroom culture of directors sat on one another’s remuneration committees.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;WTF? Seriously, is there any Parliamentary psychiatric oversight involved in regulating what these clowns propose?&lt;br /&gt;Perhaps the place to start would be in the public service arena – with the bloated salaries of local authority panjandrums and the quango exec’s that now seem to be infesting the corridors of traditional government responsibility.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Next order of business, a critical review of MP’s salaries: £65,738 quid per annum and all the expenses and palm-greasing honorariums from directorships – plus the snout-in-trough freebies forked out by political lobbyists.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As to cabinet ministers – well, at a bloated £134,565 per annum they’re definitely mopping up the gravy while rubbing the electorate’s noses in the brown smelly stuff (shit - nor Marmite) – especially so when the Department of Works &amp; Pensions Minister Iain Duncan Smut has decreed in his infinite wisdom that the common or garden unemployed peasantry can manage to live on £60:50p per week jobseekers allowance. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And that contrasts very sharply with the fact we have cabinet ministers and MPs raking in £2,587 and £1,264 per week respectively – remunerative amounts that bear no relation to performance and simply serve to further undermine the voting publics’ lack of trust in the entire stacked, corruption-ridden system.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Baz ‘Tourettes’ McSkanger, director of the Kunt-Watch government abuse monitor who presided over the High Pay Commission - set up in 2010 as a lip-service review of the flawed 1995 Greenbury Report – to investigate bloated boardroom salaries, informed one press hack from the Ripoffs Gazette that “New Labour’s ‘responsible crapitalism’ platform’s riddled wiv more fuckin’ holes than a pikey’s colander an’ totally oxymoronic due the very nature of the fact that the incongruous principles of crapitalism are irresponsible. Just read yer fuckin’ Marx fer the low-down. Tories, Lib-Dums or New Labour – they’re all a bunch of poxy twats an’ can all kiss my hairy arse then eff’ off, eat shit an’ die.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-9084539171973186787?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/9084539171973186787/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=9084539171973186787' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/9084539171973186787'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/9084539171973186787'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/new-labour-to-reinvent-crapitalism.html' title='New Labour to Reinvent ‘Crapitalism’'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-6889559700096202480</id><published>2012-01-08T09:31:00.007Z</published><updated>2012-01-08T11:40:11.209Z</updated><title type='text'>Government to Ban ‘Critical Thinking’</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The sinister government front group Demos is shitting kittens that children are sourcing cyberspace websites to question what they’re being force fed by rote and indoctrinated with in school classrooms like so many pate foie gras geese being reluctantly stuffed to the gills with seven kinds of crap.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A report in the Daily Shitraker reflects Demos’ panic state at what they term conspiracy theories – specifically any and all critical thought that questions the status quo and official establishment consensus, broadcast by the Zionist-owned media networks and newspapers.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Demos is on a mission and out to abolish critical thinking in all its terrifying forms, preaching a mantra that students should only believe what the government and its compliant mainstream media muppets have to say.&lt;br /&gt;Apropos, if we pursue that policy then we’re going to end up believing arseholes like Tony Bliar and his dodgy weapons of mass distraction dossier - and that Muslims hate our pork pies and democratic freedoms (whatever the fuck they are in this panopticon surveillance Big Brother society).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, it was only the life-saving (sanity-saving, perhaps) device of critical thinking that got us out of believing in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy – and monsters under the bed – and fearing the dark – and the fiction that Dr David Kelly committed suicide in the Grassy Knoll Woods by slashing his left wrist with a blunt gardening knife. Likewise, that Mohammed al Patsy and his three Yorkshire cohorts blew up the London Tube trains and a double decker bus (and themselves) on 7/7 while an anti-terrorism practice drill was being performed at the very same targets – and neither Mossad nor MI6 had sweet fuck all to do with it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And this is what has got the government petrified - students becoming engaged in critical thinking processes at a geometric ‘avalanche’ rate and questioning the official version of everything that goes ‘bump’ in the night.&lt;br /&gt;Why not too, since a succession of shifty governments, present and past, have been caught lying and whitewashing all manner of scandals – from susceptible school kids being bombarded with black propaganda - likes Al Bore’s An Inconvenient Pile of Bullshit attempt to sell the anthropogenic global warming / Climategate scam. All are now totally devoid of credibility – their moral franchise pawned and bankrupt.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Demos is a front for the insidious Common Purpose social engineering ‘charity’, who mesmerise their stooges via neuro-linguistic programming, all in the advancement of Britain’s role in the a Federalised EUSSR and the New World Order. &lt;br /&gt;(The Common Purpose brain-washing clique should not be confused with Common Porpoise – a genuine charity that caters to the needs of distressed pelagic mammals – as evidenced by its Dozy Dolphin logo).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, Demos and Co, whose logo includes the Illuminati all-seeing eye of Horus (Golden Mean) within its design, are tasked with convincing the masses of unwashed peasants to believe the fables that officialdom foists on them.&lt;br /&gt;Intrinsically they act as a platform for the ZioNazi elitists who wish to drastically alter society, eliminate our freedoms, and sacrifice British sovereignty and independence in the pathetic pursuit of the pipe dream of global government – a fatally-flawed concept, doomed from inception as evidenced by the current plight of the EUSSR 27 member Debtocracy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So it’s on the official educational agenda to abolish the facility of critical thinking and reinforce official propaganda through the school room curriculum – and in the process demonize any fucker and their dog who dares challenge the fidelity of our chain of disingenuous, corrupt governments and their criminal activities - while they proceed to use stooge organisations like Common Purpose and Demos to infiltrate schools and act as Thought Police. &lt;br /&gt;No government wants the sheeple, the common herd, evolving the facility of thinking for themselves, then having the audacity to start asking lots of awkward questions and bucking the status quo.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Awkward questions such as why, if there’s nothing to hide, did Lord Whitewash of the Coverups, who chaired the corrupt inquiry into the David Kelly assissted suicide scandal, secretly barred the release of all medical records, post mortem results and unpublished evidence for 70 years?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Same again with the Dunblane massacre, where 33rd Degree Scottish Rite Fremason Lord Willy Cullen of Shitekirk, tasked with the ‘inquiry’ into known paedo’ Thomas Hamilton – a procurer of young boys for his Masonic mates - going a bit squirly and murdering sixteen children – imposed a 100 year secrecy order on the details of the case – to conceal the depth of the kiddie fiddling scandal.&lt;br /&gt;Just like Tony Bliar putting the blocks on the findings of the UK Plod Squad’s Operation Ore investigation into rampant paedophilia – before half of the House of Conmans membership got arrested.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Really, the vermin currently infesting Parliament and the House of Conmans – specifically the Conservative Friends of Israel, and their Lib-Dum Friends of Israel coalition partners – and too Labour’s Friends of Israel Club – want any fucker or their dog questioning why the government denounce despotic pariah regimes throughout the Mid-East for their horrendous human rights and wrongs records yet never voice one word of censure or criticism but conversely ‘applaud’ the sins of the psychopaths running the Rothshite bankster syndicate’s crime capital terrorist state of Israel as a shining example of democracy while the IDF and Knesset’s thugs visit the most disgusting racist atrocities upon the marginalised Palestinian populations of the West Bank and the Gaza Strip – with the latter besieged behind the Great Apartheid Wall inside the biggest concentration camp on the planet that surpasses anything Hitler’s Nazis ever conceived.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, little fucking wonder Demos are attempting to shove shit uphill and ban crtitical thinking that might question and challenge the veracity of the established superstitions and taboos – and broadcast the fact that the government we live under are dishonest and intolerable.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt;Though if it wasn’t for critical thinkers such as Copernicus and Galileo, and too that brilliant heretic Martin Luther’s critical thinking capacity that prompted him to question the Church’s ingrained corrupt practices of simony and sodomy – and nailing his ninety-five theses to the door of Wittenberg Church in 1517 - then we’d all still be kissing a Roman Pope’s arse and kowtowing to priests – miserable in our ignorance – even though our Earth is the centre of the Universe – and God loves us all.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh yes, critical thinking and science be damned – the authority of the day, Bishop Ussher, delved into his vast resources of wisdom and proclaimed that the Earth was created on October 23rd, 4004 BC – a calculation improved upon by Sir John Lightfoot who reckoned the actual time of Creation was 09:00 am sharp (GMT).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day: Who thinks Posh Dave Scameron’s Big Society concept’s a pretty good idea – even though it stinks of Communism? Just a pity the bastards trying to sell it are the same bunch of fucking hypocrites who ‘Broke Britain’. A coalition government comprised of scumbags who, in no way, represent the interests of the voting electorate they lord it over.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Beware too Scameron as he spews forth a flood of meaningless broad spectrum facile soundbites like the numpty ‘Big Society’ idée fixe – ‘There is more to life than GDP’ - and - ‘We’re all up shitcreek together’. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap &amp; Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals - otters or voles - were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-6889559700096202480?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/6889559700096202480/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=6889559700096202480' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6889559700096202480'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6889559700096202480'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/government-to-ban-critical-thinking.html' title='Government to Ban ‘Critical Thinking’'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-7044050973778897552</id><published>2012-01-07T09:20:00.007Z</published><updated>2012-01-07T10:00:52.379Z</updated><title type='text'>Saudi: One Small Step Towards Civilisation</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The backward Third World desert shithole, designated in atlases as the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, today followed in the innovative footsteps of the Peoples Marxist Utopia of China in making a Maoist style ‘Great Leap Forward’ quantum jump towards joining the rest of the known Universe in the 21st Century.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The strict Wahhabist autocratic state, in which goats have more civil rights than the chador-clad Saudi bitches, has achieved a humanitarian first by passing legislation that only women will be permitted to work in lingerie stores and sell the erotic merchandise to other females of the species – with all cross-dressing Arab transvestites now having to shop for their silky undergarments in Ali’s Ibn Zamel &amp; Istimna Emporium down at Riyadh’s Camel Hump Mega Mall.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Perhaps the discerning Western expatriate might comment “So fuckin’ what – yer can’t see owt under those thick black flannel an’ felt burkas anyways – an’ if yer ever manage ter peek round her veil yer find out she’s only got one eye an’ all her teeth fell out wiv gallopin’ gob rot years before – an’ her snatch stinks like an Arbroath smokie.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely, Saudi womanhood is delighted by the Royal Decree bestowed upon the sought-after legislation by none other than the 96-year old King Abdullah bin Fat Git himself, which now mandates that male shop assistants will henceforth be banned from participating in the questionable pleasure of serving female customers with their selections of erotic lingerie.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"It's about time, it's been one fuck of a long struggle and the authorities have finally come to their senses," announced Jeddah’s Radio Bala’a il A’air journalist Ms Zeenat Sharmuta – adding that any woman who could afford to would shop abroad rather than face the embarrassment of trying on a new bra in front of a male counter assistant.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“While the rest of the civilised world has just entered the New Year of 2012, our intellectually-challenged country, dominated spiritually, and hence socio-politically too, by the Grand Mufti’s Islamic dogma and the Mutaween religious police, is struggling to drag its backward arse into the Middle Ages year of 1433. But this is a good step forward as I do not want to be buying my crotchless panties and peephole bras from some dog-wanking chauvinist fallāḥ who gets off fantasising over me.”&lt;br /&gt;“Insha’ Allah, at this rate of female liberalisation we might be able to drive a car and go out in public alone – and take a shower without clothes on – before 2025.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Saudi women who can work are usually the elitists, educated abroad and employed in professional careers in the medical or government service arenas - whereas the new law could potentially create up to 40,000 work opportunities for ordinary Saudi women who have hitherto had no job-related training - apart from washing laundry, cooking and playing the compliant three-hole whore for their husbands. &lt;br /&gt;Hence the legions of suppressed reports of cases of clinical depression and the numerous psycho-neurosis and claustrophobia-related suicides amongst the Prozac-addicted Saudi women simply crying out for freedom and a breath of fresh air – and to paraphrase Oscar Wilde’s words “Women who looked with such a wistful eye upon that little tent of blue which prisoners call the sky - and at every drifting cloud that went with sails of silver by”. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;King Abdullah bin Fat Git’s decree is viewed by many as royal support for a social revolution that is being instigated and pushed through in the face of fierce opposition from Saudi’s top clerics - who are totally opposed to women working outside the home. &lt;br /&gt;The kingdom's Grand Mufti, Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer, has warned shop owners that regardless of what King Abdullah says, employing women is a crime and prohibited by Islamic Sharia law – and an offence that will be pursued and punished by the country’s barbaric fascist version of the Inquisition – the manky Mutaween religious police.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day: Hmmm, and people complain about Broken Britain and CCTV cameras and the encroaching surveillance society. In the theocratic, supremacist, misogynist, homophobic, racist, torturing, expansionist, terror-funding, negative adjective-prone dictatorship of Saudi Arabia, women who get caught moaning in the throes of eroticism and achieve an orgasm during a masturbation or lesbian sex session get stoned (to death with cobbles – not high on ganja) by the Monty Pythonesque ‘Mutaween’ religious police. Nice people.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-7044050973778897552?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/7044050973778897552/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=7044050973778897552' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/7044050973778897552'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/7044050973778897552'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/saudi-one-small-step-towards.html' title='Saudi: One Small Step Towards Civilisation'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-6721065855748558837</id><published>2012-01-07T09:10:00.004Z</published><updated>2012-01-07T09:19:38.622Z</updated><title type='text'>2012 Green Olympics Stink of Hypocrisy</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Okay, the proverbial cat’s outa the bag an’ it ain’t going back in either – well, not in one piece anyways – unless we get the  likes of celebrity moggy-binner Mary Bale on the job. &lt;br /&gt;But at least we now know why Britain’s Broken and Posh Dave Scameron and his Libservative coalition have slapped the hapless peasants with a double helping of austerity measures – not only to pay for the demolition of Libya’s once-vaunted infrastructure and the overthrow of the Gaddafi regime – and fund Lizzie’s ‘Royal Parasite’ 60th Jubilee this coming June - ‘plus’ the £££ mega-bucks consuming 2012 Olympic stadium and village – but to foot the bill for the 4,000-odd brand new top of the range saloons that have been ordered to escort VIP over-privileged dignitaries and officials to and from the Olympic events.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, is this a whopping boost for the UK’s morbid auto industry? Sorry, afraid not – it’s an order of 4,000 BMWs to be supplied by the crafty Krauts - our historical enemies in Germany.&lt;br /&gt;For fuck’s sake – 4,000 motors – why can’t this arrogant cabal of VIP elitist twats with their exaggerated sense of privilege get off their lazy fat arses and just jump on a Boris Bike or one of the ‘inspirationally-named’ NBFL double deckers - or risk getting mugged on the underground - like the rest of we peons?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Okay, one objection at a time. Why the fuck is the Olympic Committee doing Broken Britain’s auto manufacturing industry out of jobs and work? Why are the 2012 Olympics vaunted green credentials more at scent than substance? Why do thousands of foreign VIP types need to be ferried around London in chauffeur-driven BMW saloons along dedicated road lanes – such as existed for the Moscow Politburo and KGB under the extinct Soviet-Marxist ‘all men are equal’ regime? Why indeed.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, while the games spectators are being urged to abandon their cars and embrace public transport, London Mayor Bonkers Boris Nonsense, working alongside the Ministry for Hypocrisy intend to dip into the public coffers and fork out an excess of £120 million quid for 4,000 BMW 3 and 5 Series saloons worth £30,000-odd nicker apiece - then license them to beat the traffic by tear-arsing up and down specially reserved ‘games lanes’ across the capital. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ms Beverly Titwank, who chairs the London Assembly Transport Committee, opined to one press hack from the Spendthrifts Gazette that the purchase of this BMW fleet went against the ethos of the Games. &lt;br /&gt;“We were promised the 2012 Games would be the greenest Olympics since the Spartans got done over at Thermopylae and only electric vehicles were being considered – now we’re getting saddled with a fleet of smoke-belching Beemers.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Whoever has sanctioned this purchase of four thousand crap German saloons when we have such a good public transport system needs to be sectioned – or sacked – or both. Okay, maybe a few officials do need secure transport but shipping new cars in from Germany is not only extremely bad news for the environment but also British industry.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“All the athletes will be shacking up at the Olympic Village and won’t need to travel to events, so these Beemers are really for the scumbag politicians and hangers-on – and no doubt will be getting flogged off post games at next to bugger all ‘competitive prices’ by the Ministry of Graft &amp; Corruption.”&lt;br /&gt;“Really, why can’t we ferry all these VIPs around in pedicabs powered by teams of illegal Albanian pikeys and out-of-collar yobs?”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-6721065855748558837?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/6721065855748558837/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=6721065855748558837' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6721065855748558837'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6721065855748558837'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/2012-green-olympics-stink-of-hypocrisy.html' title='2012 Green Olympics Stink of Hypocrisy'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-5675613087619264321</id><published>2012-01-06T08:11:00.004Z</published><updated>2012-01-06T08:30:32.957Z</updated><title type='text'>Renta-Kill Backs Euthanasia Law Change</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Helping Hand Snuff Commission - set up and funded by campaigners who want to be shut of elderly relatives either putting a damper on their lifestyles or draining precious financial resources by being boarded in exorbitantly-priced private care homes - claim the current non-existent legislative regulations governing provisions for euthanasia – and the ‘shelf life expired’ 1961 Suicide Act – are simply no longer fit for purpose in this age of socially-accepted self-harming culture.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;One member of the controversial ‘Licensed Murder’ commission, Mrs Candida Ffinch-Gargoyle, the Tory MP for Suffolk’s stockbroker belt ‘Pikeys Crotch’ constituency, informed a press hack from the Parricide Gazette that “Broken Britain’s current laws do not cater for helping our ageing loved ones to shake off their mortal coil – and if you call up this Renta-Kill outfit on the phone they claim only to exterminate vermin and have no facilities for dealing with pensioners determined to hang on at Death’s door until Hell freezes over, making every other sod’s life a bloody misery.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The commission, funded by the best-selling author of the 'Dorkworld' series, Sir Terry Ratshitt - who now suffers from advanced Alzheimer's Disease and can’t remember what the fuck he was writing before lunch – is currently chaired by no other than the scandal-ridden Lord Charlie Falconer, a former Justice Secretary and thick-as-thieves flatmate of international war criminal Tony Bliar – who entered the annals of infamy when he okayed Alastair Campbell’s dodgy dossiers - specially spiced up by Ahmed ‘Watch yer Pockets’ Chalabi’s Curry House Take-Away to justify the invasion of Iraq.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dog wankers like Falconer besides, Helping Hand’s advisory membership is comprised of a wide range of experts on ‘death’ – which include army snipers, Mossad assassins, morticians, coffin makers, coroners, pathologists, licensed undertakers, a mix of priests and vicars, grave diggers, body bag manufacturers - and the 96-year old Guinness World Record holder ‘Mr Organ Transplant’ himself, Bazzer McScrunt, President of the Coffin Dodgers Union.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In opposition, Ronnie Shipman, campaign director of Care Not Killing, a loose-knit alliance of atheists, reformed serial killers, faith and disability groups, opined to the media that “The entire effin’ study has bin undertaken by a bunch of self-seekin’ twats wot wants ter get rid of their Granny – by fair means or foul.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Wot they wants here in the UK is the same as wot they got in Zurich, their very own Dignitas Clinic where they can sign Granny up fer a medically-approved suicide pact and let the old bag simply conk out while munchin’ on a box of Swiss chocolate liqueurs – plus have the chance ter win a genuine Alpine cuckoo clock in the daily lottery.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“If this Libservative coalition government’s not made enough of a right fuck up of things since May 2010, an’ they pass legislation ter legalise suicide – especially assisted suicides in cases of someone bein’ terminally ill - then yer gonna have a bunch of oldies getting’ shoved under buses an’ metro trams – an’ that’s not only gonna prove ter be very messy but also a major cause of traffic jams and diversions.”&lt;br /&gt;“Anyways, wiv me bein’ dragged up as a Catholic an’ the Vatican sayin’ that suicide’s a big no-no, I’m definitely not up fer getting’ me name in St Peter’s big black Naughty Book an’ end up getting’ sent ter Hell fer all fuckin’ eternity.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In response to Shipman’s diatribe, Mrs Ffinch-Gargoyle commented “Hmmm, he’s not got my 89-year old bloody mother to look after 24/7 – and the Somali au pair girl Piretta’s got her damn hands full taking care of the horses, cleaning the windows and doing the gardening.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Never mind this ‘terminally ill’ criterion – what about ‘terminal bloody nuisance’ I’d like to know?”&lt;br /&gt;“Every time I speak to Mummy about a trip to Dignitas in Zurich she starts going on about waiting for the summer months and wants a proper assisted suicide - just like MI5 did for Dr David Kelly – so she has the chance to croak at her own pace on a nice sunny afternoon sat under a tree in the Grassy Knoll Woods with her knitting and a glass of Lucozade – and some nice easy to swallow tablets that will make her go to sleep - and not having her wrists slashed with a blunt gardening knife, getting blood all over her new cardigan.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-5675613087619264321?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/5675613087619264321/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=5675613087619264321' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/5675613087619264321'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/5675613087619264321'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/renta-kill-backs-euthanasia-law-change.html' title='Renta-Kill Backs Euthanasia Law Change'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-4336815753773489942</id><published>2012-01-06T08:01:00.001Z</published><updated>2012-01-06T08:11:12.241Z</updated><title type='text'>Perma-Tan MP Calls White ‘De New Black’</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Shadow health minister Diane Abbott, the incumbent Labour MP for Blackney who is notorious for her capacity of opening mouth before engaging brain, yesterday apologised to everyone and their proverbial dog for racist comments she made on the Twatter social networking site.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ms Abbott, the first woman with a permanent suntan to be elected as an MP, later added insult to injury by Twatting that her remark had been taken out of context as she had only called a spade ‘a spade’ – even if it was really a shovel.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Blackney North and Poke Spewington MP, whose ego-driven blind ambition saw her make a failed bid for the Labour Party leadership in the 2010 contest, had apparently used the Twatter network to post comments that "Dese honky trash scumbags jest love playin’ divide an’ rule. Jest read ya Kipling. Dis is all tactics wot’s as old as slavery an’ colonialism – an’ dey can kiss my big brown ass if dey think dey can get away wiv labellin’ me a black community leader.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Abbott’s offending remarks were made in reply to an exchange of posts on Twatter, which concerned media coverage of the pathetic Met’s Plod Squad incompetence as being the root cause of the 19-year delay in convicting two of the murderers of Stephen Lawrence – and comments therein that complained over the use of the term "the black community" which seemed to cast aspersions upon Posh Dave Scameron’s concept of multiculturalism and his much-vaunted Big Society integration.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Nadhim Zahawi, the Conservative MP for Anne Hathaway’s Cottage, being a bit of a ‘dark horse’ himself, was fingered as the ideal Tory choice to kick start a war of words shit fight with Ed Millipede’s Labour Party - and issued a call that the loose-lipped Abbott should be sacked for – quote: "intolerable racist remarks and inciting hatred against white people". &lt;br /&gt;"If this was a honky member of the House of Conmans saying that all black people want to do bad things then he or she would have been forced to resign within the hour or got sacked.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Labour Party spokeswoman Fellattia Mingerot issued a press release from party leader Ed Millipede which stated that “I disagree with Diane's tweet on Twatter and consider it wrong to make sweeping generalisations about any race, creed, or colour – and so should Diane considering all the time she spends at the Whitehall tanning parlour.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-4336815753773489942?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/4336815753773489942/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=4336815753773489942' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4336815753773489942'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4336815753773489942'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/perma-tan-mp-calls-white-de-new-black.html' title='Perma-Tan MP Calls White ‘De New Black’'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-2136766358440244145</id><published>2012-01-05T07:42:00.005Z</published><updated>2012-01-05T07:50:20.119Z</updated><title type='text'>R U a Jobless Crim? Join the Plods!</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Are your past sins catching up and taking their timely toll? Are you discovering your criminal record a handicap to securing lucrative employment in the current jobless depression landscape? Not a problem, worry no longer – do what hundreds of other scallies have – join Broken Britain’s ‘broken’ police force.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Following a Freedom of Information request filed by the Daily Shitraker gutter press tabloid, figures were released by 33 of the 43 forces in the UK which reveal that a minimum of 944 serving police and community support officers on their books alone have a conviction for at least one crime apiece – the index of which ranges across the entire spectrum of the felony alphabet - from arson to genocide to zoophilia.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Cambridgeshire, the City of London, Gloucestershire, South Wales, Northamptonshire, Smegmashire, West Yorkshire, Warwickshire and Wiltshire did not provide figures on the grounds that such would be a waste of time as 90% of their respective Plod Squads are composed entirely of criminal types.&lt;br /&gt;Scumborough-on-Sea replied to the request with a fax stating “Fuck off an’ mind yer own effin’ business or you’ll get yer legs broken” – while Scotland’s crime and kiddie fiddling capital of Scaberdeenshire answered with “See you, Jimmy – kiss ma tartan arse”.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Britain's largest force, the Metropolitan Plod Squad, has more than 34,000 police and community support staff comprising its ranks - and admitted that 356 officers and 41 PCSOs – including two detective superintendents and a chief inspector - had criminal convictions. However, apparently the majority of these were for simple traffic offences – such as car theft, hit and run incidents and driving while shit-faced - but also included isolated incidences of burglary, drug dealing, rape, assault, perverting the course of justice, forgery, armed robbery, domestic violence – and one case of fishing without a licence.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A partial scary list – labelled as ‘horrifying’ by Mrs Chlamydia Ffinch-Mingerot, director of Plod-Watch, the police corruption sentinel charity – revealed the following statistics for the UK’s Plod Squads. Kent (49 convictions); Devon and Cornwall (44); Essex (42); South Yorkshire (35); Hampshire (31) and West Midlands (27).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Speaking to one press hack from the Skullduggery Gazette, Mrs Ffinch-Mingerot commented, with sarcasm aforethought, “Well, that little revelation provides a stellar piece of reassurance to let the public know they’re safe from criminal types, I think not.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“When I spoke to Home Secretary Theresa Maybe on this matter yesterday she did admit in confidence, on the proviso I don’t tell more than a dozen, that an excess of 230 police officers up and down our green and pleasant land are in breach not only of the seven deadly sins but also the total Ten Commandments – with this bunch of miscreants currently on parole or probation - or penalised with Community Service Orders for their criminal actions – yet still wearing the blue uniform and a plant pot helmet.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely, in response, the Tory-run Home Office pointed out with visible relish that guidelines issued in 2003 by New Labour’s Home Secretary David Blunkett had proved to be fatally flawed – a matter of the blind leading the sighted, so to speak.&lt;br /&gt;‘Blunkett’s Law’ as the precepts became known, stated that all Plod Squad officers should have a past record of proven integrity – such as coming from Sheffield and being a Labour Party member – or belonging to the Boy Scouts or Salvation Army – and never having their name entered in the Sex Offenders Register – due their everyday interaction with criminal types and hence vulnerability to corrupting pressures (large cash-in-hand bribes / blackmail) from career villains to reveal information and destroy prosecution evidence against them.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The 2003 guidance states that the UK’s Plod Squads should reject applicants with convictions for more serious offences – alike piracy, rape, pillage and murder - unless there were ‘exceptionally compelling circumstances’ – such as the candidate belonging to the same Masonic Lodge as the Chief Constable.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Juxtaposed with this litany of graft and corruption, an excess of 130 Metropolitan Plod Squad officers were allowed to resign in 2010 rather than facing misconducts panels – with a further 43 sacked outright for their sins – and none being part of the afore-mentioned 900-plus who have criminal records.&lt;br /&gt;Now, does that give us a frightening insight into the composition and moral integrity of Broken Britain’s police force – or what?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-2136766358440244145?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/2136766358440244145/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=2136766358440244145' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2136766358440244145'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2136766358440244145'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/r-u-jobless-crim-join-plods.html' title='R U a Jobless Crim? Join the Plods!'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-4675415373084558652</id><published>2012-01-04T09:22:00.005Z</published><updated>2012-01-04T09:39:27.101Z</updated><title type='text'>US GOP Candidates all Psychos</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;With the exception of the only true patriot and sane contender among this mongrel bunch of psychopathic Republican presidential candidates being Congressman Ron Paul of Texas, we are inclined to ask “Where the fuck does the GOP get these people – a mental institute or Fraggle Rock?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Okay, the illustrious Dr Paul besides - who as an honest man with America’s best interests at heart and not those of the Shylock banksters and trans-national military-industrial corporate elitists - has less than a cat in Hell’s chance of winning the Republican primaries to stand as the GOP candidate - all the rest of the wannabes are relying on the Zionist bloc’s endorsement and sponsorship votes – plus the mega-bucks Rothshite crime family donor shekels to finance their presidential bids – hence kowtow to the Israel First line of obeisance imposed by AIPAC and the legions of other pro-kikester lobbyist cabals infesting God’s own country.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thus the reason we have the ZioNazi arse-kissing club likes of  Michele ‘Bonkers’ Bachmann – (if this moronic dildo had another brain cell it would die of loneliness) screaming hysterically from Washington’s rooftops to initiate a pre-emptive strike on Iran – cos Tel Aviv want it so.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Same tune with Newt Gingrich – the corruption-ridden ‘Grinch’ that’s promised to spoil every fucker’s Christmas and nuke Iran as soon as the current White House incumbent - Kenyan cuckoo Barky O’Barmy-Soetoro-Shabazz – has left the building. &lt;br /&gt;The Grinch’s first order of business as he walks through the Oval Office door will be to direct the Joint Chiefs to go to Devcon 1 and blast the shit out of Iran with a series of 10 and 20 megaton-tipped cruise missiles – just to keep Israeli PM Bobo Nuttyahoo and his nutty Knesset’s homicidal maniacs appeased – and add Greater Persia to their New World Order’s Mid-East conquest list.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;What a bunch indeed – and all suffering from the ego surpasses intellect syndrome. 300 million Yanks to choose from and this is the best they can do? Michele ‘Batshit’ Bachmann; Newt Gingrich; Herman Cain; Mitt Romney; Jon Huntsman; Rick Perry; Cruddy Roemer – and last but not least, the graft and corruption-ridden witless wonder from Pennsylvania - ‘Rabid Rick’ Santorum who has jumped into the 2012 New Year campaign Iowa arena feet first with his pro-Zionist supplication to bomb the shit out of the Iranian nuclear facilities – whatever they’re processing.&lt;br /&gt;So, Tehran’s fucked whichever of the clots gets nominated.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh well, a sneak all-out nuclear first strike by the US and Israel will shut Iran’s nuclear potential down a damn sight faster than the current half-arsed approach of impotent sanctions and having Mossad’s scumbag maniacs bumping off the country’s nuclear scientists and engineers in drive-by shootings, poisonings, kidnappings and car bomb attacks.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Grand Old Party, eh – they should rename it the Total Fucking Insanity Party and front Homer Simpson as their candidate of choice. Well, Democrat or Republican, apart from the Duff addiction at least he’s got a genuine US of A birth certificate and a kosher social security number – along with the pre-requisite moron IQ that matches the rest of the GOP clowns who have been prepped to ignore the moral restraints of reality to forward the Project for a New American Century / Foreign Policy Initiative whatever the cost to the global environment – or that elusive ‘pantomime’ concept of ‘world peace’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, every fucker and their proverbial dog involved with this kikester-corrupted Republican circus without a tent are reciting the Zionist litany of ‘Bomb Iran’ like a bunch of mumbling penitents awaiting the sting of the Inquisition’s lash. Yet there’s nary a mention of Israel’s illicit and covert nuclear arsenal – nor their dogmatic refusal to allow International Atomic Energy Agency inspectors anywhere near their nuclear facilities – and stonewalling any and all demands that they sign the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And in the background – visible as a sore thumb – we have the Great Satan – the Beast of Hypocrisy itself – the good ole US of A - the only nation ever psycho enough to permit their military to test a couple of nukes on a civilian population (Japan / Hiroshima and Nagasaki) – just to see how much damage they’d actually do. The mind boggles at their potential for justifiable criminality where public perception management is concerned - alike Libya – executed in the name of humanitarian intervention.&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, as the Cheshire Cat confided to Alice: “We’re all mad here”.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Fuck the Rothshite cabal’s ZioNazi sovereign state crime capital of Israel and their absurd Chosen People pretence conjured to steal Palestine from its rightful historic population – and their corrupt ‘Four B’s’ stranglehold on US politics: Bribery, Blackmail, Bludgeons and Bodybags.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-4675415373084558652?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/4675415373084558652/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=4675415373084558652' title='1 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4675415373084558652'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4675415373084558652'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/us-gop-candidates-all-psychos.html' title='US GOP Candidates all Psychos'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-6386738171636597005</id><published>2012-01-03T08:14:00.003Z</published><updated>2012-01-03T11:45:17.238Z</updated><title type='text'>Hug-a-Hoodie the Cure for Yob Crime</title><content type='html'>Applying the facility of 20/20 hindsight it has been postulated – with a biased view towards public perception management - by arrogant know-alls from the Common Purpose social engineering group that the post-teen Salford yobster who stands charged with shooting and murdering Indian student Anju Bidve for a bit of a lark on Boxing Day – and on Monday morning identified himself as ‘Psycho’ Stapleton before Manchester Magistrate’s Court - might have turned out to be a model member of polite society had Tory Leader Posh Dave Scameron lived up to at least one of his 2010 campaign trail promises / boasts - by getting off his complacent arse and setting a good example – specifically going out and ‘hugging a few hoodies’- and 'Psycho' in particular.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-6386738171636597005?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/6386738171636597005/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=6386738171636597005' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6386738171636597005'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6386738171636597005'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/hug-hoodie-cure-for-yob-crime.html' title='Hug-a-Hoodie the Cure for Yob Crime'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-4229369091275857030</id><published>2012-01-03T07:29:00.004Z</published><updated>2012-01-03T07:43:59.716Z</updated><title type='text'>UK Plod Squads Dial 999</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In what has got to constitute the most embarrassing scandal to hit the UK’s Plod Squads since the last embarrassing scandal, a very hush-hush secret report leaked to the Daily Shitraker by whistle-blowing moles working inside the Ministry of Fuckups has revealed that hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of equipment and personal belongings have been stolen from police stations up and down our once-sceptred isle. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A sampling of thefts that occurred over the past year from inside the supposedly-secure confines of police stations and their adjoining car parks include handcuffs, uniforms, radar guns, dogs, riot shields, a carton of new tasers, a battering ram, rubber bullets, pickaxe handles, Stinger spike strips, pepper spray aerosols waterboarding kits, and in one incident a motorway patrol car – with two plods still inside. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As per usual in matters concerning gross incompetence and large blots on professional escutcheon, Greater Manchester Police topped the stigma list yet again as being the worst hit, with light fingered scallies nicking a £10,000 quid patrol car - and a £30,000 private BMW saloon belonging to Chief Constable Des ‘Evening All’ Dorksbury – which, thanks to a manufacturer’s RFID security locator chip being fitted, later turned up half buried in a Mauritanian sand dune along the route of the Paris to Dakar Rally.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Mrs Candida Ffinch-Gargoyle, director of the Taxpayers' Alliance – a watchdog group that go to great pains to campaign for greater efficiency within publicly-funded organisations – informed press hacks “What a disgrace. These people are forever sermonising to the peasant masses concerning crime prevention precautions and lobbying for security companies to sell us all manner of anti-burglar paraphernalia, yet they’re getting robbed themselves left, right and centre. Really, do these uniformed clots ever lock anything up?”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"This leaked Ministry of Fuckups report provides a complete index of stolen items which is staggering when we consider we have the numpty plods giving out advice yet can't seem to avoid being ripped off by the very criminals they’re paid to catch.”&lt;br /&gt;“It’s the same across the entire swathe of the UK – and sounds like the plotting of some organised Thieves-R-Us outfit when they go round targeting police stations and stealing high value physical evidence, supposedly locked away for use in criminal prosecutions.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Then we have this clusterfuck incidence where a gang of scallies set fire to the Smegmadale-on-Sea station’s wheelie bin on Bonfire Night and while the plods were outside organising their car park hose pipe to extinguish the blaze, the thieves entered the unmanned premises, unlocked the cells and released their mates, then made off with a mixed bag of warrant cards, the CCTV monitor and recording unit, three bicycles and a bag of crumpets – plus K9 PC Rover – the station’s German Shepherd guard dog.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-4229369091275857030?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/4229369091275857030/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=4229369091275857030' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4229369091275857030'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4229369091275857030'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/uk-plod-squads-dial-999.html' title='UK Plod Squads Dial 999'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-283505375275310077</id><published>2012-01-03T07:25:00.001Z</published><updated>2012-01-03T07:29:00.251Z</updated><title type='text'>A Catharsis of Socio-Political Discontent</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, it was a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year as per usual for the Royals at Sandringham – especially so with Prince Philip fresh back from having a final warranty service and passing his MOT for another year.&lt;br /&gt;Same for the bonus-fuelled Rothshite crime syndicate’s banksters - and too the high-on-the-hog political elitist stooges – with their collective snouts and trotters sunk deep in the trough’s cornucopia – a fact guaranteed by their dominant control and dogmatic preservation of the class-prejudiced capitalist status quo.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Meanwhile we, the hapless tax-paying common herd – the sheeple – the useless eaters, the drawers of water and hewers of firewood - burdened with a double helping of festive season Tory austerity measures (thanks to Chancellor George ‘Fuckwit’ Osborne) expedited our Xmas preparations at best by venturing out to bleed the ATM down to overdraft level and load up the credit cards – or were left to shelter in homeless dejection on some wind-swept landfill site under a sheet of discarded polythene, rolling the last of the Golden Virginia, taking a swig from a half litre bottle of B &amp; Q’s 10 year first malt Meths and eyeing up a fat seagull – or rat - for the Yuletide dinner.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To wit, from this marginalised and disaffected perspective we can sit back and employ the facilities of subjunctive retrospect and 20/20 hindsight to see with crystal clarity that the core principles of our society are corrupted with a whopping capital ‘C’ and fucked up with an even larger capital ‘F’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;We, the common or garden peasants, comprising the 99% population of our once-sceptred isle, remain the perennial victims of a criminal cabal of elitists who, since the misrule of the venal Stuart kings – (and before) - have used their insidious Masonic-Templar-Zionist secret society connections to manipulate the monetary system, then concentrate judicio-political power and control over the nation’s lands and commerce in the hands of the select ‘divine right’ few – and all to the detriment of the proletariat. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Alas, reflecting on the elitist’s absurd sense of entitlement, nothing short of violent intervention will ever put an end to their Midas touch insanity. Like the substance abuse junkies, these money addicts have succumbed to a terminal stage in their affliction that renders them incapable of rational thought. They are far beyond the bounds of logic and reason and will never halt the materialistic pillaging until they have consumed every last resource Mother Earth possesses.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In a world that marches to the beat of the debt-based capitalist monetary system’s usurious heart, where the pursuit of personal ambitions and material wealth surpasses all else – especially so expanded consciousness and spiritual awareness – materialistic greed has taken on a religious cultist ‘Nirvana’ significance - with the common herd now, alas, also intoxicated with illusions from the earliest stages of their youth – from the cradle to the proverbial grave.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But since the advent of the 20th Century drive by Enlightenment politicians to empower the sheeple with property ownership via council house purchases and cheap mortgages – and have encouraged entrepreneurship that has resulted in a nouveau riche upper middle class behind the wheels of these ubiquitous up-scale Beemers - and Jag’s perched on a shithouse Ford Mondeo chassis - the elitist’s mindset has undergone a drastic sea change. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Now, with avarice aforethought and a moronic display of calamitous imprudence, the dynastic Establishment Controllers want all lands and property back under their totalitarian thumb – with the transient middle class buffer zone between the Mammon-worshipping Lords of Lucre and the Bloshie peasants ceasing to exist – much as it didn’t when Marie Antoinette’s ‘cake’ ran out and the dissident  ‘Terror’ firebrands stormed the Bastille in 1789 – and again with the Bolshevik revolution of 1917. No middle class to cop the wrath of the have-nots – so the Bourbon and Romanov parasites joined the ranks of the extinct - like the dithering dodo before them.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hence the conjuring of the global economic downturns –and this engineered ‘recession’ cum insolvency crisis with the ill-fated euro single currency. The plotted failure of the EUSSR – to be ‘Federalised’ into a technocratic super state – with the insidious spectre of fascism looming over all as ‘democracy’ goes out of the window along with the bathwater, baby and all.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;However there are blatant factors these self-elected, nepotistic elitists, so comfortable with belief in their own bullshit and delusions and this vaunted fairy dust New World Order wish list - seem to overlook – for despite their public school educations, university degrees and lofty official appointments they’re not particularly bright when it comes to the game of thinking on their feet – and most definitely deficient in applying the lessons of history when planning for the future.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;They totally miss the sore thumb point that the more of the common herd who lose their jobs, homes and material possessions in this manipulated downturn, the more who are likely to have time on their unemployed hands to stop, think and re-evaluate. The more people will wake up and realize the ’depression’s’  financial and political situation is engineered for the benefit of a very select few - and to the detriment of the many. Thus it follows that the more people who are directly offended by these draconian new anti-freedom laws and intrusive surveillance methods, the more startled, questioning, radicalised and activated they will become.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And the more people who are aware that the system’s crooked because that's the way some inbred blue blooded bastard wants it, the more the Bolshie peasants will be smitten with ‘Eureka!’ as they reach a series of very alarming, yet empowering, conclusions.&lt;br /&gt;Per se, that the crises of unregulated fiscal disasters, democracy denied pantomimes and corrupt bureaucratic institutions will never be solved and righted by the scum who caused them.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, what is better with the global manifestation of the 99% of useless eating common herd peasants having a bit of an Arab Spring or ‘Occupying’ some dump or the other to express their displeasure with the capitalist system?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Having them out in the open and visible under the ever watchful remote aerial drones and CCTV Cyclops in their city squares and tent encampments – monitoring their Facebook and Twitter posts, e-mails and texts - or evict and disperse them – pepper-sprayed, bludgeoned and water cannoned into submission – and hence driven underground and out of sight – to plot and scheme the downfall of the established order and status quo within the shadows of clandestine darkness as they realise the potential of the oak tree within the acorn?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh well, this is the ‘control’ mindset of the elitists – the CFR, the Bilderbergers, the Trilateral Commission, Club of Rome, the Round Table, etcetera, et al, ad infinatum. Too arrogant to browse the passage of history, their unqualified hubris renders them incapable of rational thought as they juggle a distorted rhetoric over common sense and logic – a policy fraught with the spectre of unintended – negative and catastrophic – consequences.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, what’s the New Year and 2012 going to deliver – a manifestation of the misinterpreted Mayan End of Days prediction? Who’s up to donning Cassandra’s cloak and scrying the tea leaves – or casting the runes around the bleached bones of a dead heron? More displays of ‘humanitarian intervention’ in Syria – while ignoring the criminal abuses of the despotic ruling regimes on the populations of Bahrain and Saudi Arabia – and Egypt?&lt;br /&gt;Will it be the Israeli ZioNazis and the Great Satan kick starting World War Three against Russia and the People’s Marxist Utopia of China through an aggressive pre-emptive military strike against Iran? Or will it – against all odds – turn out an Alice in Wonderland – on drugs – ‘everyone lived happily ever after’ ending?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;What we need on the job is the Thames Valley Plod Squad’s DCI Jack McFlash and his Crystal Ball Unit, whose Boy Scout ‘Be Prepared’ clairvoyant perspicacity prompted him to open the notorious Operation Mason file (TVP Tactical Support Major Incident Policy Book) which kick started the search for Dr David Kelly at 2:30pm on the afternoon of the 17th July 2003 – a full hour before the doctor left home - (and several hours prior to Kelly being reported missing) - to set out on &lt;br /&gt;his ill-fated walk in the Grassy Knoll Woods – where he was waylaid by agents of MI5’s Foul Play department who assisted in his reluctant suicide. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Now, explain that one away at a Coroner’s inquest – which, to the undying shame of the British judicial system and successive governments, has never been held – YET!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-283505375275310077?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/283505375275310077/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=283505375275310077' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/283505375275310077'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/283505375275310077'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/catharsis-of-socio-political-discontent.html' title='A Catharsis of Socio-Political Discontent'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-4291032429504647680</id><published>2012-01-02T07:39:00.001Z</published><updated>2012-01-02T07:48:32.469Z</updated><title type='text'>UK Polygraph Tests to be De Rigueur</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In what stinks like a pikey’s crapper of being yet another example of the sneaky tip-toe approach to advancing the Big Brother control freak state agenda, the Smegmashire Plod Squad have been tasked with implementing lie detector tests on suspected sex offenders in a trial that will eventually lead to some draconic Parliamentary bill being legislated making poxy polygraphs a compulsory addition to everyday police investigations into such heinous crimes as speeding and downloading pirate DVD movies - with the threadbare assurance that “Well, if you’re innocent then there’s nothing to worry about”.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And that is just bullshit – it’s yet another encroachment on civil liberties as polygraphs - which monitor heart rate, blood pressure, brain activity, and sweating during waterboarding sessions and torture-free interrogations alike - still require the results interpreted by a biased human source - customarily some moron in a blue uniform who is barely in possession of two brains cells to rub together.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The gospel according to the Association of Senior Plods claims the pilot scheme is being conducted to determine if polygraph tests hold the potential to provide additional technology to existing structured interrogation techniques and perhaps impart that all too frequently absent certainty of guilt - and thus whether to charge suspects with involvement in a crime.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;However, Baz McSkanger, the director of the ‘Fuck the Plods’ civil rights abuse watchdog charity, informed one press hack from the Totalitarians Gazette that “Yer got some very Kafkaesque undertones involved here. First it’s the kiddie fiddlers – then before you can say “Not guilty, your Honour” – the effin’ plods will be usin’ lie detectors fer every fuckin’ thing. Next yer gonna have legislation ram-rodded through the House of Conmans – using the excuse that they’ve got ter be compulsory ter reinforce the investigative scope of existing anti-terrorism laws.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“So wiv all this EUSSR political correctness bullshit spewin’ out of Brussels, if yer takin’ yer fuckin’ dog fer a walk in the park an’ yer happen ter smile at some sprogs or say ‘hello children’ then some paranoid cow’s gonna be on her cellphone an’ finger yer as a potential paedo’ perv. Then yer in the Cop Shop wired up ter a polygraph an’ the twats are showin’ yer colour piccies of some 14-year old slut wot’s got big tits an’ hair she can sit on - an’ if yer effin’ pulse rate goes up an’ yer start gettin’ a lob on, then yer gonna end up wiv yer name in this Sex Offenders Register thingy.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Yeah, an’ just guess wot comes after that, mark my effin’ words – yer gonna have gangs of yer local council’s Community Enforcement knobheads from the Renta-Thug agency comin’ round wiv their mobile polygraph units an’ puttin’ the hard word on some fucker’s Granny ter take a lie detector test ter prove she’s not been chuckin’ garden waste or kitty litter in the wrong wheelie bin – just so they can start imposin’ on-the-spot fines ter pay fer their own miserable fuckin’ existence.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely, the Association of Senior Plods reported that Smegmadale Police had carried out a total of 25 polygraph tests on what they classified as low-level sex offenders (voyeurs, doggers, cottagers, etc) with some being coerced into making disclosures they might otherwise have been unlikely to - and other perverted scumbags apparently lying about what they were doing half-naked in a farmer’s field in the middle of the night - stuck up the arse end of a sheep.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Candida Mingerot, the spokeswoman for the human rights and wrongs abuse group Ox-Rat, opined to media reporters that “The Ministry of Justice has been overseeing this fatally-flawed project, aimed at testing sex offenders as part of their probation conditions when they’re freed from prison – and I’ll bet my anal virginity this will most definitely lead to the compulsory testing of convicted sex offenders.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Next it will be mandatory use for disability claimants, then the testing of potential employees by corporations to see if they’ve been lying on their job applications or CVs – that’s as long as they sign a consent form, of course – but there’s not job if they don’t take the test – which are about as accurate as this piece of shit pirate Rolex my boyfriend bought me for Christmas.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Really, imagine going for a minimum wage job at Poundland and having to suffer the indignity of a lie detector test. Doubtless we’re going to be bombarded with the same compliance propaganda waffle justifying this breach of our rights as we did with anti-terrorist laws. ‘If you’re not guilty then you’ve nothing to hide’ – Right? No, fucking wrong with a big capital W for wrong. One question leads to another – and next some officious little local Stasi jobsworth’s coming out with “Been on the Sky Filth channel watching a spot of porno? Got a TV licence have we? Who killed Cock Robin? Where’s Jimmy Hoffa buried?”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Of course one can avoid this by refusing to sign a consent form or sport a Bolshie civil non-compliance attitude by fidgeting and purposely chatter-boxing away instead of answering ‘yes’ or ‘no’ – which will make a total fuck up of any polygraph test. So the lie detector’s only of any use if the subject bows to whatever poses as authority – and subjects themselves to the informed consent protocol - and we all know where that can lead, don’t we – just like Auschwitz when God’s Chosen People walked willingly into the gas chambers.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thoughts for the day: Applying polygraph tests in this trial involving sex offenders – a pity it wasn’t conducted in Scotland’s crime and kiddie fiddling capital of Scaberdeen - on the local establishment’s Masonic pederast cabal of ‘official worthies’ - and specifically the corruption-ridden police and judiciary.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Association of Senior Plods related that the Homicide Working Group were following the trial with bated breath and interested to employ polygraph techniques into their own investigations.&lt;br /&gt;Probably too much to ask or expect that the Independent Police Coverups Commission, currently probing the illegal killing of Mark Duggan by the Met’s Plod Squad in Tottenham last August will be using polygraph tests to determine who actually shot whom – and who threw the handgun over the fence – and why Duggan bore no evidence of powder residue from firing the weapon that police claim he was armed with and which purportedly discharged the bullet that struck and lodged in PC Dildo’s MP3 player.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;While Orwell’s 1984 provides both alarming and prophetic insights to what a Dystopian (and Kafkaesque) state might manifest as, perhaps it is time, and again prudent, to remind Posh Dave Scameron’s Libservative Coalition and the Association of Senior Plods that the revelatory text was a ‘warning’ aimed at the common people – and definitely not a blueprint and instruction manual – Totalitarianism for Dummies - for governments to impose on their own voting public.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-4291032429504647680?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/4291032429504647680/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=4291032429504647680' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4291032429504647680'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4291032429504647680'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/uk-polygraph-tests-to-be-de-rigueur.html' title='UK Polygraph Tests to be De Rigueur'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-7118357401016082741</id><published>2012-01-02T07:33:00.002Z</published><updated>2012-01-02T07:39:14.643Z</updated><title type='text'>Royal Parasite Sets Walking Record</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Duke of Edinburgh was roundly applauded by hordes of local lickspittle peasants yesterday as he walked completely unaided the ten-plus metres from his chauffeured limousine into St Seymour’s Church for Latter Day Scroungers to attend the traditional New Year's service.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The 120-year-old royal parasite was making his first public appearance after spending four nights in hospital at the taxpayers’ expense over Christmas following an acute anxiety attack brought on after being advised by the official Buckingham Palace tittle-tattle, Sir Gervais McTwatt, that Mohamed al Fayed had appeared on televised footage outside his Mayfair residence boasting to gutter press news hacks he now had in his possession from MI5 snitches a file of incriminating documented evidence that “Phil the Greek ordered the Pont de l’Alma tunnel hit on Princess Di’ an’ my boy Dodo - cos she was up the tub wiv a Muslim sprog.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This was the second occasion in the year that the Prince had been rushed to hospital with a health scare – the previous one being last March when his ‘good manners’ transplant rejected him. Prior to this he was given a clean bill of health in September 2009 following extensive diagnostic tests undertaken after learning that one of his ex-Gordonstoun bumboy fags – Spatchcock minor - had died of AIDS that August.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Tens of thousands of brain dead peasants stood out in the pissing rain, lining the lane leading to the Sandringham estate church – with the overspill cluttering the surrounding fields in the hope of catching a glimpse of someone even remotely ‘royal’ who might saunter or drive past and totally ignore them.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It had not been known whether Prince Philip would attend the New Year service as his hospital confinement meant he missed the Royal Family's vulgarian Christmas celebrations as well as the traditional Boxing Day shoot - which Philip customarily leads and involves the Wicked Windsors blasting away with shotguns at anything that flies or runs – including partridge, rabbits, pheasants, peasants, beaters, paparazzi and dumbfounded doggers.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Prince Philip was the first royal to leave the church, revelling in the pathetic displays of slave-like devotion, cap-doffing and applause from the unwashed peasantry who sang “For he’s a jolly good fellow!” as he walked back to his limo’ without the aid of a sedan chair or a piggy back from the Royal Toady - even managing to step carefully around puddles although several obliging rustic peon types did prostate themselves across the path to allow His Regal Rudeness to step on them and save getting his brogues muddy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-7118357401016082741?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/7118357401016082741/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=7118357401016082741' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/7118357401016082741'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/7118357401016082741'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/royal-parasite-sets-walking-record.html' title='Royal Parasite Sets Walking Record'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-1147070121029472598</id><published>2012-01-01T08:49:00.003Z</published><updated>2012-01-01T09:19:15.389Z</updated><title type='text'>Tories Branded Scouseland ‘Hopeless Case’</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The gospel according to freshly-released National Archive files reveals a damning indictment of habitual Tory contempt for Britain’s tax-paying peasants – with PM Maggie Twatcher urged to abandon Scouseland to ‘ fester in its own mongrel criminality’ by her ‘cottaging’ Chancellor Geoffrey ‘Three Chins’ Howe.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The confidential government documents, which have been released under the 30-year rule, reveal ‘dirty deal’ discussions in Twatcher’s snob-infested cabinet during Liverpool’s Toxteth Riots in 1981 – which kicked off big time in the July of that year as a result of the heavy-handed arrest of Leroy Wormhole Jaffacake on Chuckabutty Street in Liverpool 8 under the statutes of the unwritten ‘Sus Laws’ - for being in possession of a permanent suntan and dreadlocks.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The eight days of devastating civil disturbances that followed left 460 hapless Merseyside Plod Squad thugs pulling sickies and waving personal injury claims – with several million feral Scousers arrested on charges of affray and looting – plus half of Liverpool either demolished or burnt down by budding arsonists as socio-political tensions between the police and the district's Afro-Caribbean community reached a critical mass state that erupted in a cataclysmic chain reaction of mega-nuclear proportions due the racially-motivated arrest of Mr Jaffacake. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;While ministers of a magnanimous mindset and a bent for social reforms - such as Environment Secretary Michael Heseltine - were arguing for regeneration funding to rebuild the riot-hit communities, the flabby Chancellor Howe put his foot down with a firm hand and declared any such project would be a total waste to be spent on a bunch of work-shy and brain-dead Scouse scumbags.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Howe warned PM Twatcher and the cabinet not to commit any fiscal resources to the recession-hit Liverpool and suggested that Merseyside in entirety be left to go into a ‘managed decline’ – and that perhaps in future years it might serve as a landfill site – or a good spot for dumping nuclear waste from wicked Windscale.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Scouseland’s a gonner and will never recover since they’ve turned the entire port’s import-export industry over to containerization to stop the light-fingered dockers from thieving - and have hence reduced the once-labour intensive workforce requirement to almost zero.”&lt;br /&gt;“Let’s be perfectly honest here, why expend even a meagre portion of our limited resources on Liverpool when the unemployed Scousers only want to stay in the pub and betting shop all day long – and milk the welfare benefits system dry.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The archived cabinet meeting minutes reveal that Howe continued in the same vein: “Not wishing to sound negative, but getting them off their lazy arses and back into work, to become an active part of a responsible society can’t really be encompassed by the metaphoric description of ‘trying to make water flow uphill’ – it’s more a matter of attempting to shove butter up a porcupine’s arse with a red hot knitting needle.”&lt;br /&gt;“Conversely, whatever we do with Scouseland will be the wrong thing - and one day come back to kick us squarely in the arse.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As the Toxteth Riots got well underway and Maggie Twatcher’s inept Tory government went into headless chicken “What to do!? What to do!?” mode –  even contemplating sending in the Army or a brigade of Hessian mercenaries - cabinet minister Michael Heseltine drew the short straw, and equipped with a stab vest and Denis Twatcher’s Lambretta scooter crash helmet, was despatched post haste into the Merseyside war zone.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The hapless Heseltine reported back via pigeon post several days later that he was being held hostage by a bunch of dreadlocked Pastafarians at the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in Sefton Park and subjected to a 24/7 torture regime of reggae music and being fed bananas for breakfast, dinner and tea – though his release could be secured if the Bootle Customs Department returned the gang's shipment of ‘medicinal purposes only’ ganja seized at the docks the previous week.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Cabinet papers reveal that a stoned Heseltine was turned over to the Plod Squad barricade lines following hostage negotiations and later reported he considered the abominable behaviour of Scouseland’s ‘fortress mentality’ police to be ‘Horrifying’ – with a large capital H.&lt;br /&gt;“Racist or not – they are at least fair – as they treat every sod and their dog in a brutal and arrogant manner – blacks and whites alike – which I blame on Merseryside’s Chief Constable Genghis ‘Pitbull’ McGnasher."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh well, 1981 to 2011 – a mere blink of the eye in the age of the Earth – and too not much more in the passage of socio-political change when 30 years down the road we have the Tottenham Riots – once again motivated by the Plod Squad’s uniformed thugs and a display of their unchecked ruthless barbarism – which resulted in the premeditated extra-judicial killing of a bloke with a permanent suntan – specifically Mark Duggan – and kick-starting a wave of nation-wide revolts in response.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Alas history has a bad habit of repeating itself – especially when moronic politicians refuse to learn from its graphic tutorials. Maggie Twatcher never went out to ‘Hug-a-Hoodie’ in 1981 – and neither did Posh Dave Scameron in August 2011 – belying his own 2010 election campaign trail boasts.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;During a cabinet post mortem discussion of the Toxteth riots, Twatcher, informed that the public had a cultural ingrained hatred for the police which emanated from a profound, decades-long evolved mistrust - viewing the Plod Squads as a uniformed civil militarist force there to protect the property of the elite - and not the rights of the common tax-paying electorate – then raised the scary ‘grasping at straws’ prospect of arming the plods – obviously with the malice aforethought intention being they could shoot rioters with legal impunity. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, armed thugs in uniform – 30 years later, with 20/20 hindsight, that was quite an give-away on Twatcher’s part - proposing to kit the Plod Squads out with ‘guns’ back in 1981 – unconsciously admitting there was obviously something seriously wrong with her methods of government if she had to resort to arming the police to protect her from Britain’s dysfunctional society.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Again, 30 years on, there has recently been talk, yet again, of arming the nation’s Plod Squads – as if we didn’t have enough problems with the Met’s trigger-happy ‘Shoot First’ CO19 Armed Response Unit murdering – ‘with impunity’ – Brazilian electricians as they’re too numb between the ears to tell the difference between a bomb-toting Mid-Eastern Muslim terrorist and a Portuguese-speaking Latino ‘Sparky’ on his way to replace a fuse at the local tanning parlour.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;No doubt the guns will be in evidence – along with the pick axe handles, water cannons, tasers, baton rounds and CS gas – plus the ear-splitting acoustic crowd dispersers and microwave skin burners once the shit hits the fan in 2012 and the common herd lose patience with the Libservative coalition government to go totally ballistic once the banksters close their doors, shut the ATM’s down and the Greedy Grocer supermarkets refuse to take debit or credit cards.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-1147070121029472598?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/1147070121029472598/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=1147070121029472598' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1147070121029472598'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1147070121029472598'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/tories-branded-scouseland-hopeless-case.html' title='Tories Branded Scouseland ‘Hopeless Case’'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-1584725043125207130</id><published>2012-01-01T08:09:00.006Z</published><updated>2012-01-01T08:41:49.253Z</updated><title type='text'>Lieberman ‘Enraged’ at EU Truthsters</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Israel’s corruption-ridden career criminal excuse for a Foreign Minister, Avigdor ‘Rosh Tahat’ Lieberman, has once again opened his moronic slack-jawed mouth before engaging brain, declaring to any fucker and their dog interested to listen to his racist blather that he was ‘Enraged’ - with a large capital E - following the release of a European Union memo which got very close to the truth in noting that Muslim Arabs inside the pariah Zionist state of Israel face ‘Discrimination’- with an equally large capital ‘D’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Lieberman, a hard-core Jabotinskyist (follower of Jabot the Hutt) and ZioNazi bigot to the core, is stricken with a pathological paranoid propensity for publicly vilifying all manner of Gentiles and goyim alike – labelling anyone who dares even question Israel’s belligerent actions, let alone criticise them – as anti-Semitic Holohoax deniers who should be scourged, stoned, then crucified up-side-down like St Peter before them.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;One of the worst possible examples of PM Bobo Nuttyahoo’s Knesset and ruling Khazar-Ashkenazi political elitists, Lieberman is constantly at pains to argue the flawed ‘Res Nullius’ legal principle for Israel’s theft of Palestine during the 1948 ‘Yawm an-Nakbah’.&lt;br /&gt;This translates as the ‘Day of the Catastrophe’- when the Rothshite-funded kikester terrorist forces of the Haganah, Stern Gang and Irgun kick started the Palestinian Holocaust – a tragedy continued to this very day by the IDF’s ‘Shechita Ethnic Cleansing Squad’ and the bully boy thugs of the ‘Hafganat Koah Genocide Brigade’ – acting under the orders of the Ministry for Expropriation of Palestinian Lands – and the likes of Avigdor Lieberman.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Foreign Ministry spokesman Felix Fagin issued a statement on Lieberman’s behalf to the Pound of Flesh Gazette yesterday, condemning the EUSSR’s Brussels-based hierarchy – with the added whinge that the do-gooder moralist scumbag memo was composed and released without consulting the Israeli government or being granted their permission to expose human rights and wrongs abuses.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The document focused on the excesses of Israel’s far-right coalition and such heinous illegal acts as demolishing the West Bank’s Jolly Jihadi Mosque to make way for the construction of the St Shylock’s Synagogue for Latter Day Kikesters to serve the ‘spiritual’ (sic) needs of the illegal Israeli settlers. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This is the second time in as many weeks that Lieberman has been driven into dummy-spitting / high blood pressure fury at the European Union, angrily condemning them last week for having the chutzpah to criticise the massive expansion of illegal settlements in the occupied West Bank – (including his own squatter's mansion there) and warning they are ‘irrelevant’ to any peace negotiations. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Irrelevant eh? Hmmm, to him maybe – but not to the hapless Palestinians whose ancestral lifeblood farms and homes are being stolen by these criminals on a daily basis.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Of course career haters like Lieberman don’t like criticism – what fascist scumbags ever do?&lt;br /&gt;But alas, criticism is the order of the day when petty tyrants of Lieberman’s ilk exhibit as much empathy for the Palestinian victims of the IDF’s terror tactics as Hitler’s Nazi SS storm troopers had for the occupants of the crammed ghettos of Europe during the 12-year duration Third Reich’s Final Solution campaign.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So Lieberman can scream and bawl all he wants over EU criticism and Brussels having the blatant audacity to dare print the truth over Israel’s venal racist policies - and declare “We are God’s Chosen People!” – but that one’s worn pretty thin by now after decades of anti-Semitic and Holohoax denier finger-pointing propaganda.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;For a people who do so much whingeing about their historical / perennial ‘victim’ status to garner global sympathy, they surely do have short memories of the purported Russian pogroms and the Hitlerian atrocities visited upon their number when they inflict far worse crimes against humanity and punitive punishments on the Palestinian populations of the occupied West Bank and besieged Gaza Strip on a continual basis.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh yes, the West Bank and Gaza Strip - surrounded by 700-plus kilometres of the Israeli’s Great Apartheid Walls – with the Palestinians besieged inside the biggest Nazi style concentration camps on the planet.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Now, to mark the third anniversary of Israel's deadly 22-day duration Operation Kill Every Fucker military offensive against Gaza, the IDF’s chief of staff Lt. General Benny Kuntz has stated for the public record that they need to launch a ‘swift and painful’ mini-war offensive against Hamas - the democratically-elected government of Gaza - as Tel Aviv is losing its grip on the coastal strip. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, more like they’re losing their grip on sanity and reality with their proposed ‘mini-war offensive’ – that’s just a politically-incorrect euphemism for ‘organised murder’ – which is acutely painful in any shape or form.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Fuck the Rothshite crime syndicate banksters and their Zionist-Masonic New World Order global terrorist capital of Israel.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-1584725043125207130?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/1584725043125207130/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=1584725043125207130' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1584725043125207130'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1584725043125207130'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2012/01/lieberman-enraged-at-eu-truthsters.html' title='Lieberman ‘Enraged’ at EU Truthsters'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-3725989165803007139</id><published>2011-12-31T08:48:00.004Z</published><updated>2012-01-14T07:10:03.208Z</updated><title type='text'>Chavez Fingers CIA Cancer Plot</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Venezuelan President Chavez this week raised the scary spectre that the Great Satan’s CIA dirty tricks division have developed a secret death ray or nasty nano-technology to stricken Latin America’s left-wing leaders with cancer to ensure their demise – as an alternative to the hypocrisy-ridden route of achieving regime changes via UN Security Council resolutions and dispatching the NATO thugs to enforce a Libyan style measure of ‘humanitarian intervention’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Following his personal surgery and chemotherapy treatment for cancer in Cuba this year Chavez made public his suspicions upon receiving news that President Cristina Fernandez of Argentina has now been diagnosed as suffering from thyroid cancer.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Chavez opined to one press hack from the Snuff Flick Gazette that this phenomenon was worthy of a place in the Guinness Book of World Records - following Fernando Lugo of Paraguay, Dilma Rousseff of Brazil, and her predecessor Lula da Silva, also suffering from cancer – and all Latin American leaders who, like Chavez , are possessed with minds of their own – and brook no time for the Great Satan’s meddling in the socio-political affairs of developing Third World nations – saddling them with a kleptocracy of corrupt puppet leaders, a basket of IMF debts - and then seizing control of their natural resources.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Labelled by the US State Department as ‘Horrible Hugo’, the Bolshie Venezuelan leader speculated further that these instances of cancer were difficult to explain using the law of probabilities or even Koestler’s Roots of Coincidence.&lt;br /&gt;“The CIA want me gone as I am anti-US and oppose their imperialist policies to use the Rothshite banksters to impose an IMF Debtocracy on us. Now they have seized control of Haiti since using their HAARP machines to create that massive earthquake, maybe they have recruited a coven of voodoo witch doctors to blight us with their curses.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“This type of plot these CIA scumbags tried following their Bay of Pigs fiasco in the 1960’s – targeting my very good amigo Fidel Castro with a carcinogenic agent in his footwear so his beard would fall out and then he would lose his Latin machismo and hence all political credibility. But that failed so then they tried to kill him with exploding cigars – surely the stuff of Wiley T Coyote – thought up by that Watergate bungler Gordon ‘Fuckups’ Liddy.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“But joking aside, my intelligence agents and science boffins claim this type of cancer death ray is possible as the Great Satan have access to the research and radionics machine equipments of Dr Galen T Hieronymous and George de la Warr – that can either cure or kill a person through a process using the emulsion on a photographic negative of themselves. Very scary – so perhaps time to start wearing my tinfoil hat again.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“We know what they did to Bob Marley - with a strand of radioactive wire embedded in a pair of trainers given to him as a present from an anonymous ‘fan’. The CIA and US State Department described Marley as the most dangerous black man alive due his anti-war and peace activist songs. Just the same as they had the mind-controlled Mark Chapman murder John Lennon when the ex-Beatle announced plans to get back into the peace promotion side of the music business.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Anyone who doesn’t kiss their Ivy League Zionist kikester arses or goes against the grain of their agenda is a danger to be rid of. Just Google up a record of false flag terror attacks that the United States has been involved with - starting with the Maine – then the ever-so convenient fatal strokes and coronaries and diseases - and the air crashes. They’re all only a step less ham-fisted than Mossad’s Mohammed al Patsy 9/11 fubar and the ridiculous Harold Holt drowning fiasco.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Editorial advisory. Anyone reading this article and inhaling, it might just be good practice to start checking your boots for bits of radioactive wire sticking up - and the trash can for any empty packets with ‘Sellafield’ or ‘Fuckupshima’ printed on them – and don’t leave any photographic negatives of yourself lying around.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Interesting point that the US State Department have taken time out to even acknowledge what they term Chavez ‘paranoid conspiracy accusations’ – let alone commission a whole series of media reports to promulgate the absolute impossibility of implementing such a ridiculous plot – and too focusing disbelief regarding the existence of the sci-fi covert devices required – to cause cancerous conditions in anti-US political leaders targeted for assassination.&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, Occam’s Razor strikes again.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known conspiracy theory / propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-3725989165803007139?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/3725989165803007139/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=3725989165803007139' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/3725989165803007139'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/3725989165803007139'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/chavez-fingers-cia-cancer-plot.html' title='Chavez Fingers CIA Cancer Plot'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-5984350206780475812</id><published>2011-12-30T08:56:00.004Z</published><updated>2011-12-30T09:08:03.351Z</updated><title type='text'>Tory Philistines Want Blood Sports Back</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In the unqualified opinion of Jumpin’ Jim Paice, one of the Tory Party’s psycho pro-blood sports proponents, the 2004 Hunting Act simply doesn't work as foxes can now stand back and laugh contemptuously - shouting “Ha, Ha, Ha - Boom! Boom!” as they imitate the iconic ginger-mingin, anthropomorphic fox raconteur, the star of the Beeb’s Children’s Hour: Basil Brush - at the red-coated morons on their horses as they ‘toot-toot’ then bawl and holler in vain to stop their pack of baying hounds tearing some hapless fucker’s moggy or Pekingese – or toddler - to pieces in the middle of Suburbia.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Paice, the Tory MP for Old Scrotum - and a Ministry of Agriculture jobsworth long past his shelf life - confided to a press hack from the Barbarians Gazette a bevy of his flawed opinions on the hunting ban - which makes it illegal to hunt wild animals using dogs.&lt;br /&gt;“Our green and pleasant land’s fallen victim to all this prissy humanitarian and political correctness bunkum. Don’t forget, it was blood and guts that built the British Empire - one that the sun never set on – not pissing around in the House of Conmans, wasting time and money debating about fox and badger rights.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;”There’s so many of our working dog breeds facing extinction since these do-gooder moralist bans came into force. No more coursing with lurchers and ripping a mad March hare or three to ribbons. No bugger bothers breeding the good old St Hubert’s for tracking down escaped kaffirs anymore since that holier-than-thou prat Wilberforce and his mate Clarkson got slavery abolished.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“The bear pits have all gone - along with badger baiting and that splendid Victorian seaside pastime of cormorant chucking. Perhaps it’s just my sadistic streak coming out, but really, if it was up to me I’d ditch Scameron’s Big Society and Hug-a-Hoodie doctrines and bring back conscription and organize gladiator training camps for the unemployed. Then see if that motivated them to get off their lazy arses when it came down to a fight for their very lives – tossing them into a pit with a pack of ravenous wolves.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Chlamydia Mingerot, chief executive of the Countryside Alliance, told the Carnivores Review “Greater Manchester’s Stench Hill sink or swim council housing estate’s Residents Committee used to organize a smashing annual Boxing Day event in which Staffordshire Pitbull Terriers were loosed on Scumshawe Park to hunt down and tear to pieces any and all pervy voyeur masturbators, would-be rapists and potential kiddie fiddlers caught lurking in the bushes.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“That used to keep sex crimes down to a minimum but got banned after a pair of Community Enforcement snitches who were on a stake out in the park, spying on residents shoving their garbage in the wrong wheelie bin, were mistaken for a couple of wankers and got disembowelled by a pack of rabid Rottweilers.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Regardless, we are expecting a crowd of some 250,000 peasants to be out and about up and down the country to support their local hunts and hear the piercing howls from the frustrated hounds as they tear the ‘fox scent drag’ to shreds – then start on each other.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Seasoned hunt saboteur and ‘League Against Cruel Sports’ chief executive Joe Duckfat informed media reporters “There’s no effin’ place fer animal cruelty in a civilised society an’ any fucker wiv two brain cells ter rub together is right behind New Labour's ban on huntin’ wild animals wiv a pack of fuckin’ dogs – even though they do still question wot woz the moral point of bringin’ in the act in 2004 when Bliar an’ Co had illegally authorised a free-for-all shootin’ match in Iraq wiv that other dumb twat Dubya Bush.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"Now while every sod’s worried about losin’ their jobs an’ fallin’ incomes an’ risin’ prices we’ve got this out of touch Tory-dominated coalition government talkin’ about abolishin’ the act an’ bringin’ huntin’ back. Although I must admit the majority of the public might enjoy seein’ Chancellor Georgie Osborne chased down by a pack of hounds an’ ripped ter bits.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Do you live in a hunting fetish area? Have you ever been hunted to the point of exhaustion by wild dogs then had your arms and legs torn off? Do you consider blood sports to be cruel? What are your thoughts on hedgehog strangling as a sport?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap &amp; Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals - otters or voles - were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day: At least bears are now able to shit in the woods in comfort, without having a pack of hounds disturbing them halfway through a good crap.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-5984350206780475812?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/5984350206780475812/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=5984350206780475812' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/5984350206780475812'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/5984350206780475812'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/tory-philistine-wants-blood-sports-back.html' title='Tory Philistines Want Blood Sports Back'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-3354119858988438457</id><published>2011-12-29T07:38:00.004Z</published><updated>2011-12-29T07:51:34.057Z</updated><title type='text'>Qatar Suffers Fatal Delusions of Grandeur</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Busy little bully boy bees, al Qatar’s ruling Al Thani hierarchy – meddling in matters far from home and none of their concern – yet a fatal cocktail of political and militarist intrigues that shall prove to be - shaken or stirred – when the proverbial shit hits the fan and the entire Gulf region goes ballistic later in 2012.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;While the obscenely obese Al-Thani tribe have been under the City of London’s ‘protectorate’ thumb dating back to the 19th century - and paid-up members of the pro-Zionist arse-lickers club since the advent of the 1990 Gulf War ‘Part One’ – aka Operation Desert Massacre - they went on to consolidate their fealty by obliging the Rothshite crime syndicate with the establishment of the Al Jezeera news media network in 1996 - to act as a pro-Western / anti-Palestinian propaganda machine maintaining the interests of Israel and their Mid-East military hegemony. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Adding to their ‘Yessir!’ subservience, Qatar’s recently rolled out the red carpet to play host to the Great Satan’s New World Order / Foreign Policy Initiative military juggernaut and hordes of GI psychos – and on dog whistle demand funnelled mega-bucks, Jolly Jihadi terrorists and caches of weapons into the effort to overthrow Gaddafi’s benign dictatorship regime - which resulted in the decimation of the entire national infrastructure (so Scallyburton and Bechtel can come and rebuild it all – at great profit) – turning Libya into an even bigger lawless, gun-toting trigger-happy fuck up than Iraq. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But that’s all part of the plan – order into chaos and the creation of a chain of totally dysfunctional Islamic societies that require the West’s guiding Christian Democratic hand to sort their shit out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Now the al Thani gang are not only sponsoring the Syrian Wahhabi terrorist groups (Free Syrian Army – composed entirely of Libyans and Taliban muhijadeen on vacation) out to overthrow President Bashar al-Assad and install a Western-stooge regime – just like Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya – (all in preparation for the pre-emptive strikes against Iran in the New Year) – but plotting the downfall of the kleptocratic shambles that poses as the despotic government of Saudi Arabia.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The gospel according to an audio file which has gone viral on the Internet, the Qatari ruler, Emir Hamad bin Khalifa al Thani – a triple-chinned fat slob who’s never seen his own feet for years unless he looks in a mirror and is only a couple of steps away from a fatal coronary or a stroke – (or both) - informed one press hack from the Camel Bonkers Gazette that Qatari troops would occupy Qatif in Saudi Arabia’s Eastern Province and the Al Saud regime will disintegrate.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“The regime of King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz al Fat Git and his 5,000 hangers-on royal princes is exhausted and powerless to control the country - and the army cannot confront our forces in Qatif now we have the backing of the US bases here in Qatar with their invincible MQ-9 Reaper drones and Shitehawk missiles – hence we shall emerge the dominant Arab power in the region and take possession of their Ghawar oil and gas fields. Insha’Allah.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, sounds like the bonkers al Thani mafia have taken a page out of the warmongering Israeli ZioNazi regime’s Hasbara Handbook with this latest outrage of chutzpah and their ambitions surpassing intellect.  While they might well claim hereditary grazing rights to every hotel lobby carpet in the Persian Gulf region, this poses no less that an arrogant display of impotent sabre-rattling – that might just manifest as a terminal attack of unqualified brazen hubris. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Is this ruling dynasty of moronic sodomites and kiddie-fiddlers so fucking stupid as not to understand they’re simply another muppet stooge state to be used as a doormat while it suits the Western aggressors?&lt;br /&gt;Any delusions they have of being a Middle East ‘power player’ in the New World Order / Greater Israel game plan will be dashed when they learn to their dismay that neither the Rothshite crime syndicate's Zionist state or the Great Satan play well with others - nor like to share their toys – or spoils.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Silly Qatar – obsessed with big ideas and reliving the halcyon days of Shaikh Jassim. A deluded little bully state now become - that has the enervated support of Posh Dave Scameron’s Tory-dominated Libservative Coalition government in Westminster – plus a bit of US and Israel clout behind it right now – but just watch the sparks fly when they start sparring up against Iran.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;‘Dawlat Qatar’ - this flyspeck peninsula poking out into the Persian Gulf like a festering tumour – or more fittingly – a gangrenous haemorrhoid – hanging off the arse end of Saudi Arabia’s Ash Sharqiyah region – is going to end up in a very sorry state if they continue down this fatally-flawed path of aggression plotted for them by the Great Satan.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Why can’t Qatar simply be content to become the first Arab state to host the FIFA World Cup in 2022 – a dubious privilege they secured thanks to a spot of all-round bribery and corruption by their bid committee members Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer bin al Thani and the ultra-smarmy disgraced pariah / ex-Asian Football Confederation President Mohammed bin Hammam?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-3354119858988438457?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/3354119858988438457/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=3354119858988438457' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/3354119858988438457'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/3354119858988438457'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/qatar-suffers-fatal-delusions-of.html' title='Qatar Suffers Fatal Delusions of Grandeur'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-8973260979766544423</id><published>2011-12-29T07:09:00.004Z</published><updated>2011-12-29T07:28:09.368Z</updated><title type='text'>Israel Demands Egypt Bribes Refund</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In yet another typical display of their sickening  chutzpah and giving credence to the cultural stigma for money-grubbing, the outlaw Israeli government are demanding a full refund from Egypt’s ruling military junta of the zillions of shekels in bribes they paid to deposed President Hosni Mubarak in exchange for re-writing regional history to make their pariah state look good in Egyptian educational study text books - and put the hard word on the media to play down reports focusing on their true land-grabbing terrorist rogue state image.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A member of Israel's Labor Party (sic) - Binman ben-Eliezer - a lard-arsed slob who looks like he’s two steps away from a fatal coronary or a stroke – or both – has, with brazen hubris notwithstanding, publicly called on Egyptian officials to pay back the illegal bribes that PM Bobo Nuttyahoo’s even nuttier Knesset paid to Cairo’s ruling mafia during the reign of Pharaoh Mubarak.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The bonkers ben-Eliezer informed one press hack from the Baksheesh Gazette – without producing any form of receipt to back up his claim - that Israel gave 300 million dollars to the former Egyptian dictator to change the core content of the national education materials – specifically removing any and all reference and mention of the 1948 Yawm an-Nakbah – (the start of the Palestinian Holocaust) – or the ultra-Zionist racist state’s ethnic cleansing and slow cook genocide policies against the Palestinian population – in order to make Israel look good.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;”We paid that scumbag Mubarak good money to have his education ministry sterilise their history books so no reference is made that our Zionist state is governed by Ashkenazi Jews of convenience – nor any mention of our illegal settlements in the occupied territories – or the 700-plus kilometres of Great Apartheid Walls surrounding the West Bank - and besieging the Gaza Strip in the biggest SS-style concentration camp on the planet.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“We particularly wanted the expurgation of citations to these accusations that our IDF’s Shechita Ethnic Cleansing Squad were kidnapping Palestinian children to have them murdered so their internal organs could be harvested for our black market transplant trade – and especially those references that Mossad’s psychos were responsible for the 9/11 false flag terror attacks on New York and the Pentagon.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“When I spoke to Mubarak on the phone he guaranteed me that once the cheque cleared then he’d have the offending pages torn out of the school history books – and put a stop their Daily Shitraker newspaper referring to us as ‘the ZioNazi state of Israel’ - then calling us - God's Chosen People - hypocrites for accusing Iran of developing nukes and being in a state of non-compliance with their international nuclear obligations when we’ve already got a nuclear weapons arsenal and refuse to sign the Non-Proliferation Treaty ourselves.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Then no sooner is the cheque in the post when the next thing he gets overthrown and the entire regime’s out on its ear. We’ve paid to get something done – so it’s a case of non-performance and we want our money back – with interest.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, however much money they throw at PR in an attempt to decriminalise their actions past and present, the stigma of this chauvinist cult of Zionism and the existence of the illegal rogue state of Israel founded on another people’s sovereign lands, cannot be defended - ethically, morally or intellectually.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Further, career kikesters like ben-Eliezer and his meshuggenah mates have got more chance of shoving butter up a porcupine’s arse with a red hot knitting needle that ever seeing a single red cent of their bribe money ever paid back by Cairo’s invested martial law junta.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Fuck the Rothshite crime syndicate banksters and their Zionist-Masonic New World Order global capital of Israel.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;http://www.presstv.ir/detail/218045.html&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-8973260979766544423?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/8973260979766544423/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=8973260979766544423' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/8973260979766544423'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/8973260979766544423'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/israel-demands-egypt-bribes-refund.html' title='Israel Demands Egypt Bribes Refund'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-4892347527784276832</id><published>2011-12-28T07:25:00.002Z</published><updated>2011-12-28T07:35:25.249Z</updated><title type='text'>Militarist Jingle Tops Xmas Carols</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, this politically-contrived campaign push to get the Military Wives Choir’s rendition of ‘Wherever You Are – Whoever You’re Killing’ – from its release a week ago, on December 19th - into the  2011 UK Christmas number one spot - has, against the constraints of good taste and moral rectitude, actually succeeded.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, one might prudently inquire, why has some amateurish two-versed cobbled-together illiterate ditty glorifying wars of aggression - and the homicidal maniacs expediting them - overtaken our traditional Yuletide carols that were composed to promote the season of goodwill towards all men - and peace on Earth?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Well, that’s all thanks to the media-mesmerised morons who were moved to tears by the hypocrisy-ridden ‘soundbite’ lyrics – (compliments of the brainwashing Tavistock Institute and Scameron’s cabinet Nudge Unit) - such as ‘wondrous star’ and ‘prince of peace’ - glorifying Broken Britain’s neo-colonial / imperialist belligerence and hostilities against  a series of hapless Third World dumps – by plagiarising terms traditionally employed to describe Jesus Christ and His role in this world – both etheric and temporal – and not the antics of some army of gung-ho trigger-happy psycho squaddies deployed on active service in Afghanistan – aka ‘The Graveyard of Empires’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The song entered the UK singles chart, immediately claiming the Christmas ‘Numero Uno’ spot due selling more than 556,000 copies in a single week and knocking ‘Dominick the Donkey’ for a boundary six.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To give added emphasis to the poor taste involved, the smarmy song’s CD sleeve cover art features the emblem of an opium poppy in full bloom on a traditional Islamic green background, with a collage of photos depicting scenes of devastation caused by the NATO troops to Afghan peasant villages.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;However the hit single has copped for lashings of criticism from human rights and wrongs groups around the globe, with Baz ‘Pitbull’ McGnasher, the director of Ox-Rat, informing one press hack from the Warmongers Gazette “Really, how many copies do yer think have bin bought by the Iraqis or the Libyans – or the Taliban and Afghan peasants wot’s lost entire families ter NATO’s not-so smart bombs an’ the Predator drone’s Shitehawk missiles?”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Wot I’d like ter see is some lyrics included in this piece of hypocritical bullshit wot tell the effin’ truth an’ not a bunch of emotional tear-wrenchin’ crap wot’s set ter play on the public’s perceptions of the poor soldiers - an’ classifyin’ ‘em as ‘our heroes’ fer invadin’ some hapless fucker’s country an’ brutalisin’ every fucker old enough ter bleed.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“In my opinion it’s all a poor show of propaganda an’ a typical display of bad taste by this government – blowing the Beacon of Democracy trumpet at Christmas – the traditional time of peace and goodwill to all men on Earth - while the Ministry of Defence psychos have British troops deployed in an aggressive war of occupation in Afghanistan.”&lt;br /&gt;“It’s all linked ter perpetuate this Lest We Forget / Remembrance Day hypocrisy – cos since 1918 we’ve never stopped forgettin’ – an’ are still gettin’ our arses involved in nasty, engineered belligerent conflicts around the effin’ globe.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“So bollocks ter this Military Wives Choir – wot ter my mind – homophobia besides - is chocker block wiv lipstick lezbo sopranos an’ bull dyke baritones – an’ I’d like ter hear less of the discordant caterwaulin’ an’ hear ‘em do a rap version of the song instead.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Ahhhhhh!” they scream as the snipers let fly,&lt;br /&gt;Old Mohammed just copped one, right in the eye.&lt;br /&gt;Wherever You Are – each day must be thrillin’,&lt;br /&gt;Oh what a rush when it’s heathens yer killin’;&lt;br /&gt;But watch out fer the Taliban, keep yer head down, &lt;br /&gt;Then call in an air strike ter flatten their town.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;My love is your flack jacket, buttoned up tight,&lt;br /&gt;So no bonkin’ goats in the darkness of night;&lt;br /&gt;Think only of me when you havin’ wet dreams,&lt;br /&gt;An’ no getting’ off on yer child victim’s screams.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Light up the darkness with a load of Willy-Pete,&lt;br /&gt;Pickin’ off kids as they run scared down the street;&lt;br /&gt;Bugger words of ‘peace’ – just leave them in ‘pieces’,&lt;br /&gt;The sons an’ the daughters – an’ the nephews an’ nieces.&lt;br /&gt;An’ I’m keepin’ me promise not ter shag other men&lt;br /&gt;By havin’ raunchy sex wiv some skanger called Gwen.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Ooooooh! That woz nice”.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-4892347527784276832?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/4892347527784276832/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=4892347527784276832' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4892347527784276832'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4892347527784276832'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/militarist-jingle-tops-xmas-carols.html' title='Militarist Jingle Tops Xmas Carols'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-8184832629705684731</id><published>2011-12-27T07:48:00.003Z</published><updated>2011-12-27T08:04:59.737Z</updated><title type='text'>Huhne’s Ex Missus Bent on Felo-de-Se</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Essex Plod Squad officers have made public their recommendation to the Crown Prosecution Service that Energy Secretary Chris Huhne, the Lib-Dum MP for Fastlane, and his estranged wife Vicky Pryce, both be charged with perjury and perverting the course of justice following an investigation into claims that Huhne conspired to evade the legal penalty for speeding.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A file now with the Director of the CPS reports that Vicky Pryce, Huhne’s wife of 26 years - whom he left in 2005 for a 15-year younger rug-munching bisexual strumpet, Candida Trimingham - should be charged with attempting to pervert the course of justice.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This recommendation derives from Pryce’s personal lemming mode confession – made while dressed only in a penitent’s garb of sackcloth, face daubed with ashes and kneeling before three magistrates and a C of E Bishop – then sworn with her right hand upon the body of a dead heron -  that she agreed to commit perjury and take the fall in accepting DVLA penalty points on her licence after her scumbag husband was caught by a speed camera while driving close to Mach 3 down the motorway and wearing a Flop Gear ‘Stig’ helmet so he couldn’t be recognised. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Evidence held by the Essex Plod Squad includes text messages from Pryce’s cellphone in which Huhne told her that there was no case against him unless she decided to “give some legs to it” – and warned that she too could go to prison if she grassed him up over the speeding points issue in retaliation for his shacking up with a younger bit of stuff that enjoyed swinging both ways.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The likelihood of suffering incarceration for her revelations in admitting criminal activity and the prospects of career self-immolation besides, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, as the adage goes – especially when she’s submitted to the indignity of her driving license being loaded up with a bunch of nasty penalty points for her spouse’s speeding offences – only to have the ungrateful bastard toss her aside for some AC/DC minge-eating political lobbyist bitch who’d stab her own mother in the back for a step up the corporate ladder.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The 59-year old Pryce, (nee Vasiliki Courmouzis) - described by friends and family alike as ‘a Greek tragedy looking for somewhere to happen’ – informed one press hack from the Vendetta Gazette “It’s no longer a matter of my nose out of joint. I wouldn’t take the arsehole back even if he crawls naked across a soccer pitch littered with broken glass and anti-personnel mines. Really, on reflection, after 26 years I’m simply fed up with washing his skiddies and getting the damn Viagra prescription renewed.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“The public might think I’m bent on revenge – and they’d be bloody right too. If I’m going to commit ritual seppuku and go down for perjury ‘and’ perverting the course of justice for saying it was me speeding on the M11 that day, then accepting his penalty points on my license, so be it - but I’m going to take that philandering bastard down with me.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To add to Huhne’s well-deserved litany of burgeoning woes initiated via Pryce’s classic redux of a Japanese kamikaze pilot’s final act of hara-kiri, he also faces the simmering scandal concerning the nepotistic antics of his opportunist lobbying paramour Trimingham and her blatant influence peddling – arrogantly circulating her CV with conspicuous mention of the fact she has personal access to Libservative Cabinet Ministers and House of Conmans MPs - along with top brass Shitehall civil servants and Upper House peers.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, for Posh Dave Scameron’s fuck up of a government, following the recent brouhaha involving Tory Defence Minister Dr Liam Pox and his influence-peddling faggot mate Adam Qwerty, another scandal rears its ugly head to add to Huhne’s perjury and perverting the course of justice accusations.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;New Labour’s shadow energy minister Frank McScrote, opined to one reporter from the Gold-Diggers Review that “This piranha-toothed skanger Trimingham, wiv her dyke pageboy cut an’ Desperate Dan pugilist’s chin, she’s right out of order - shacked up wiv Huhne as his concubine an’ circulatin’ a CV wot abuses all manner of social connections. It’s bleedin’ incestuous, sendin’ e-mails out ter trans-national energy corporations tellin’ ‘em “If you want a wind farm contract, just let me know – I’ll have Chrissy arrange one for you”.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“It’s bad enough he’s goosin’ a PR consultant wot’s got connections ter most of the major public relations companies in London without her hawkin’ the cabinet minister boyfriend access factor around an’ sendin’ off e-mails temptin’ lobbyists ter – an’ here I quote - “make use of my skills and contacts with Chris’s bent mates”. &lt;br /&gt;“An’ this twat Huhne reckons there’s no conflict of interest. My arse – the whole shebang stinks of graft an’ corruption.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely and in response, Ms Trimingham has denied she ever boasted to press hacks that “I’m Chris’s committed three-hole whore – he can put as many points on my license as the DVLA will let him.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day: If one was to believe in Karma, and all in the Cosmos turning full-circle, then it might be posited that Huhne’s collective woes are payback for cancelling the Sheffield Forgemasters loan last year. Hmmm, doesn’t God move in mysterious ways.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-8184832629705684731?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/8184832629705684731/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=8184832629705684731' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/8184832629705684731'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/8184832629705684731'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/huhnes-ex-missus-bent-on-felo-de-se.html' title='Huhne’s Ex Missus Bent on Felo-de-Se'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-1483557001069062972</id><published>2011-12-26T07:11:00.001Z</published><updated>2011-12-26T07:29:18.139Z</updated><title type='text'>Broken Britain Bails Out Broken Africa</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Well, the UK’s Libservative Coalition Government has its domestic priorities screwed up like a soup sandwich yet again, with 9,000 tons of Christmas hampers and festive goodies being shipped out to the Horn of Africa in ‘food aid’ to feed an estimated 800,000 mooching gits.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;International Development Secretary Andrew Mitchell, the Tory MP for Slutton Coldfeet, informed one media hack from the Begging Bastards Review that zillions of hapless Third World peasants are in danger of missing out on a decent Christmas dinner as a result of the global economic downturn and deepening depression – which prompted sarcastic wits to question whether he was referring to Broken Britain or Somalia.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Not to be put down or made to look a bigger prick than he already is, Mitchell went into pontification mode, justifying the food aid shipments with reasons of the region being stricken by drought and famine – which prompted an automatic response from critics that “Of course they’re fucking starving – the stupid twats are living in the middle of a sodding desert - what does anyone expect.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Mitchell claims the latest UN estimate is that in excess of 100,000 people have died since Thanksgiving. "Personally as I sit down to my traditional Xmas dinner of stuffed turkey and cranberry sauce followed by mince pies - and figgy pudding with silver three-penny bits stuck in it - conscience would play havoc with my digestion if those poor little piccaninnys in the Somalian outback who’ve never tasted our Greedy Grocer microwave-ready festive meals or one of Pestco’s Finest sausage rolls – or a Pukesbury’s sherry trifle, didn’t have the opportunity to tuck into even a simple repast of breadsticks and Stilton with a glass of port – and pull a couple of crackers together to cheer up their otherwise shitty pagan existences.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely, Baz McSkanger, the director of Ox-Rat, the government abuse watchdog charity, opined to gutter press reporters that “Bollocks ter the dysfunctional Horn of effin’ Africa – that smug-faced twat Scameron an ‘ his bleedin’ Tories should be sendin’ food parcels up ter the Horn of Lancashire an' the jobless wilderness of Yorkshire ter help out all the unemployed an’ homeless fuckers wot’s bin hit by this bankster-engineered recession an’ Georgie Osborne’s austerity programme wot’s gutted the welfare benefits system ter the bone – an’ are stuck on some effin’ landfill site freezin’ their nuts off fer Christmas.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Have these pillocks never heard the sayin’ that ‘charity begins at home’? So fuck Somalia – they’ve got a thrivin’ shippin’ an’ piracy industry goin’ fer them – an’ ain’t lumbered wiv Brussels’ EUSSR kleptocrats breathin’ down their necks 24/7, demandin’ they bail out the euro an’ save Greece from the Greeks.”  &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-1483557001069062972?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/1483557001069062972/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=1483557001069062972' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1483557001069062972'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1483557001069062972'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/broken-britain-bails-out-broken-africa.html' title='Broken Britain Bails Out Broken Africa'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-2072165805532726123</id><published>2011-12-25T07:24:00.003Z</published><updated>2011-12-25T07:30:54.365Z</updated><title type='text'>Phil the Greek Has Boob Job Undone</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;While the rest of the UK’s hapless common herd remain destined to lie bleeding in excruciating agony on a roadside pavement waiting for an NHS Trust ambulance to turn up following a violent mugging or car accident, the Duke of Edinburgh – aka Prince Philip – was rushed to Twatsworth Hospital in Middlesex - the UK's largest specialist transgender and cosmetic surgery centre – via RAF helicopter on Friday night after suffering a severe anxiety attack while watching a televised media report on the carcinogenic French breast implants scare.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Apparently the headless chicken cancer panic has resulted in some 30,000 split-arsed Frogs rushing off to have their ‘PIP’ Pound Stretcher boob job prostheses removed before they rupture during a rampant session of tit-mashing sexual foreplay and leak their toxic industrial silicone / tyre inflator filler to mingle freely with the recipient’s DNA, resulting in an outbreak of festering tumours.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Lady Fellattia Mingerot, the official Buckingham Palace spokeswoman, informed press hacks that the ill-mannered 120-year old Greek scrounger had undergone a minimally invasive surgical procedure to remove the pair of now-condemned ‘Poly Implant Prothese’ – installed two years ago to enhance his sagging ‘man tits’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“The Prince is now recovering and almost back to being his normal rude self – insulting the foreign nurses, calling his doctor an ‘infidel kaffir’ – and threatening to be reincarnated as a deadly virus and wipe out all the ‘useless eaters’. He cheered up a bit after lunch – although complained that his kebabs were not as good as the ones he gets from Kosta’s Hellenic chew and spew take-away in Battersea Park.”&lt;br /&gt;“He will be checking out tomorrow and travelling to Sandringham to spent Christmas with the rest of the Royal Family, and is expected to take part in the traditional Yuletide ‘Peasant Bashing’ horseback chase on Boxing Day.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This is the second such psychological distress incident suffered by the Prince in recent weeks – the first when his Winter Fuel Allowance giro failed to arrive on schedule – and then upon eventual receipt discovered it had been hit with a £50 quid reduction under Tory Chancellor George Osborne’s austerity measures.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Prince Philip was hospitalised earlier this year at the prestigious Harold Shipman Centre for Excellence in Health Care after a sense of humour transplant rejected him – a condition further complicated by the Royal’s fetish addiction for guacamole enemas which had left him chronically constipated – or as the red top tabloid gutter press described it with a fitting graphic banner headline at the time: “Phi the Greek Full of Shit”.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-2072165805532726123?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/2072165805532726123/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=2072165805532726123' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2072165805532726123'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2072165805532726123'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/phil-greek-has-boob-job-undone.html' title='Phil the Greek Has Boob Job Undone'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-1484989783217666286</id><published>2011-12-25T07:18:00.001Z</published><updated>2011-12-25T07:23:59.267Z</updated><title type='text'>Xmas Skewed News Roundup</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sectarian clashes broke out in Bethlehem on Christmas Eve between the occupied West Bank’s Palestinian Authority officials and agents of Israel’s Ministry of Expropriation – backed up by the IDF’s Hafganat Koah Brigade thugs.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Apparently the disturbance centred around the lucrative collection of ‘tributes’ paid by foreign pilgrims and tourists visiting the Church of the Nativity – the speculated ‘manky manger’ birthplace of Christ – with Rabbi Sheldon Scumbaum leading the affray and declaring to one press hack from the Chosen People’s Gazette that “Jesus was born a kike to a Jewish mother and would have supported the Zionist state of Israel – so the collection money belongs to us.”&lt;br /&gt;………………………..&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In his annual Urbi et Orbi speech to the crowds of gullible sheeple gathered in the Vatican’s St Peter’s Square last night, Pope Benny, the Mk XVI German ‘Ratflinger’ built-to-last model, last night went into total hypocrisy mode, condemning Christmas as being ‘commercialised – totally missing the point that his own Roman Catholic church has spent great industry and effort over the past 2000 years commercialising the very ‘religion’ that remains their lucrative bread and butter.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The ex-Nazi Pontiff, shuffling along on a Zimmer frame - and wearing his customary fishtail hat to amuse the children – plus being adorned in gold vestments to fully compound the hypocrisy - urged worshippers to see through the superficial glitter and discover the joys of emptying their wallets into the offertory plates.&lt;br /&gt;……………………….&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;At the Old Bailey on Friday - in a pre-Christmas ‘Triple-S’ surprise sentencing special - an unemployed homeless person who pushed a top ranking HSBC bankster under a Tube train in central London last October has been cleared of murder - but found guilty of fly tipping – a lesser offence. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It is expected that upon appeal this verdict will be overturned and one of ‘justifiable homicide’ returned.&lt;br /&gt;……………………………&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A Boxing Day strike by London Underground Tube drivers is set to go ahead after a High Court judge refused to halt it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Aslef, the union representing the Tube drivers, are demanding quadruple pay and two days off in lieu for working over the Christmas bank holiday.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Mr Justice Numpty refused to grant an injunction halting the 24 hour strike as he personally couldn’t give a flying shit if the tube trains ran or not - and in his opinion everyone should stay home at Christmas and play with their new toys.&lt;br /&gt;………………………….&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13470731&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;One of the world's largest insurance companies has organised a Christmas party orgy with prostitutes for its top salesmen at Berlin’s notorious Tekem Orloff Lap Dancing bar and strip joint - rumoured to be owned by the Ukranian mafia.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dildo-Staffel, a division of the German underwriting firm Munich Humpers, candidly confirmed that the party took place.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Gerhard Schnitcher, an investigative journalist for the media organisation Deutsche Grassup, told the BBC 2's Scandal Hour programme: "There was plenty of alcohol and 20 naked prostitutes on hand."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"They had colour-coded arm-bands, apparently. Turquoise for second-hand virgins - black for BD/SM Dominatrices - and red for the old toothless ‘suck n swallow’ blowjob slags - with white ribbon bands identifying the three-hole whores that had a genuine up-to-date VD/HIV clearance certificate – and who were all reserved for top management."&lt;br /&gt;………………………….&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-1484989783217666286?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/1484989783217666286/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=1484989783217666286' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1484989783217666286'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1484989783217666286'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/xmas-skewed-news-roundup.html' title='Xmas Skewed News Roundup'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-1927998336663952997</id><published>2011-12-24T08:10:00.003Z</published><updated>2011-12-24T08:20:17.246Z</updated><title type='text'>Scameron Pledges Problem Family Action</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Libservative coalition PM, Posh Dave Scameron, has tasked the Ministry for Wasting Time &amp; Money and the House of Conmans ‘What Can We Fuck With Next’ select committee with a joint venture project to finally sort out the worst of Broken Britain’s ‘problem families’ – with the immigrant ‘Wicked Windsors’ still topping the shit list in number one place for the Nth decade running over their continued abuse of pomp, circumstance and privilege.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A network of ‘Troubled Families’ teams will be given responsibility for locating and co-ordinating help for delinquent household units facing multiple challenges such as a disproportionate sense of personal entitlement and benefit privileges, a delusional ‘divine right’ propensity for land-grabbing, chronic unemployment – and congenital insanity issues caused by swimming for too long at the shallow end of the gene pool – aggravated through generations of interbreeding with their mongrelised regal blood relatives.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Speaking to one press hack from the Benefit Scroungers Gazette, Scameron declared he wanted to see leadership at the top – with action encompassing the entire social spectrum via local authority councils to tackle the problem – and turn around the lives of 120,000 dysfunctional families by 2050. &lt;br /&gt;To this end he was placing DWP Minister Iain Duncan Smith in charge of making a primary case in point of the sponging Windsor clan to act as an example to all that being a bunch of social parasites, living off the backs of others, is not acceptable in polite society.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Cabinet’s Behavioural Insight Team - aka the ‘Nudge Unit’ - have modelled this flawed strategy on the family intervention project adopted by Tony Bliar’s New Labour government in which a single social worker was sent on a suicide mission to gain an overview of the problems facing a family living on a sink or swim council housing estate - and to recommend the best course of action: get the lot on an AA rehab’ programme - or throw them in prison - or let them starve.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In the case of the elitist Windsor pariahs, who apparently have a family tree history of unemployment and milking welfare benefits that goes back a couple of centuries, Duncan-Smith related that “These sponging bastards have taken the taxpaying public for billions – so I intend to make them a one-off settlement of £448 million quid to move out and go back to where they came from – Germany and Greece.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“For Christ’s sake, they’ve got Buckingham Palace through the social housing scheme – with the rent and council tax paid – then my DWP staff discovered they have a second home up in Scotland at Balmoral. Talk about Benefits Britain and bleeding the welfare state dry – these people have been getting away with blue bloody murder and taking the cream off the jug every time.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Plus what is getting right up the noses of the public is the fact they’re all a bunch of bloody immigrants too. The old lady, Lizzie – the one who wears that silly crown and wanders around waving at the peasants, is a Saxe-Coburg-Gotha Kraut. Let’s not forget Mr Virus Man either – her sponging Greek git of a husband Philip Schlewig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Gluckburg – he might well go round wearing that Admiral’s Royal Navy jacket he got from Oxfam, but he’s been on the dole since Louis Mountbatten sneaked him into the country in the late 1930’s to keep him away from his Nazi friends in Europe.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Then you have their eldest lad Chazzer, the nutty one with the wingnut ears who’s just like his idle-arsed father – never done an honest day’s work in his life – and another suitable case for treatment who has his non-occupation on the Jobseekers Allowance form listed as a Plant Whisperer, for God’s sake.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Chazzer’s influence-peddling little shit of a brother, Andrew – we caught him out claiming benefits and disability allowance while he was working cash-in-hand for a bunch of arms dealers – bloody cheek. The sister, Anne, she’s another one who thinks she can get away with pulling a fast one on us – and we find out she’s got her own horses and stables – all funded out of her benefit fiddles.”&lt;br /&gt;“As to the youngest lad, Edward – well, he definitely is a hopeless case, lacking the brain power to shit straight and wipe his own arse. The only thing they’ll trust him with is going out to fetch a bucket of coal and take the corgis for a walk.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-1927998336663952997?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/1927998336663952997/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=1927998336663952997' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1927998336663952997'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1927998336663952997'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/scameron-pledges-problem-family-action.html' title='Scameron Pledges Problem Family Action'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-2006193943258400722</id><published>2011-12-23T07:56:00.008Z</published><updated>2011-12-24T16:53:19.364Z</updated><title type='text'>Mulholland’s Lockerbie Hypocrisy</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To mark the 23rd anniversary of the Pan-Am Flight 103 bombing over Lockerbie, Scotland, a somewhat morbid round of memorial services are being staged by the good ole US of A to remind everyone and their dog – yet again - what a bad set of bastards the followers of Islam really are – and provide a fresh boost of support for the never-ending war on terrorism.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Speaking from his imminent deathbed at Tripoli’s St Shylocks Hospital for Latter Day Stooges, Lockerbie bombing suspect and fall guy Mohammed al Patsy has given what he described to media hacks yesterday as his ‘last of the last’ interviews - and again denied any involvement in the 1988 plot to blow up Flight 103 and the team of CIA snitch and grasser agents who were on board.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Diagnosed as stricken with Galloping Prostate Rot – a virulent form of terminal cancer - Mr al Patsy was released from Scotland’s Grassy Knoll top security prison on compassionate grounds in 2009 and returned to Libya to fester and croak at home.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;While al Patsy and his suspected cohort Wormhole bin Jaffacake had a long history of involvement in black operations, and were bollocks deep in drug trans-shipments from the Middle East via Europe, and onto the States, it was a simple matter to write them into the script of the Pan-Am Flight 103 purposeful sabotage scenario and claim they shipped a bomb rather than the suitcases of heroin from Syria and Lebanon.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Once again, when we have Wiley T. Coyote in cahoots with Wallace and Gromit planning these ‘amateurs posing as professionals’ style black op’s they have a tendency to be more full of holes than an Irish colander.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;First off, with Pam Am Flight 103 we have a scenario so reminiscent of the Mossad false flag terror attacks on the WTC twin towers on 9/11 – when Israeli-related interests in New York were receiving texts, e-mails and Chinese whispers from a certain Freddy Fagin in Tel Aviv not to go anywhere near Manhattan on that fateful day – and sell short on United Airlines stock.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A partial list of US and South African officials who suddenly backed out of travelling on Pan-Am Flight 103 to New York on the 21st December 1988 were John McCarty, US ambassador; Steve Green, assistant administrator, office of intelligence DEA; Oliver Revell, son of Buck Revell, coincidentally FBI-head investigation for the Lockerbie case; John McCarty, US ambassador to Cyprus; Pik Botha, the former South African foreign minister; General Van Tonda, head of the South African Secret Service (BOSS) and Defence Minister General Mallon – plus Botha’s entire 22 head diplomatic delegation.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely one group of the CIA’s own, a Middle East team who had knowledge of rogue CIA illegal drug and weapons operations, didn’t receive word of the covert “don’t fly!” alert . These were CIA agents Charles McKee, Matthew Kevin Gannon, Daniel Emmet O'Connor and Ronald Albert Lariviere – all of whom perished – as planned - in the explosion of Fight PA-103.   &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Chaz McKee and his team had a ‘conflict of interest’ bee in their proverbial bonnet concerning CIA weapons shipments to Syrian terrorists - along with supplies to Hezbollah and Hamas - as well as the large quantities of drugs the CIA was facilitating for shipment into Europe and the US to finance their black op’s.  &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Top brass at Langley had attempted to stonewall their demands for answers - as has been the case in several other documented instances involving drug operations with the military and the DEA - but to no avail.  &lt;br /&gt;Hence McKee’s team of seasoned field intelligence vet’s were, out of frustration, flying home of their own accord – and against orders - to present their documented evidence to Congress.  &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This posed such a substantial threat to the CIA’s black op’s team in the Middle East that it was decided to eliminate the problem before it reached US turf and blew the rogue CIA-Jolly Jihadi terrorist group weapons and drug smuggling ring wide open.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In an obnoxious Busby Berkeley pantomime display of political posturing and self-promotion, Scotland's new Lord Advocate, Frank ‘Three Chins’ Mulholland, has travelled to the US to show his porcine face at the Flight PA-103 memorial service and laid a wreath in remembrance of the victims.&lt;br /&gt;Further to the above fiasco, the flabby Mulholland met FBI director Robert Mueller and US attorney general Eric Holder to discuss the ‘more scent than substance’ opportunities for stepping up the investigation in Libya into the bombing.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Full of his own exaggerated importance Mulholland informed press hacks "I think I would be failing in my duty if I didn't seek to take advantage of the opportunity that has opened up with the fall of Gaddafi regime – hence I am determined to get the answers about who else was involved with Mohammed al Patsy in the Lockerbie bombing – and if the evil Colonel Gaddafi was indeed the one who ordered it as he hated our democratic freedoms."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Quite agree there Frank – why not read the opening paragraphs of this blog for starters – steer you straight around the past media bullshit and put you on the right track.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hey, maybe Frank does intend to up-end a can of worms the CIA want leaving undisturbed. Better you take a boat home – and definitely not fly, laddie.&lt;br /&gt;Oh well, any effort is an improvement on no effort – and with a focus on hypocrisy, that’s a lot better than flatulent Frank’s doing back at home in bonny Scotland.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Since taking over his job at the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service as Lord Advocate from the departing corruption-smeared Elish Angiolini – Frank’s continued her insidious ‘Mired in Mendacity’ policy of ignoring / covering up the disgusting sexual abuse and serial rape pederast scandal surrounding the Ferryhill Freemasonic cabal of establishment elitist paedo’s – the Grampian Gropers - in Scotland’s kiddie fiddling and crime capital of Scaberdeen.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;These local worthies have, for decades past - and continue to – prey on special needs children with impunity – and use their official influence to thwart and persecute – and if necessary murder – any fucker and their dog who would attempt to expose their perverted criminal activities.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So hopefully – or perhaps in conjunction with – his campaign to expose the CIA’s global black op’s and drug-running (and clear the maligned name of Mohammed al Patsy) – he’ll find time to kick start a long overdue investigation into the Hollie Greig ritual sexual abuse scandal and call a halt to this Machiavellian ‘Breach of the Peace’ prosecution (read ‘persecution’) vendetta being acted out in true Groundhog Day fashion at Stonehaven Sheriff’s Court against pilloried Sassenach Robert Green – the sole crusader of moral conscience expediting a humanitarian campaign and attempting to achieve justice for Hollie and her mother Anne.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Anyone wanting to wish Frank luck with his endeavours against the Scaberdeen Masonic Mafia can contact him on: ps_copfs@scotland.gsi.gov.uk&lt;br /&gt;Go on, drop him a line – it is the Christmas and Hogmanay festive season, after all.&lt;br /&gt;While you’re at it, drop one to Aileen Campbell, the Minister for Children and Young People – I’m sure in her official capacity she’d love to expose this den of paedo’s. Aileen.Campbell.msp@scottish.parliament.uk&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;You might even try to enlist Scotland's ‘Commissioner for Children and Young People’ – one Tam Baillie. inbox@sccyp.org.uk&lt;br /&gt;And Gillian Wade too – as head of the National Sexual Crimes Unit (NSCU), based at the Crown Office in Edinburgh, Gilly’s got to be keen on investigating this gang’s criminal antics. gillian.wade@copfs.gsi.gov.uk&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Let’s have the lot heading down to Scaberdeen at a full gallop, mud-splattered and high in oath - all out to put the cuffs on Sheriff Graeme Buchanan and his kiddie fiddling Tartan Tadger Masonic cohorts.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Reflecting on Scotland’s Crown Prosecution Service and the Holyrood Parliament’s joint conspiratorial complicity regarding the inaction of investigating ‘with intent’ the Hollie Greig sexual abuse scandal, one calls to mind the words of John Locke, the 17th century ‘Age of Enlightenment’ English philosopher and empiricist – and founder of Liberalism - who observed that “Where the law ends, tyranny begins” – as is visibly evidenced by this Edinburgh and Scaberdeen based criminal cabal’s vendetta against Robert Green to ensure his silence and and continue to conceal the truth of the Scottish establishment’s tolerance of  (and indulgence in) disgusting sexual perversions – specifically kiddie fiddling.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Links:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;http://holliedemandsjustice-robertgreensblog.blogspot.com/&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;http://holliegreig.info/&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;http://www.sacl.org.uk/&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;http://www.firstfoot.com/scotchmyth/ssoemembers.htm&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-2006193943258400722?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/2006193943258400722/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=2006193943258400722' title='3 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2006193943258400722'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2006193943258400722'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/mulhollands-lockerbie-hypocrisy.html' title='Mulholland’s Lockerbie Hypocrisy'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>3</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-9074889107402126008</id><published>2011-12-22T07:05:00.003Z</published><updated>2011-12-22T07:15:23.515Z</updated><title type='text'>Libservatives Think Wood Grows on Trees</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Zillions of hectares of Britain's woodlands are being covertly flogged off by the Forestry Commission as it struggles to deal with the draconic cuts to its annual operating budget and meet the ridiculous financial targets imposed by Chancellor George Osborne and the Libservative coalition government - who can afford to invade Libya and make a total fuck of their infrastructure with mega-bucks of high tech’ military ordnance but won’t cough up a few bob to maintain our ancient forests for today - and the youth of tomorrow.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A detailed inventory of our once-sceptred isles sylvan lands, sold off by the dodgy Forestry Commission’s directors - which was, to all intents and purposes, charged with protecting our arboraceous reserves for future generations - reveals that it has raked in millions from sales to private companies, most of which have no aesthetic interest in the  dendrologic aspects of Mother Nature and whose commercial purpose for existence is the production of firewood and pulp for the manufacture of environmentally-friendly Kindle e-books.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Although the Tories’ ginger-mingin Environment Secretary, Caroline ‘Nannygate’ Spelman, she of the Desperate Dan chin and the type of moron who still thinks wood grows on trees, disingenuously claimed to have abandoned plans to sell off England's 258,000 hectares of state-owned woodland in February following the hue and cry from nature lovers - already one ‘greatly undervalued’ clandestine deal has gone ahead (in secret until the FC’s Frank Snitcher grassed them up) with the sale of the 712 acre David Kelly Memorial Woods in Oxfordshire for a measly £2.7 milion quid to the Sahara Forest Trading Company – along with Smegmadale’s iconic Grassy Knoll Park thrown in for an extra £50,000 nicker.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;New Labour’s shadow Environment Secretary, Douglas Fir, informed one reporter from the Scandalmongers Gazette that “The Forestry Commission is a  self-supporting entity that can easily run at a profit were it not for political appointees shoved in there to head the outfit – and who obey their Master’s voice when instructed by Spelman and her Tory cronies to flog off our historic woodlands for a fraction of their worth to party donors.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Tree huggers and like-minded campaigners are complaining that commercial buyers have barred the public from their newly acquired woodlands, despite signing legally binding contracts stating they will preserve traditional Right to Roam access for ramblers, leaf-pressers and pine cone collecting aficionados - plus the legions of squirrel ticklers and sheep shaggers – which might once again come down to a repeat of the 1932 Mass Trespass ‘Battle of Kinder Scout’ Mexican standoff and butting heads with ‘Graball Enclosedland’ style corporate bosses to regain access.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap &amp; Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No woodpeckers, squirrels, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals – otters, stoats or voles - were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of trees ended up at B &amp; Q as decking planks.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day: How can bears – or Ray Mears - continue to shit in the woods if they’re no more trees to provide a spot of privacy – and leaves for bum-wiping?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-9074889107402126008?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/9074889107402126008/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=9074889107402126008' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/9074889107402126008'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/9074889107402126008'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/libservatives-think-wood-grows-on-trees.html' title='Libservatives Think Wood Grows on Trees'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-1673602380544495325</id><published>2011-12-21T08:42:00.006Z</published><updated>2011-12-22T07:04:46.459Z</updated><title type='text'>Riot-Related Arsonists to be Shot on Sight</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A radical review jointly undertaken by Her Majesty's Inspectorate of Constabulary, in conjunction with the Ministry for What Can We Fuck With Next, has concluded, after long minutes of protracted deliberations - and e-mail input from Flop Gear’s Jeremy ‘Gobshite’ Clarkson - that Broken Britain’s Plod Squads should be sanctioned to shoot – on sight - rioters displaying an inclination for a spot of arson – with that proviso to include anyone in possession of what appears to be a box of matches, lighting up a rollie or a bifta – or caught in possession of a Molotov cocktail with an octane content of more than 75% ABV.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The review found that police training, equipment and organisation were developed largely to deal with set-piece single site confrontations, and not prepared for the widespread, fast-moving and opportunistic tactics employed by the ‘young, upwardly mobile’ protesters last August who, unlike the police, were generally composed of ranks of street smart, intelligent radicals, all able to think on their feet - and not dependent on radio orders from some faceless ranking uniform in the Plod Squad Fuhrer bunker.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;According to the Met’s iconic Bully Boy Handbook, officers need to be mob-handed and outnumber rioters by between three and five to one if they are to effectively move forward and make arrests – and not get their own arses kicked in the process. Hence to sharpen up the odds in the police’s favour, a technological edge is required – and with light sabres still being the stuff of Star Wars fantasy, then guns would be the preferred medium of advantage. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thus, applying subjunctive retrospect and 20/20 hindsight, the review concluded that the use of firearms would be justified given the immediacy of the risk and gravity of possible consequences - if the unemployed Bolshie bastard protesters currently comprising the ranks of the ‘We are the 99%’ get tired of sitting on their arses and ‘Occupying’ some insignificant public edifice – such as the Cottagers Heath public toilets - and decide to target high value commercial properties belonging to the City of London Corporation, or the Freemasons, or some panjandrum council chief’s theme park – or a few banksters’ mansions – or, Heaven forbid, the Royal Family – or the House of Conmans.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Such a ‘domestic terrorism’ scenario response would therefore, to the stagnated intellects of these self-proclaimed elitists now running Broken Britain, be warranted to protect their property from the rage of the disaffected and marginalised common peasantry – the lowly hewers of water and firewood – those that society’s crème de le crème (the Tories) regard with utter and visible contempt.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So that’s the powers-that-be game plan – done and dusted – kit the police out with firearms and live ammo – and shoot would-be arsonists in front of their families. Thank you, Jeremy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Whoa! Let’s just take a cautious and reflective step back here. Kitting your regular pigshit-thick Plod Squad morons out with handguns and Black Talon ‘scally-stopper’ bullets? Oh no – for fuck’s sake – it was the misuse of guns by the Met’s trigger-happy Shoot First Squad that caused the Tottenham riots in the first place! Bad boy Mark Duggan - targeted for extra-judicial termination and illegally killed (read ‘murdered’) in a one-sided shoot-out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Oh yeah, right - he had a gun – we found it 20 meters away from the minicab on the other side of a garden fence – which is where he must have chucked it after he shot PC Dildo’s radio then obliterating all traces of his blood, fingerprints and DNA on the weapon. Sounds reasonable – the Independent Police Coverups Commission will no doubt swallow that one whole” – and did – hook, line and sinker. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Fortunately the canny public, primed to detect a set-up after watching years of CSI repeats, didn’t and smelled a rat from day one – especially after the murder crime scene witnesses reported seeing one plod tossing a handgun over the afore-mentioned garden fence.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The IPCC’s bungling besides, the review maintains that the UK’s Plod Squads need to be better prepared, trained in the ‘rules of engagement’ and ready to fulfil their primary purpose for existence and protect the establishment’s property.&lt;br /&gt;Thus the government are pushing to improve on last August’s pathetic response to violence and looting, when in the New Year socio-economic hardships and tensions, currently building up at a geometric rate, reach a critical mass state and erupt once again into a nation-wide display of civil disobedience which could rapidly become a ‘circus without a tent’ scenario of further riots.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To combat this predicted eventuality, the Met’s Territorial Support Group’s Thug Squad are currently undergoing Taser deployment drills - plus water cannon training - with the use of hose pipes in Scotland Yard’s car park until the actual £1 million quid apiece ‘real thing’ arrives. &lt;br /&gt;However, following a bout of incidents involving severe electric shock trauma being suffered by officers it has now been mandated that further Taser training will be undertaken indoors and not while stood in puddles or handling hose pipes.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ms Candida Mingerot, head of the House of Conmans Home Affairs Select Committee, today commented to one press hack from the Fubar Gazette that “Water cannons are a good option to protect vulnerable areas and premises – especially if they’ve been set on fire - but I concede they need to be deployed in pairs to be effective and make sure protesters – or rioters - get really wet."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Okay, I’ll be the first to admit that the police response to last August’s riots was a total clusterfuck – amateurs posing as professionals. But it’s hard to justify mobilising the military to deal with a public disorder situation – especially as most of them would have to be flown back from Afghanistan on short notice and doubtless arrive jetlagged and good for nothing – apart from going to sleep – and we already have the numpty plods doing that.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“I suppose the Territorial Army could be used to take over logistical roles to free police officers for public order duties – but conversely that’s precisely the role for which our traffic wardens were promoted to form the ranks of these ubiquitous and officious jobsworth Community Enforcement Officers we now have infesting our neighbourhoods, is it not? And all bestowed with Stasi-like powers and licensed to kick in front doors and search private properties for evidence of subversive activities – such as dumping recyclable garbage in the wrong coloured wheelie bin as they spot-fined my Mother £60 quid for last week.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;At the opposite end of the socio-political spectrum Frank McSkanger, the director of ScumWatch, a volunteer group of whistle-blowing snitches tasked with scrutinising government abuses, opined to the media that “Well, fuckin’ well – so apart from being economically fucked wiv a large capital F, Broken Britain’s about ter go right over the top by sanctionin’ the imbecilic Plod Squad morons ter shoot on sight any fucker an’ their dog wot resembles an arsonist.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“For fuck’s sake, we can’t even trust them with Asp telescopic batons cos they go inter homicidal thug mode and beat innocent passer-by news vendors ter death – live on camera – like wot that PC Simon Harwood twat did ter Ian Tomlinson at the 2009 G20 demo’. A real April Fool’s Day all round that woz indeed.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Really, wot the fuck’s next? If we didn’t have enough wiv MI5’s psycho security forces suicidin’ the UK’s top weapons inspector fer tellin’ the truth, then blowin’ up London’s underground tube trains on 7/7 an’ blamin’ it on Mohammed al Patsy an’ his mates Larry, Shep and Mo' from Leeds – then multi-tappin’ a Brazilian electrician on his effin’ way ter change out a blown fuse at the local tannin’ parlour – just cos he looked ‘a bit Muslim-ish’, I ask yer.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Now the intent is ter use the August riots as a qualifyin’ factor excuse fer bestowin’ these hoodlums in uniform wiv the divine right ter shoot people on sight – an’ that’s the catalyst fer creatin’ a state of ‘impunitas sempre ad deteriora invitat’: ‘impunity always leads to greater crimes’.”&lt;br /&gt;“But that’s the New World Order agenda isn’t it, eh, This is wot the powers that be have bin ordered ter do – elbow out democracy fer technocracy – and usher in it’s bed partner fascism, right alongside it. They want the creation an’ maintenance of a dysfunctional society – an’ the wholesale disruption of British society is toppin' that agenda.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“They might well be spoutin’ off that the use of rubber bullets an’ baton rounds an’ CS gas an’ water cannons worked ter great effect ter control an’ counter civil unrest in Northern Ireland - but that woz a militarised operation."&lt;br /&gt;"An’ here yer see the truth in wot this effin’ Libservative government want - a state of military confrontation wiv their own citizens ter usher in their Big Brother martial law state like the Yanks have wiv their Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention bill an’ the National Defense Authorization Act.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Wot it comes down ter is this: the government need ter solve Britain’s socio-economic problems an’ create some effin’ jobs then if every fucker’s in work yer won’t get any Oppositional Defiance Disorder riots or lootin’ or arson.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-1673602380544495325?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/1673602380544495325/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=1673602380544495325' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1673602380544495325'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1673602380544495325'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/riot-related-arsonists-to-be-shot-on.html' title='Riot-Related Arsonists to be Shot on Sight'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-8919854714149562247</id><published>2011-12-20T07:24:00.001Z</published><updated>2011-12-20T07:30:41.832Z</updated><title type='text'>Ali G’s Manor Gets Snobby Re-Name</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Surrey township of Staines – aka Linoville – is to be re-branded as Staines-upon-Thames in a pathetic and fatally-flawed bid to give the dump ‘tourist appeal’ – under the faulty reasoning by town council leader Alderman Frank Dorkbury that “Well, it worked for the Polacks with Auschwitz so it might do here as well – and don’t forget, we are part of the Surrey stockbroker belt.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;With the main topic on the agenda at an extraordinary meeting of the borough council’s Committee for Wasting Time &amp; Money last week being ‘Renewal’ - councillors voted in favour to change the town's name to Staines-upon-Thames, with the aim of promoting its riverside location and boosting the flagging economy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To achieve this end they have further sanctioned the expenditure of tens of thousands of pounds in council taxes to be squandered on the staging of a spectacular Busby Berkeley style ceremony to mark the official renaming at the annual May Day celebration next year in which the May Queen (normally a second-hand virgin) is ritually drowned in the Thames as a sacrifice to the (as of lately absent) gods of capitalist commerce.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Staines councillors have been acutely sensitive concerning the town's negative image in the past mainly due fictitious resident of the ‘West Staines Massiv’ Ali G referring to the place as ‘the next thing on the deprived scale to a Third World landfill site’ – and ‘the dungheap God chucked over his shoulder then forgot about’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Councillor Bev Titwank recently hit out at toxic media reports following a statement by the local indie band ‘No Shit’ which classified Staines as ‘not so much a ghost town – just a fuckin’ dump’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Speaking to gutter press reporters Ms Titwank admitted “I know we’ve had problems with attracting not only start up business ventures but also shoppers due our lack of modern malls and entertainment facilities. However there’s always Staines Football Club – and while we did get a disappointing result in today’s match due Larry the goalkeeper being asthmatic and not so quick on his legs since his hip replacement op’ – last week we copped for that hard-earned draw against the Henshawe Blind Institute’s league-topping first team.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Soccer disasters and council chamber ire besides, it is an established fact that Staines only claim to fame was as the site of Frank Walton’s 19th century lino factory – long ago shut down in the Thatcherite era campaign of de-industrialising Britain so as to piss the unions off and achieve the nation’s current ‘Broken’ status.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;However, there to commemorate Walton’s cheap floor covering empire is a conspicuously gaudy bronze statue in the High Street of two blokes ignoring all HSE manual handling regulations while wrestling with a roll of lino and looking like they’re both going to be ringing in sick the next day with hernia problems (especially with a ‘bronze’ roll of lino being ten times the weight of the real thing).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely, regardless of the borough council’s enthusiasm for the re-naming, members of the younger generation are more critical. &lt;br /&gt;Baz McScrote, a 16-year old unemployed apprentice skateboard mechanic, opined to one press hack from the Vulgarians Gazette "That is so effin’ sad – the attempt to make Staines sound more posh than it is. Where the fuck did I put my barf bag?" &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Fellattia Mingerot, a 17-year old mother of three, told the media “Wot a waste of fuckin’ money by our dog-wankin’ council. It’s absurd an’ all a bunch of pretentious bullshit cos people are still gonna call it Staines – even if it is in effin’ Surrey. Why don’t they just re-name it Booyakashaville’?”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-8919854714149562247?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/8919854714149562247/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=8919854714149562247' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/8919854714149562247'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/8919854714149562247'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/ali-gs-manor-gets-snobby-re-name.html' title='Ali G’s Manor Gets Snobby Re-Name'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-7360246538388324565</id><published>2011-12-20T07:09:00.003Z</published><updated>2011-12-20T07:24:22.953Z</updated><title type='text'>Bankster Bailout Bill to be Scrapped</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The gospel according to the Libservative coalition’s Business Secretary Vince Cobblers, proclaimed from up on high this past weekend, states for the public record that the Independent Commission on Banking report’s conclusions and recommendations, researched and compiled by Sir John Vickers, will be enacted in toto – with Gordon ‘Incapability’ Brown’s 2008 Bankster Bailout Bill – (later amended by the Tories to become the Bankster Bailout &amp; Guaranteed Bonus Act 2010) – ditched along with the bathwater, baby and all.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Alas the sad – and too perplexing – news is that the statutes will not be in force until 2019 – another eight years hence. Que? Hello - WTF? If it was another piece of post false flag Big Brother anti-terrorist legislation like the 7/7 Mohammed al Patsy fiasco, to lock up some hapless twats sporting a sun tan and in possession of mosque membership cards and an A300 flight manual then it would be passed into law and enacted tomorrow – never mind eight fucking years down the road.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hence, we are thus inclined to believe the semi-substantiated rumours that the big banks have been working flat out like a lizard drinking - lobbying the Tory Chancellor, Georgie Osborne, to have him dilute Vickers’ hard-arsed banking reforms down to a truly homeopathic ‘one part per zillion’ level – or delay their enforcement until Hades freezes over – both factors that now bear an undeniable quality of verisimilitude. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Well, ‘tis the very fabric that conspiracy theories are woven from – and a sure fire fact that senior banksters acting on behalf of the Rothshite crime syndicate’s interests have met with Osborne and / or his ginger-mingin assistant Danny ‘The Rodent’ Alexander more times than enough since Vickers published his damning landmark ‘Ream the Banksters’ report in September – and it wasn’t to discuss the fucking weather.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Apparently the wholly incompetent Financial Services Authority is carrying out a half-arsed investigation into unsubstantiated reports concerning a clandestine meeting between the Commercial Secretary to the Treasury – the-now ‘Vermin in Ermine’ Lord Ja’akoff Baboon – (himself a former investment banker for the SG Warburg group) – and Mr Wormhole Jaffacake, the vice-chairman of Barclays - in October at Soho’s notorious Takem Orloff Lapdancing Club. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Frank McSkanger, the director of the ScumWatch public office abuse charity opined to one press hack from the Daily Shitraker “It’s just the effin’ same as when that prick Andy Coulson woz in Downin’ Street openin’ the access hatch fer the Mudrock’s media whores – an’ that other influence peddlin’ Adam Qwerty mate of Liam Pox’s at Defence. All a bunch of jukebox politicians – stick a few bob in an’ they’ll play any fuckin’ tune yer want.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Whistle-blowing Treasury moles working for the snitch and grassers watchdog Ox-Rat have revealed that in a fit of infantile dummy-spitting pique, the bankster bosses of the largest offenders – the gambling addicts running Barclays, Lloyds, HSBC and the Royal Bank of Scumland, have warned the Treasury mandarins that the Vickers’ reforms, if enforced in their current concentrated state, could harm the economy even more than the bankster’s customary incompetence in matters fiscal - and have threatened to move their headquarters out of Britain to pastures new – and tax-free – such as Liberia - in a pathetic attempt to generate government sympathy*** and concessions for their long overdue censured predicament. (*** sympathy – a word found in the dictionary right between ‘shit’ and ‘syphilis’).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So the top rank banksters, infected with the highly contagious 'Greedy Bastards' cognitive dissonance syndrome, are fighting furiously behind the scenes for the very survival of their obnoxious ‘win or lose’ mega-bucks performance bonus culture - and to limit, if not actually abrogate, any and all negative changes to their current criminal modus operandi of usurious Debtocracy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This Rothshite Shylock controlled cabal of  shulhani and neshekers are backs to the wall and hell bent on thwarting the Government's plans to implement Vickers’ draconic recommendations and overhaul the capitalist system – one currently based on the fatally-flawed principle of fractional reserve lending and granting 125% mortgage loans to punters on the off chance the recipient will win the Lotto jackpot at some point in the future and pay off the principle - as well as shedloads of rapacious interest.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sir John Vickers’ commission recommended that with the City’s money lending and counting house institutions currently operating with a financial stability mechanism that is as reliable and balanced as a paraplegic meerkat on a pogo stick, they should henceforth be required to ring fence their high street banking operations away from the condemned casino ‘money to burn’ derivatives and ‘credit default’ speculations - and the defective loan-swap investment operations.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Such a mandate is intended to eliminate the necessity of the hapless British taxpayers being forced to rescue them yet again – with the added proviso that if they refuse to conform then the Darwinian-Reykjavik doctrine of survival of the fittest should be applied to all troubled and insolvent bankster institutions – and let them go under like a concrete duck.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. In a world where the pursuit of personal ambition and material wealth over all else has become a religious catechism, then the sheeple, bolstered by the human nature factor of selfish greed surpassing any semblance of Biblical virtue, are intoxicated with illusions from the earliest stages of their youth.&lt;br /&gt;Regardless, fuck the Rothshite’s bankster crime syndicate and their corrupt politico muppets – and the New World Order.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-7360246538388324565?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/7360246538388324565/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=7360246538388324565' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/7360246538388324565'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/7360246538388324565'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/bankster-bailout-bill-to-be-scrapped.html' title='Bankster Bailout Bill to be Scrapped'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-2747415219033400920</id><published>2011-12-19T07:14:00.007Z</published><updated>2011-12-19T07:35:46.022Z</updated><title type='text'>Harassed in Hebron: Life Under the Jackboot</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Yep, that’s the banner headline: Harassed in Hebron - a life of subjugated repression under the rogue Israeli regime’s ZioNazi military state jackboot as the Christmas Season of Festive Goodwill to all Men on Earth draws near.&lt;br /&gt;And following the worst of shitty Shylock ‘schadenfreude’ traditions, Hebron has been bestowed with the whole schlemiel too. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Curfews, checkpoints, land confiscation, home demolitions, a constant rain of harassment and gratuitous violence from IDF troops and illegal settlers – plus a host of other insidious aspects provided by the Zionist’s criminal annexation of the misappropriated lands all add to the fun and games of a Palestinian’s daily struggle for survival in the rapidly-diminishing postage stamp sized West Bank.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And the undying ignominy of this felonious occupation that has worn Palestinian patience and dignity to the point of violent reaction bears the official imprimatur of PM Bobo Nuttyahoo and his fellow ‘Jews of convenience’ Satan worshippers that avoid the synagogue like the plague yet compose the ranks of the corruption-ridden Israeli Knesset and arrogantly declare themselves to be the Rothshite chosen elite - the ‘crème de la crème’ of Israeli society and the ‘Jewish state’ - yet are diametrically opposed to any and all of the more magnanimous teachings and principles of the Pentateuch / Torah.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;These Khazar-Ashkenazi impostors make us sick with their hypocrisy - promoting their aggressive Israeli unilateralism while waving the Māḡēn Dāwīḏ and their ubiquitous Holohoax banners and howling ‘anti-Semitism’ at every instance of stricture or criticism directed at their disgusting treatment and human rights abuses of the Palestinian population of the usurped state of ‘Palestine’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Yes Palestine – the country they stole from the rightful Muslim Semite owners in the 1948 Yawn an-Nakbha (Day of the Catastrophe) when kikester terrorist groups, comprised of the refugee scum of post-war Europe and Russian, drove out the Palestinian people and, applying rhetoric over common sense and logic, declared it was their Manifest Destiny – as God’s ‘Chosen People’ (legitimised as their Promised Land by a 1917 memo from the batshit crazy Lord Balfour to Baron Rothshite – the next best thing to an actual divine Deity / Jehovah) to establish the outlaw state of Israel on someone else’s property - and world opinion be damned.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, back to the daily sufferance of the marginalised population of Hebron - and specifically the plight of the schoolchildren – suffering under the despotic iron fist of the IDF’s Hafganat Koah Brigade bully boy psychos and the unprovoked aggressions of illegal Zionist settlers - plus the Shechita Ethnic Cleansing Squads who make great industry of the slaughter of innocent Palestinian civilians.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hebron’s Qurduba School has once again become a target for harassment by the IDF’s homicidal thugs, as new restrictions on freedom of movement bring a wave of vicious settler attacks and military violence.&lt;br /&gt;To reach school each morning, pupils between the ages of 6 and 13 - and too their female teachers - must navigate a maze of checkpoints and dangerous rabid settler-inhabited streets and endure a stream of constant physical and psychological assaults.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Since 2005, teachers and pupils attending the Qudruba School coming into the Israeli-controlled Old City had secured the right, through demonstrations, to bypass the daily metal detector scans and bag inspections at the checkpoint. Instead, they were able to pass through a side gate to reach their school.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;However, in a typical display of kikester vindictiveness, on the 11th October the local IDF commander, a psycho meshuggenah named Major Sheldon Scattstein, revoked this right for no reason. &lt;br /&gt;In response to this injustice, teachers refused to submit to inspection, and held a demonstration with more than one hundred of their students, who left their empty classrooms to join the teaching staff at the checkpoint which, following a typical demonstration of brutality by the IDF’s homicidal maniacs, nine of the pre-teen children ended up in hospital with injuries.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The brutal repression of that October checkpoint protest struck a chord in the Hebron community and inspired an outburst of support in a city all too accustomed to violations of the right to freedom of movement. &lt;br /&gt;Over the next two days, community members and representatives from the Hebron governor’s office, along with the director of education in Hebron, stood in solidarity outside of the checkpoint with the students and teachers of the Qurduba School, who held the school day’s lessons outside of the checkpoint. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;On the third day of demonstrations, IDF soldiers projected the high-LRAD sound cannon, nicknamed "the Supersonic Screamer," to burst the protester’s ear drums – then fired rounds of tear gas to forcibly scatter the crowd – dragging scores of teachers and pupils off to jail in the aftermath. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A recent report circulated by the Ox-Rat and Amnesty human rights and wrongs charity groups cites the testimony of Raghad Hashim Younis al-Azza, a ten-year-old student of the Qurtuba School, originally published in the Pound of Flesh Gazette.&lt;br /&gt;"In Novermber I was going to school with a bunch of my classmates and came round the corner of the St Shylock Temple for Latter Day Kikesters when we saw Freddy and Felix – the Fagin twins - across the street, outside the entrance to our school – daubing the wall with graffiti that read “Jabotinskyism Rules!” and "Gas the Arabs! - Jewish Defence League." (obviously an idea picked up from Hitler’s lads during the Holohoax).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“When we shouted at them, they called a gang of their mates who attacked us with stones while the IDF troops watched – laughing. Then when some of our male classmates ran out of the school playground to defend us and started throwing stones back at them, the soldiers fired baton rounds at us and one hit my friend Abrar on the head.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“We all ran screaming into the school and told our teachers who came to the assistance of Abrar but her body had gone and the soldiers said she had been taken to the hospital. But later her mother went there and was told her daughter had been killed – and when she claimed the body from the mortuary it had been cut right open and stitched back up again – and her heart, liver and kidneys stolen for the IDF’s criminal black market transplant organs trade.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. The tactics of the Israelis and their strategically-invested Western government / media lobbies plumb the depths of dishonour and indecency - and include character assassination, selective misquotation, the wilful distortion of the record and the fabrication of falsehoods - plus an utter disregard for the truth.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The chauvinist cult of Zionism and the existence of the illegal rogue state of Israel cannot be defended - ethically, morally or intellectually – and the only thing missing from over the IDF checkpoints in the West Bank and Gaza Strip is a fucking swastika and an ‘Arbeit Macht Frei’ sign.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Regardless, bollocks to the Rothshite bankster’s crime syndicate base and their New World Order.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A word to the wise for these ZioNazi scumbags – beware the Jaysh al-Usra and the Jaysh al-Hisbah and the coming Third Intifada.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a hostile environment infested with Māḡēn Dāwīḏ ultra-Zionist nutters and may contain traces of Holohoax ‘victims’ propaganda, unqualified arrogance, racist apartheid innuendo, lashings of kikester chutzpah and quantifiable amounts of utter lunacy – plus a total disregard for the statutes of international law, human rights and the niceties of a polite and civilised society.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-2747415219033400920?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/2747415219033400920/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=2747415219033400920' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2747415219033400920'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2747415219033400920'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/harassed-in-hebron-life-under-jackboot.html' title='Harassed in Hebron: Life Under the Jackboot'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-1305429363530340635</id><published>2011-12-19T07:08:00.003Z</published><updated>2011-12-19T11:34:24.939Z</updated><title type='text'>Tories Cop for Nazi Sympathies Scandal</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;During an interview with a press hack from the Fubar Gazette, the hapless Burley claimed he should have left the stag party earlier, prior to the erotic floorshow by Takem Orloff’s Stuttgart Strippers Revue, and not hung around enjoying himself, getting drunk, throwing Sieg Heil salutes and engaging in a risible session of black humour concentration camp jokes about the SS versus the Jews at the Auschwitz sports day. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Due the current brouhaha concerning the scandalous juvenile behaviour of Aidan Burley, the Tory MP for Cannock-on-the-Rhine, who attended a Nazi-themed stag party at the Vichy French Alpine ski resort of Klonkers - where the minimum wage pikey immigrant waiters had their forearms tattooed with profane German graffiti, and were then subjected to ridicule - and urinated on from a dizzy height by vulgarian Kraut guests pissing through the banquet hall’s balcony rails.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;After photos and video footage of the hell-raising event were leaked to the Whistle Blowers Weekly and posted on Facebook and YouTube – which included Burley toasting Hitler and the Third Reich then snogging a pig dressed in a pink tutu and wearing an Angela Merkel mask - he was summarily sacked from his lucrative House of Conmans post as the PPAL (Personal Private Arse-Licker) to Transport Secretary Justine Greenfly.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Downing Street spokeswoman Fellattia Mingerot informed press hacks that ''Aidan has been a very wicked boy, wearing that silly Adolf style toothbrush moustache and a swastika armband – and then doing the goosestep to the tune of the Lambeth Walk. That’s why Posh Dave’s ordered his name entered into the Big Black Naughty Book.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In relation to the afore-mentioned Burley faux pas and ensuing scandal, the paranoid-psychotic ex-FIA boss Max ‘Spankies’ Mosley has issued a press release denying he was present at the party and that his Gruppenfuhrer uniform is currently away at the dry cleaners having jizz stains removed. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-1305429363530340635?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/1305429363530340635/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=1305429363530340635' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1305429363530340635'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/1305429363530340635'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/tories-cop-for-nazi-sympathies-scandal.html' title='Tories Cop for Nazi Sympathies Scandal'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-2534797940216982142</id><published>2011-12-18T07:45:00.004Z</published><updated>2011-12-18T07:57:06.065Z</updated><title type='text'>UK Unemployment: Order into Chaos</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;One glance at the state of the UK’s unemployment crisis is enough to kick start any socio-political anarchist type into storming out of their state of complacency to oil the wheels of the tumbrels and put a shaving edge on the guillotine blade – then make ready to storm the ramparts of the over-privileged elitists and bring the entire corrupt ‘Debtocracy’ edifice of this crony capitalist government crashing down upon their treasonous skulls.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt;Broken Britain’s gone ‘down’ the tubes – yet conversely, in a total diametrically-opposed heading the jobless working class are ‘up’ shitcreek without a paddle. And why are we in this dire predicament we might well ask? Because to emasculate our insular self-sufficiency potential ready for EUSSR domination our once-sceptred isle’s entire paddle making industry was outsourced to fucking India and a host of other contemporary Third World landfill sites in the 1980’s by Slaggie Twatcher’s Tory administration and their self-immolation policy of de-industrialisation.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But of course the superbly arrogant Posh Dave Scameron, even though gifted with 20/20 hindsight when purveying the reasons for Britain’s demise as an industrial power and manufacturing colossus, will doubtless avoid acknowledging the blatant fact that his split-arsed predecessor, Slaggie Twatcher, that shot-up Grantham grocer’s daughter, was personally responsible for making a bollocks of British industry – plus being the causal ‘first draft’ author of our nation’s current socio-economic plight.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Though one is prompted to speculate who, in their profound ignorance, bestowed Twatcher – (the same parsimonious Tory bitch who scuttled the schoolkids’ free milk concession in 1971) – with the Prime Ministerial authority to give the unions the big finger and make a fuck of the UK’s iconic manufacturing cornucopia – and devastate the careers of tens of thousands of skilled engineers and artisans – and doom generations of youth to come to an existence of unemployment in a jobless - and skill-less - environment?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To wit, UK unemployment rose by 128,000 in the three months to October, to a gob-smacking 2.64 million - the highest level recorded since 1945 when the majority of British troops not required at the farthest reaches of the Empire to bang Bolshie native’s heads together and put down Independence movements were demobbed back in Blighty as there were no more nasty Nazis left to kill. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Respectively, in the same period, youth unemployment rose to 1.27 million, the highest since records began in 1066, beating the previous chart-topper set in the reign of William IV, when an age limit of 10 was imposed for hiring child chimney sweeps in 1834, casting legions of sooty little underage waifs and strays out of work and onto the streets to beg and starve – a shocking figure that the Office of National Statistics have since referred to as ‘an awful lot’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely the number of people out of collar and claiming Jobseeker's Allowance rose by a further 30,000 after November 5th when part-time recycling work on Bonfire Night fuel collections and Guy Fawkes impersonations ceased – yet the rate of increase in the claimant count has been displaying signs of slowing down as more unemployed peasants fail to qualify for benefits after completing the mandatory Stage 4 ‘Work or be Damned’ programme in a jobless wilderness and coming up empty-handed – thus can’t be arsed turning up at the Jobcentre to sign on every fortnight and get sweet fuck all in return for their efforts.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As Bev Titwank, a 16-year old mother of three from Greater Manchester’s Stench Hill sink or swim council housing estate told one Daily Shitraker gutter press hack outside the Scallyshawe Jobcentre this week: “Yer not gonna get any effin’ Jobseekers Allowance if there’s no fuckin’ jobs ter seek, now are yer, eh? Stands ter effin’ reason, don’t it.  Yer don’t need a fuckin’ NVQ1 degree in Rocket Science ter work that one out. So it’s no effin’ wonder we’re all on drugs an’ binge drinkin’ an’ shit when yer trapped in this vicious cycle of joblessness, anxiety an’ depression."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“I woz down here at the Jobcentre last week coz I wanted ter use their phone ter call me mate in Albania wot got hitched ter this pikey swan poacher - an’ got me arse dragged in fer an ‘employment status review’ – an’ woz offered two weeks seasonal work as a turkey plucker’s mate fer £3 quid an hour. Well, it woz that or a job at Poundland as a Santa Claus – but yer had ter grow yer own beard. So I looked at this ‘personal counsellor’ bitch an’ sez “Are you takin’ the piss or wot?”&lt;br /&gt;“That’s why I’m leavin’ the sprogs at me Mum’s an’ headin’ off inter town every night floggin’ me golly fer £200 quid a poke – an’ £50 nicker extra if yer want a round-the-world three hole suck an’ swallow job thrown in. All cash in hand an’ tax free too, thanks very much.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;However, pursuit of the second oldest profession besides, Broken Britain’s youth continues to bear the brunt of the lack of jobs in the UK - a problem shared by many other countries around the world – apart from West Africa where they can join up as ‘Child Soldiers’ with the local militia’s Popular Front Army as soon as they can walk, wipe their own arse – and learn to load and cock an AK47 assault rifle.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-2534797940216982142?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/2534797940216982142/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=2534797940216982142' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2534797940216982142'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2534797940216982142'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/uk-unemployment-order-into-chaos.html' title='UK Unemployment: Order into Chaos'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-3902703580429797224</id><published>2011-12-18T07:39:00.001Z</published><updated>2011-12-18T07:45:02.625Z</updated><title type='text'>Skewed News Views Roundup</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;BBC Festive Season Warning on Fake Booze&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;How to spot gash bottles of Bailey’s Kremlin Kream and Drop Dead vodka? Easy – the bottles are surrounded by snuffed Russians strewn across the floor.&lt;br /&gt;…………………………………&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Chelsea’s Frank Lampost Benched&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Chelsea mid-fielder, the 96-year old Frank Lampost, conspicuously absent from his team’s starting line-up yet again, told one press hack from the Backstabbers Gazette that “It’s the manager - Andrea Villas-Boas. He’s cut me off – I’m powerless. While I might not shine as bright as I used to – the short-arsed Portuguese twat’s just left me in the dark.”&lt;br /&gt;“Bit of a shock as I always considered meself ter be a guidin’ beacon to light the path fer youth team players.”&lt;br /&gt;………………………………&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Political Correctness Goes Bonkers&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Teachers in charge of a Yorkshire toddlers’ kindergarten group have changed a potentially offensive sign language gesture in a nursery rhyme.&lt;br /&gt;The hand gesture for Twinkle Twinkle Little Star contains a symbol that could be misinterpreted as indicating the human female genitalia – colloquially referred to as the ‘pussy’, ‘snatch’ or ‘cunt’. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Common Purpose-trained (read ‘NLP brainwashed batshit crazy’) staff at the Numb Nuts Sure Start centre in Moronborough made the changes after attending a sign language course and realising the hand actions for the word ‘star’ had a dual meaning and a recital of the iconic nursery rhyme might be interpreted by a deaf mute with a one track mind as ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Twat’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ms Bev Titwank, the assistant director for young people's services, informed one press hack from the Ambiguity Review that "The decision was taken to prevent deaf children or deaf parents being offended by the use of the gesture and to ensure that the correct sign language signal was used.” &lt;br /&gt;"However, parents have not been banned from using the ‘other’ naughty sign as the Yorkshire Education Authority does not have a policy over this matter – preferring people to use their common sense when calling a spade a ‘spade’ – or, in this particular case, a cunt a ‘cunt’, for that matter."&lt;br /&gt;……………………………………&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;UK’s Historical Enemies – Daggers Drawn&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In a typical display of back-stabbing sour grapes for Posh Dave Scameron vetoing the fatally-flawed EUSSR treaty change last week – designed to federalize the 27 member community into a German-dominated Nazi model fascist state, the moronic French Finance Minister Francois Le Merde (aka Le Enfant Imbécile) has joined PM Francois Fillet Mignon become the latest Gorf (backward ‘frog’) to allege that Broken Britain’s economic situation is less than perfect – and in a worse state than their own – and hence divert attentions from Standard &amp; Poor’s threat to slash their treble AAA credit rating to triple ZZZ. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So here we have yet another over-paid clot that, despite his bandied academic credentials and attaining a lofty official position of political power, is not particularly bright when it comes to the thinking game.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Britain’s working classes (unemployed, part-timers and otherwise) are acutely aware of their once-sceptred isle’s fiscal problems – as half the country’s homeless - plus every other fucker and their dog – the great unwashed 99% - no longer have a pot to piss in, never mind a couple of £1 quid coins to rub together – and do not require some dingbat French dog wanker to point out the obvious.&lt;br /&gt;……………………….&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-3902703580429797224?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/3902703580429797224/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=3902703580429797224' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/3902703580429797224'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/3902703580429797224'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/skewed-news-views-roundup.html' title='Skewed News Views Roundup'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-2086696731301680192</id><published>2011-12-17T09:51:00.005Z</published><updated>2011-12-17T10:53:32.816Z</updated><title type='text'>ZioNazis to Ban Muslim Call to Prayer</title><content type='html'>In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Not content with treating the true Arab Semite Palestinian owners of ‘Palestine’  like third-hand citizens in their own country, the usurping Zionist thieves, these Satan-worshipping Ashkenazi Jews of convenience, in yet another of their customary chutzpah displays of Islamophobia, are in the process of drafting legislation to ban the Muslim call to prayers in Jerusalem and the occupied West Bank. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Israel’s arch-Jabotinskyist Prime Minister, Bobo Nuttyahoo and his institutionally-corrupt 120 member Knesset have endorsed a bill proposed by Yisrael Beiteinu Party member Sheldon Sheeneyberg to impose a ban on muezzins calling the faithful to worship from the top of a mosque’s minaret – claiming the practice is noisy and the pre-dawn ‘Fajr’ disturbs the sleep of Israeli infidel non-believers in a morning.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Israeli ultra-ZioNazi Foreign Minister Avi Lieberslime, a batshit crazy suitable case for mental health sectioning - known to friends and associates alike as ‘a right nasty little cunt’ - informed one press hack from the Chosen Peoples Gazette that “This noise also poses an equal distraction when they start howling their nightfall ‘Isha’a’ and I am unable to hear my television news describing how many Palestinian homes, vineyards, and olive groves have been bulldozed and demolished in the West Bank to make way for more of our settlers.”&lt;br /&gt;“This is not racism - we are doing no more than in France and Switzerland, where they have enacted a Muezzin Law – and also banned Muslims wearing veils.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely, Ms Shovrim Shtika, the director of the Jerusalem-based International Scumwatch charity, interviewed by the Yawm an-Nakbah Review, opined that “This is yet another criminal instance of Zionist Israeli intransigence and their slow-cook genocide policy designed to target Palestinian Muslims and Arabs in the occupied territories.”&lt;br /&gt;“No doubt we’ll have the IDF’s Shechita Ethnic Cleansing Squad out and about next week, with their snipers picking off the muezzins atop their minarets as soon as they begin the call to prayers.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“It has been prudently noted that no mention has been made in opposition to Jewish worshippers going down to the St Shylock Temple for Latter Day Kikesters and banging their stupid heads against the Wailing Wall day and bloody night – having an all-out whinge to Jehovah and moaning away in bloody Hebrew or Yiddish that they didn’t win the Lotto.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day. Fuck the Rothshite banksters and their sovereign Zionist crime syndicate ‘bolthole’ state of Israel - and their New World Order.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a hostile environment infested with Māḡēn Dāwīḏ Zionist dingbat nutters and may contain traces of Holohoax ‘victims’ propaganda, unqualified arrogance, racist apartheid innuendo, lashings of kikester chutzpah and quantifiable amounts of utter lunacy – plus a total disregard for the statutes of international law, human rights and the niceties of a polite and civilised society.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-2086696731301680192?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/2086696731301680192/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=2086696731301680192' title='1 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2086696731301680192'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2086696731301680192'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/zionazis-to-ban-muslim-call-to-prayer.html' title='ZioNazis to Ban Muslim Call to Prayer'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-6227099143439579553</id><published>2011-12-16T08:27:00.002Z</published><updated>2011-12-16T08:34:46.367Z</updated><title type='text'>Protest Polly: Time’s ‘Person of the Year’</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, who the fuck is Time’s Person of the Year? This ‘Protester’ in the gangsta mask with the ‘come to bed’ (and shag my brains out) eyes? This concealed face of treasonable dissidence visibly agitating sedition against crony capitalism and the fatally-flawed fractional reserve lending / Rothshite IMF bankster system of Debtocracy? &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The eyes of violent revolt above the veil reveal the very soul of the harbinger of radical change - ready to storm the ramparts of the world’s authoritarian regimes and overthrow corrupt despots - whose fascist, kleptocratic bureaucracies are well past their sell-by dates.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The pic’ reflects the profundity of the New World Order’s contrived, agitated and funded demonstrations that have been staged during this past year - from the Tunisian Arab Spring - to ‘Bye-Bye Colonel Gaddafi’ and the decimation of the Libyan infrastructure - to Occupy Wall Street and the UK’s recent anti-badger cull rallies.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Then who is the Protester in the mask? Well, it’s definitely not the world’s most hated woman – Faida Hamidi – the arrogant slut responsible for kick starting the Arab Spring revolts.&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, is it Bill – or is it Bev? Looks a bit like a female of the species, but in this unisex / anything goes global society of ours it could well be any radical Bolshie activist twat – even a cross-dressing faggot in his sister’s Friday best mosque-going outfit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Is it a new-look Bruce Wayne? The Lone Ranger? That celebrity fugitive nanny-basher, Lord Lucan? Martin Bormann in drag? Is it the Scarlet Pimpernel – or the equally-elusive Banksy – or the Stig? Or Kate Middleclass in a yashmak, perhaps? The Guesstimate possibilities are endless.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Are you Time’s Person of the Year? Were you the catalyst who set fire to a Tunisian fruit vendor in Sidi Bouzid’s public square and incited the 2011 Arab Spring protests? Were you awarded the Sakharov Prize for chucking cobbles and Molotov cocktails at a large government building? Have you been Tasered or CS gassed by riot police? Shot in the arse with a baton round? Bludgeoned to a pulp by Bahrain’s barbaric Plod Squad? How about pepper sprayed on campus by some fat US cop with halitosis and shit for brains?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could be one of the lucky winners set to receive The Protester’s cellphone number and postal address and do battle to see who can get into her knickers first.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-6227099143439579553?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/6227099143439579553/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=6227099143439579553' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6227099143439579553'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6227099143439579553'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/protest-polly-times-person-of-year.html' title='Protest Polly: Time’s ‘Person of the Year’'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-2577636796615463009</id><published>2011-12-16T07:57:00.007Z</published><updated>2011-12-16T08:57:28.888Z</updated><title type='text'>US Iraq Troop Pull-Out: to Syrian Border</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Today the good ole US of A’s hypocrisy-ridden ‘Beacon of Democracy’ Stars and Stripes flag has been lowered in Baghdad’s Green Zone at a ceremony designed to formally mark the end of ‘official’ US military operations in Iraq after nearly nine years of looking for non-existent weapons of mass distraction – plus contaminating the entire Tigris-Euphrates once-fertile crescent region with depleted uranium (radioactive half-life a mere 90,000 years) – and killing or maiming every fucker old enough to bleed.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The gospel according to the California-based Project Body Bag, an excess of one million Iraqi civilians – mainly women and children – have been killed and maimed since the illegal US-led invasion and occupation of the country was kick- started in 2003 by the dynamic duo of Super-Moron Dubya Bush and Tony ‘Porky Pies’ Bliar on the conjured pretext that Saddam Hussein’s regime possessed an arsenal of WMD - a free fire fiasco that turned order into chaos and initiated a sectarian conflict that has so far claimed countless innocent lives – and perhaps as many again involving a smorgasbord of guilty parties.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In a White House speech yesterday, the Kenyan impostor US President Barky O’Barmy hailed the extraordinary (sic) achievement of the military in Iraq and claimed they were leaving with heads held high (to provide a better target for insurgent militia snipers) – so reminiscent of Nixon’s hypocritical ‘Peace with Honour’ declaration when the Yanks scarpered out of Vietnam with their tails between their legs double-quick – defeated by a bunch of ‘emaciated gooks in black pyjamas’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;According to O’Barmy “The Iraqis owe the US a bit round of thanks for everything that American troops have done there – the white phosphorous attacks on Fallujah, all the fighting and killing – and devastating their entire civilian infrastructure and socio-political system. So let it be a lesson to any other Ayrab-Muslim dictators that get their names on our shit list - watch out – the Great Satan’s about!”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely, this purported troop withdrawal besides, the US Embassy in Baghdad, with it’s already bloated staff of 8,000 personnel – is to be doubled to an actual 16,500 – to cater for US and related Western interests and form the hub of a massive Mid-East intelligence operation centre – (and perhaps provide Iran’s Revolutionary Guard’s Electronics Warfare Division with a steady supply of hijacked ROV stealth RQ-170 Sentinel and MQ-9 Reaper remote drones).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Intrinsic to this doubling of embassy staff with even more spooks and assassins - as the corruption-ridden and inept Iraqi government have stated they fear the consequences of being left to manage their own security - will be the involvement of scores of military specialist companies – including the disgraced and previously evicted / barred Slackwater XE Murder Services LLC – now disinfected and with past sins absolved by a team of paramilitary bishops and a ranking Vatican Cardinal - and re-branded by its new owners, USTC Holdings - a Wall Street investment group – as ACADEMI - (an ambiguous and cryptic play on semantics implying that all their mercenary employees will have a university degree in Homicidal Studies).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, from the sidelines, now the US military psycho’s Operation Rape &amp; Ruin in Iraq is over and they leave in their wake their customary ‘Order into Chaos’ trail of devastation, the Sunnis and Shites are gearing up for a long-overdue civil war showdown – with the hard-arsed Kurds stood on the sidelines ready to pick up the pieces and take charge - and proclaim “We are not America’s bitch!” as they prepare to kick out the US oil corporations and invite the Chinese in.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Meanwhile, the Iraq-based US troops from the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment and 18th Body Bag Brigade will not be repatriated Stateside immediately – apart from those returning to Dover Airfield feet-first to have their dismembered limbs  and festering torsos unceremoniously dumped on some Delaware landfill site.&lt;br /&gt;Oh no, the final destination for these hotshots is the King Hussein al-Mafraq Air Base in Jordan – positioned right on the Syrian border - ready to play their belligerent part in the next episode of the ‘Let’s Start World War Three’ melodrama – a rehash of the Libyan regime change scenario to oust President Assad’s beleaguered government and replace the leadership with a member of the Muppet Show.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-2577636796615463009?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/2577636796615463009/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=2577636796615463009' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2577636796615463009'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2577636796615463009'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/us-iraq-troop-pull-out-to-syrian-border.html' title='US Iraq Troop Pull-Out: to Syrian Border'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-4586850041935736607</id><published>2011-12-15T07:15:00.005Z</published><updated>2011-12-15T07:57:39.266Z</updated><title type='text'>Badgers Okay Trial Cull of Tory Ministers</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Several cetes of senior badgers from around the UK have been meeting this week in a secret clan conclave, chaired by the iconic Mr Tod, in the thick of the David Kelly Memorial Woods adjoining the Brock Hotel in Oxfordshire, to discuss plans to undertake a trial culling of MPs and Ministers during the New Year in an attempt to tackle congenital stupidity around Westminster and Parliament concerning their species being blamed for the spread of contagious bovine tuberculosis in Broken Britain’s cattle herds.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Apparently topping the cull hit list in Posh Dave Scameron’s Zillionaire’s Cabinet is the expenses scandal-smeared Tory MP for East Nannygate - and incumbent Defra Minister, Caroline Spelman – she of the conspicuous Desperate Dan chin and ginger mingin thatch. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;After reading of psycho Spelman’s grasping at straws ‘kill’em all!’ speciesism remedy to the bovine TB problem in discarded copies the Farmers Weekly and the Badger Baiters Gazette on a landfill site – to task Defra with the extermination of droves of another sentient mammalian species – a group of ‘young Turk’ badger activists decided they weren’t going to suffer another series of genocidal Holocausts like the Great Shaving Brush Massacres of yesteryear – hence the clan gathering to devise a plan to protest and thwart Spelman’s anti-badger Final Solution scheme.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The key strategy formulated is to ignore the fact that ‘sympathy’ is sited in the dictionary right between ‘shit’ and syphilis’ – and utilise their black and white furry mien and comic ambling gait to advantage – to play on the ‘cuddle’ factor and stir up the voting public’s empathy in support of their ‘survivalist’ cause – with the generated nationwide outcry of indignant rage over the proposed ‘ethnic cleansing’ programme directed back at Spelman and Defra.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;While marches with banners and placards - nor the ‘We are the 99%’ approach - are really suited to a badger-themed ‘wildlife conservation’ protest, the ‘Occupy’ thesis most definitely is – with plans now laid to burrow and invest Parliament Square’s turfed acres during the Christmas holiday and excavate a cavernous system of setts – turning the entire green into a massive clan colony by the time the House of Conmans resumes its sessions in January.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Private animal-loving sponsors have now formed a Badger Power group and aligned themselves with the Badger Trust charity – and contracted publicity supremo Max Clifford’s agency to promote a campaign to support the badger’s cause – with displays of romping baby badgers planned on the Westminster lawns to win the hearts and minds of children, Grandmas, and soppy tourist types – and an Adopt a Badger scheme – plus the sale of dartboards and punchballs adorned with the wicked Spelman’s ‘Witchiepoo’ face.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-4586850041935736607?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/4586850041935736607/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=4586850041935736607' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4586850041935736607'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4586850041935736607'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/badgers-okay-trial-cull-of-tory.html' title='Badgers Okay Trial Cull of Tory Ministers'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-5867741412187859613</id><published>2011-12-14T07:46:00.005Z</published><updated>2011-12-14T08:02:31.099Z</updated><title type='text'>101 is the All-New 999</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Ministry for What Can We Fuck With Next, working with Plod Squads across the grim, depression-hit north of England, have introduced a novel three-digit numerical dialling sequence for non-emergency use – in a concerted effort to divert calls from unemployed peasants ringing up every morning to see if the police have any vacancies or odd jobs going.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt;The number, 101, is designed to cut the flood of 999 calls currently being ignored at police stations across the region by redirecting the amount of minor crime and anti-social behaviour reports to alternative unmanned call centres in Bangalore and Delhi – six times zones east of Greenwich.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The idiotic scheme is being introduced by North Yorkshire, Cleveland, Cumbria, Smegmadale and Northumbria police forces – with the Libservative coalition government’s cabinet think tank – the nutty ‘Nudge Unit’ - pushing for all Plod Squads in England and Wales to have a direct 101 line to call centres in India or the Philippines by the end of March 2012.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Chief Constable Jack Knobhead, of North Yorkshire’s Plod Squad, interviewed yesterday on the BBC’s ‘Spot-a-Scrote’ programme, explained that "101 is a memorable number wot’s gonna make it easier fer people ter make enquiries an’ report non-emergency crimes like anti-social behaviour an’ murder – via contactin’ their local ‘Safer Neighbourhood’ monitorin’ team – wot since our budget’s bin slashed all ter shit now consists of some civilian duffer an’ their dog in Poundland hi-viz jackets wot stepped up fer the job under Posh Dave Scameron’s barmy Big Society scheme.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Originally we did try fieldin’ a couple of teams of our ‘volunteer plods’ – the PCSOs an’ recycled traffic wardens – them Community Enforcement Officer pricks on hire from Renta-Thug, but collectively they proved ter be a bit ‘intellectually challenged’ – wot’s known around these parts as bein’ as thick as pigshit – a bunch of morons lackin’ the brain power ter wipe their own arses. So that idea got kiboshed after the public slapped ‘em wiv the name ‘Muppets’ – wot’s one of them acronym thingies fer Most Useless Plastic Plod Ever Trained.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"However, the new system’s designed ter make the boys in blue even more accessible ter our communities while at the same time reducin’ pressure on the emergency services response system – especially when yer have folks wot’s got 999 on their cellphone’s speed dial an’ only call up fer the weather forecast or Lotto results – or report that their BT Broadband connection’s runnin’ very slow an’ that they’re unable ter log on ter Facebook – or some twat’s posted a nasty comment about them on Twitter.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Then yer got Grandma ringin’ up wiv some tale that Achmed the postman’s carryin' a big bag around wiv him an’ she reckons it’s got an al Qaeda terrorist bomb in there wot they’ve cobbled together down at the local mosque out of such ridiculous things as shampoo, peroxide an' black pepper.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Henceforth all 101 calls from Grandma - to report missing cats or Jolly Jihadi Muslim fanatics or local flashers will cost 15p per minute from a land line or mobile – which Plod Squad chiefs hope will boost their Tory-gutted annual budgets and reduce the number of officers being hired out as private security guards and night club / strip joint bouncers to make ends meet.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt;Deaf, hard of hearing, and speech-impaired persons (excluding Tourettes Syndrome sufferers) unable to understand what the fuck Rajiv or Minjeeter manning the Delhi call centre are saying, will still have the option to ring 999 instead and speak to PC Wormhole Jaffacake.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Durham police spokeswoman WPC Candida Snatchrot, informed one press hack from the Yobsters Gazette that in an emergency – such as a Mexican standoff situation with an armed burglar – members of the public should automatically dial 999 – and continue to listen to the engaged tone until they get bored and decide to take the law into their own hands – at which time a mobile patrol of SO19 Armed Response Unit officers will be dispatched and on the scene in minutes to arrest them for breaching the Scallies Rights Act 2011.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought for the day: Home Secretary Theresa Maybe has voiced her support for the new time-wasting 15 pence per call scheme, claiming that 101 will be a lot easier for people to remember than 999. Que? WTF?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-5867741412187859613?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/5867741412187859613/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=5867741412187859613' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/5867741412187859613'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/5867741412187859613'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/101-is-all-new-999.html' title='101 is the All-New 999'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-2623342829564247251</id><published>2011-12-14T07:23:00.006Z</published><updated>2011-12-14T07:46:26.278Z</updated><title type='text'>NATO: Waltzing with Despots &amp; Dictators</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Kraut-hosted Afghanistan conference in Bonn came to a close last week after days of achieving sweet fuck all in the way of negotiating peace with the Taliban and other annoying sources of resistance to a foreign occupation and the corrupt Western-muppet Kleptocracy Party government of the effete President Hamid Kami-Karzai imposed on their once-sovereign state – as none of them were invited to participate.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The U.S. Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, informed the one-sided assembly that the 100,000 US troops currently stationed in the Graveyard of Empires will be committed to the continued support of the corruption-ridden Afghan government for the decades to come – as long as the gas keeps flowing though the Socal pipeline and the opium crops remain bountiful.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Rodent’s pledge was made regardless of the ingrate Pakis spitting the dummy and getting a cob on with the US and NATO due the Operation Never-Ending Warfare coalition’s aircraft and troops recently blasting a couple more of their border posts to smithereens and killing every fucker old enough to bleed.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Clinton informed one press hack from the Barbarians Gazette that “These people in Islamabad have to accept that it really was an accident and not simply snub us and refuse to let our military ordnance re-supply convoys pass through the Khyber Pass en route into Afghanistan. Just watch my lips - Paki President Zardari doesn’t want to get his name added to my shit list.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;However, the rug-munching Clinton has recently cut a deal with her raving lezbo playmate, Gulnara Karimov - the eldest daughter of Uzbekistan’s dissident boiling President-for-Ever: Genghis ‘Baby-Killer’ Karimov – to re-route all NATO supplies landing at the joint US-UK military air base at Karshi-Khanabad through into Afghanistan and avoid petulant Pakiland altogether.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Since the UK’s duplicitous Libservative coalition government hosted the Uzbek parliamentary and trade delegations in London last month, Westminster has gone conspicuously silent to criticism from Ox-Rat and Amnesty International regarding Uzbekistan’s despicable train wreck of a human rights and wrongs abuse record – (almost as bad as next door’s Borat-land Kazakhstan).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;While activist cry “Foul!” from the rooftops, nary a single mention of child slave labour, of political prisoners being tortured to death, of free elections denied, overturning the ban on political opposition; nor of freedom of assembly, speech or religious belief – and not a word of the brutal martial law crackdowns on any fucker or their dog protesting for a small helping of the West’s beloved concept of ‘Democracy’. &lt;br /&gt;Instead we have a conspiratorial lockjaw state of quiescence concerning the sins of the Third World shithole and its despotic regime. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Not only has Posh Dave Scameron’s duplicitous government successfully pushed through the EUSSR a preferential tariff access agreement for Uzbek cotton - hand picked by emaciated child slaves - as a thank you gesture for President Karimov’s cooperation with the supply of Afghan-bound military logistics but the Tory Foreign Secretary Willy Vague has added to the arse-kissing by endorsing a proposal that Gulnara Karimova - the most hated woman in Uzbekistan – is welcome in London as the Uzbek Ambassador.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Gulnara and her sister Lola, described by friends and critics alike as a pair of self-promoting cunts - both of whom are renowned kleptomaniacs whose criminal ‘acquisition addictions’ surpass such career larcenists as the bloated Imelda Marcos of the Republic of the Philistines and Dis-Grace Mugabe, of Southern Rhodesia (aka The People’s Marxist Utopia of Zimbabwe) - and cut ridiculous figures with their ostentatious Christmas tree displays of jewellery – plus an entourage of bodyguards toting exposed automatic weapons to protect them from their legions of detractors, critics and sworn enemies.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ah well, such is the ‘fan club’ price of celebrity despot fame.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-2623342829564247251?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/2623342829564247251/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=2623342829564247251' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2623342829564247251'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/2623342829564247251'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/nato-waltzing-with-despots-dictators.html' title='NATO: Waltzing with Despots &amp; Dictators'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-4387943494943200989</id><published>2011-12-13T07:21:00.003Z</published><updated>2011-12-13T15:28:06.040Z</updated><title type='text'>Bahrain Monarch in UK for Credibility Check</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;King Hamad al-Nastygit of Bahrain was outed and his cover blown by Borders Agency officer Frank McSnitch as he attempted to sneak through London’s Thiefrow Airport last night disguised as a Polish plumber - in an effort to remain incognito and keep his covert visit to Broken Britain a secret – which has resulted in the red top gutter press tabloids branding him ’a right old snidey twat’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Apparently one reason for King Hamad’s clandestine visit is to consult his Harley Street therapist due suffering for acute depression following criticism of his ineptitude in dealing with the Arab Spring socio-political demonstrations – and in a flawed display of headless chicken imprudence, seconding a legion of troops from Saudi Arabia’s 21st Barbarian Brigade to assist Bahrain’s incompetent riot police in quelling the unrest and killing all protesters old enough to bleed.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;King Hamad confided to one press hack from the Whistleblowers Gazette “It is most upsetting to be referred to as a despot. These Shia peasants do not know how lucky they are to have such a benign monarch overseeing the workings of government and tending to their public affairs. Alas, they are all ingrates and I get no thanks for my efforts for building schools and teaching them to read and write – for all they do is go on Facebook and Twitter and call me impolite names and say I have sex with little boys and goats – which is a private matter and not for public disclosure.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“You should read some of the e-mails I am receiving. “We hope your tent blows away in a strong wind.” “It shall be the will of Allah that infidel lepers will piss in your water well.” “The people pray your favourite racing camel shall be crippled with haemorrhoids.” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Now the Great Satan’s evil agents in the Pentagon are demanding that I do ‘this and that and the other’ to appease these dissident scumbag protesters and ensure the security of their 5th Fleet that is anchored in Myanmar – or else they are going to move their naval base to Qatar – and take all their drunken heathen matelots and strip joints and bars and knocking shops along with them.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“So I have come here to speak with my banksters at NM Rothshite, and my old public school chums in the Tory Party and House of Lords – and meet with Posh Dave at the House of Conmans to request that he throws his support behind our efforts to maintain law and order.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Hopefully Posh Dave can put the block on Britain’s alternative human rights and wrongs media internet sources like Ox-Rat and Amnesty from publishing these reports of doctors and nurses being arrested and imprisoned and tortured to death for providing medical treatment to protesters who have been lawfully shot and wounded by our security forces - and so hopefully prevent my little kingdom ending up like Iraq or Libya have done after being dealt a double dose of NATO’s remedial ‘humanitarian intervention’ – a devastated war zone.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;However during a meeting at Downing Street later in the afternoon with the Tory-dominated Libservative Coalition’s Zillionaire’s Cabinet and the Nudge Unit think tank, Scameron was quick to point out that “You’ll be lucky, Hamad - I’m running short on credibility myself after that fuck up in Brussels last week, acting like a reckless oick and sticking my bloody neck out by vetoing the eurozone deal to prove I’m not a beef-eating surrender monkey. Perhaps you’d be better off having a word with the Quartet’s Mid-East Peace Envoy, Tony Bliar – he’ll do anything for thirty pieces of silver.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Appearing on the BBC’s ‘Let the Tumbrels Roll’ radical political debate programme last night, Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer, the leader of Bahrain's ‘Fesad fel Arz’ opposition party, informed interviewer Fellattia van der Gamm he is willing to meet with the Persian Gulf postage stamp state’s monarch, King Hamad to discuss "serious political reforms – preferably in a boxing ring.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-4387943494943200989?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/4387943494943200989/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=4387943494943200989' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4387943494943200989'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/4387943494943200989'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/bahrain-monarch-in-uk-for-credibility.html' title='Bahrain Monarch in UK for Credibility Check'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-182070343792377563</id><published>2011-12-13T07:15:00.003Z</published><updated>2011-12-17T09:51:52.049Z</updated><title type='text'>Shit Transplants Available on NHS</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Nope, this ain’t my idea of a joke. Some bright spark named Dr Alisdair MacConnachie, a gastro-enterologist at Glasgow General Hospital’s Institute of Scatology claims he’s the only doctor in Broken Britain to carry out the ‘Turd Transplant’ procedure to cure Clostridium Difficle infections – a malady that manifests when the gut is deficient in healthy bacteria.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, so if the thought of the ‘delivery’ method - via a pipe up your nose and down into your stomach – to ‘repopulate’ the healthy bacteria hasn’t made you want to chunder already, how about considering the fact you won’t know who your ‘transplant’ donor is either – or what they had for dinner the previous night prior to dropping off a nice fresh brown ‘blind mullet’ into a hospital bedpan for your ‘procedure’ – which is then processed in a blender to make a vomitous ‘Sewerage Smoothie’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Okay, if nobody fancies getting loaded up with second-hand shite to get that gastro-colonic bacteria balance just right – then there’s always the more hygienic option of slurping a wee bottle of miracle Shirota strain lactobacilli loaded Yakult drink – the label says it does the same thing – plus it comes in a variety of flavours that don’t include the taste of recycled shit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conversely, commenting on news of the pioneering treatment, Ms Beverly Titwank of the Department of Health informed press hacks that in her opinion Dr MacConnachie was full of ‘crap’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Really, who the fuck thinks this kind of ‘shit’ (sic) up – Wallace and Gromet?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-15113440&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-182070343792377563?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/182070343792377563/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=182070343792377563' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/182070343792377563'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/182070343792377563'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/shit-transplants-available-on-nhs.html' title='Shit Transplants Available on NHS'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-547488894663424410</id><published>2011-12-13T07:10:00.002Z</published><updated>2011-12-13T07:14:49.507Z</updated><title type='text'>Luke Donald Out with Back Strain</title><content type='html'>Golf champ Luke Donald became the first player to actually slip a disc and collapse on Sunday while attempting to pick up his PGA Tour and European Tour money titles prize at the Dubai World Championship.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The 50 kilo ‘Race to Dubai’ trophy is a 1/10 scale model of the profligate  Emirate’s very own Tower of Babel – the 29,100 foot high Burj Khalifa Hotel – which now thrusts its juvenile construct Legoland features a few meters above Mount Everest – and was specially fabricated for the golf tournament by the 2011 Scrapheap Challenge championship winning team – Hairy-Arsed Pikeys - out of recycled milk churns and railway lines left over from the UK’s last RattleTrack passenger train disaster.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-547488894663424410?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/547488894663424410/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=547488894663424410' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/547488894663424410'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/547488894663424410'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/luke-donald-out-with-back-strain.html' title='Luke Donald Out with Back Strain'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-6056482580224165969</id><published>2011-12-13T07:09:00.000Z</published><updated>2011-12-13T07:10:25.630Z</updated><title type='text'>Pork on Two Legs</title><content type='html'>Sky’s Filth Channel Poll Votes US Women as a bunch of lard-arsed fatties and hence ‘Sexually Non-Ergonomic’.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1289318816421419218-6056482580224165969?l=thesatirestall.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/feeds/6056482580224165969/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1289318816421419218&amp;postID=6056482580224165969' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6056482580224165969'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1289318816421419218/posts/default/6056482580224165969'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://thesatirestall.blogspot.com/2011/12/pork-on-two-legs.html' title='Pork on Two Legs'/><author><name>Rusty of</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/15965792077810915140</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='25' src='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hsWTIGOMV9w/SzC58e7VXuI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/RpojEUTtReQ/S220/badger+30+rh.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1289318816421419218.post-4269935046833742896</id><published>2011-12-12T07:13:00.009Z</published><updated>2011-12-14T05:58:11.649Z</updated><title type='text'>Scottish Justice: A Humourless Joke</title><content type='html'>Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth &amp; Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Considering our Caledonian cousins (sic) slanderous, yet well-deserved, reputation for being a bunch of tight-fisted Jocks in frocks who perpetually plead poverty, one is inclined to ponder on the fact why their Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service – with the divine blessings of Holyrood’s SNP hierarchy - are expending a veritable treasure trove of tax-payers’ hard-earned cash - £500,00 quid to date and an amount rising faster than Broken Britain’s rate of inflation every time the Stonehaven Court Sheriff’s gavel hits the bench – just to protect a bunch of Scaberdeen’s Masonic scumbag fudgers and kiddie fiddling perverts who can’t keep their hands off defenceless ‘special needs’ children. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But what can anyone expect with Scotland’s voluminous past record of establishment criminal abuse coverups – such as the Dunblane massacre strategy of concealment to name but a single conspiratorial instance - conducted by the venal Cullen Inquiry and slapped with a 100 year closure order by Lord Willy Cullen of Shitekirk himself - to protect his pederast buddies Lord George Robertson and Manky Malc’ Sinclair, the Earl of Caithness.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;More important still was the suppression and obscuring of the links between the homicidal Boy Scout pimp Thomas Hamilton and the prominent ranking members of the Scottish Rite Freemasons of the Speculative Society of Edinburgh (aka the Tartan Tadgers Club) - a covert cabal of paedo’s founded in 1764 by Masons from the Lodge Canongate Kilwinning No 2 – plus the Balmoral Bummers clique – comprising a choice selection of Scotland’s Devil-worshipping nobility and like-minded paedophile members of the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha royalty clan – aka the Wicked Windsors.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, as nobody seems to learn from the past, to the case in hand and subject of this impeachment of Scotland’s disgraceful ‘injustice’ system: specifically the saga of the Hollie Greig sexual abuse and serial rape scandal and the ‘persecution’ of Robert Green for his pro-bono efforts to investigate and expose the guilty parties. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh yes, ‘Guilty Parties’ writ with a large capital G and  P - comprising a catalogue of judges, sheriffs and advocates, plus ranking bizzies (crooked plods) – all using their nepotistic old boy connections to gag Robert Green immediately if not sooner - and put a stop to his noble efforts to achieve justice and closure for Hollie and her mother Anne – and further ensure that no other child is molested by this ‘untouchable’ cabal of establishment pederasts comprising the entire gamut of Scaberdeen society – the Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker – plus Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;With a witness citation court hearing on the itinerary for the 21st December, and Robert Green’s trial now re-scheduled for the 16th January 2012 (further Crown Office fuck-ups permitting) this entire contrived Stonehaven Court pantomime is starting to resemble more of a Brian Rix Whitehall Theatre farce directed by Wallace and Gromet than a civil offence ‘Breach of the Peace’ hearing / criminal offence ‘trial’.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;We have the prosecution witness list increasing at a geometric rate – (sixty-plus ‘deeply offended and traumatised persons of repute’ at the last count) - akin to the Sorcerer’s Apprentice’s brooms - with one Procurator Fiscal involved with the trial, Anne Currie, herself the subject of a Crown Office investigation for perjury regarding this same case.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To add to the existing bedlam we then have Stephen McGowan, yet another perjuring Procurator Fiscal - and supposedly assigned to prosecute the Breach of the Peace case in question - now served with a citation by the defence to appear as a witness - along with the ex-Lord Advocate Elish Angiolini - whose imprudent actions in appeasing Hollie Greig’s fingered principal molester, Sheriff Graeme Buchanan - and associate Grampian pederasts - have brought this fiasco of a prosecution against Robert Green to its current pathetic state of disarray.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Lawyers – a bunch of amateurs posing as professionals. Seriously, it’s a Chinese fire drill – and we’ve seen better organised riots. Little wonder the canny Scots have formed a pressure group, registered as a political party, with the apt title of Scotland Against Crooked Lawyers - dedicated to exposing the insidious corruption that permeates the very fabric of the Scottish legal system – and much else of officialdom’s business.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, one might logically inquire, who in tarnation is actually in charge of this continuing clusterfuck that the immoral and contemptible Angiolini so imprudently kick-started through a gross abuse of her powers while in public office? Whose finger is now on the proverbial pulse since her departure from office - Justice Minister Kenny MacAskill’s or that of her bungling replacement – the slack-jawed and chinless wonder Frank Mulholland? &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;At the end of the day someone is guilty of gross professional misconduct – at both ends of the justice scale: ignoring the Hollie Greig scandal while pursuing an iniquitous persecution vendetta against her crusading champion, Robert Green. Alike the real reasons behind the Dunblane scandal, yet another classical miscarriage of justice in the making.&lt;br /&gt;But there are no guilty consciences here – these are evil people – sociopaths - devoid of such as is the way of those given to the sexual abuse and serial rape of defenceless children – who would commit any further crime to cover their sins – including conspiracy to murder – or complicity therein – included.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, by comparison, these concocted charges of Breach of the Peace filed against Robert Green as a punitive measure of punishment for daring to attempt to expose their crimes is small potatoes, as our American cousins would say, in comparison to members of the Ferryhill Paedophiles Society commissioning two of Scaberdeen’s ‘finest’ Plod Squad thugs to beat Hollie’s Uncle Roy to the edge of death, then douse both he and his car with gasoline and immolate the lot – and have a bent coroner issue a verdict of suicide – all to prevent him exposing their kiddie fiddlers club.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;While viewing with contempt and disdain the concept of a ‘level playing field’, and to ensure the path of justice is perverted to suit their venal ends - conspiratorially and with malice aforethought - the Crown Office / Scaberdeen intriguers have perfidiously plotted to deny the honourable Robert Green the right to a trial by a jury of his peers – so as to ensure only a corrupt and manipulative Sheriff presides over this iniquitous Kafkaesque travesty of a trial to warrant a ‘Guilty’ verdict – little realising in their deranged concept of things that such a judgement will bring the Hollie Greig scandal to a critical mass state where the resounding chain reaction shall echo across the free media channels of the Ethernet for all eternity.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, who else amongst the Caledonian officialdom is stricken with a selective conscience and has been slipping up on the job - not doing their part to ensure justice for all and a safe ‘kiddie-fiddling-free’ environment for children?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Well, let’s start with Scotland's ‘Commissioner for Children and Young People’ – one Tam Baillie. Their website states that Tam’s job is to guarantee that all children and young people in Scotland have their rights respected. To quote “It’s a place to learn about your rights, make your voice heard and find out whose job it is to help you live safe and happy lives”.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hmmm, but not for the likes of special needs kids such as the poor Down’s Syndrome sufferer Hollie Greig, alas.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Next up for a spot of scrutinty is Senior Advocate Depute Gillian Wade – as of the 1st August 2011 the incumbent head of the National Sexual Crimes Unit (NSCU), based at the Crown Office in Edinburgh. &lt;br /&gt;As a sample of risible ridicule, Wade was personally recommended for her new position by the outgoing Head of the Unit, Derek Ogg – another moron who ignored the Hollie Greig scandal.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;When Wade assumed her position, Lord Advocate Frank ‘The Wank’ Mulholland informed press hacks “Together we will continue to strive not only to deliver justice with our team of expert prosecutors, but to provide a professional, sensitive and understandi
